Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 27, 2015
Important Dates for Year January 4-25. Winter weather panic shopping krazy daze! Jan. 12. Power outage. Big ice storm! Jan. 14 Power outage tree falls down! Jan, 17. Power outage. A dog bites the wire! Jan. 23 Power outage. He does it again! February 15. Tedious time killing hobby day I collect squished pennies. I download rare & exotic smileys, like this prancing lemur smiley from Madagascar. March 3 Anything can happen day! Barricade yourself in the closet with a mattress & a few magazines until tomorrow. March 17. Maudlin Garrulous Celtic alcoholic stereotype day. March 21 Vernal equinox. Set your clock ahead 1 hour. March 31. Wool allergy awareness day. Fine. I'm leaving. Goodbye. April 2. April Fools' Day observed. Banks closed. ATMs spit seltzer. Agk May 20. Begin violin lessons day. Eenk eenk eenk eenk June 22. Stop violin lessons day. Eenk eenk eenk eenk Stop.