Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for November 13, 2014
November 10, 2014
November 17, 2014
Transcript:
undecided voter? clueless? uncertain? here's help. discuss the choices with someone whose opinion you respect. man 1: peee-yooo. man 2: eee-yuck. first-hand knowledge of the candi-dates is good. hang around outside looking undecided. they'll be all over you like a flock of cheap suits. children are our greatest resource & the hope for the future. what are they saying? girl: this guy walks funny. boy: this guy spits when he laughs. you could study up on the candidates in depth. compare their policies and records. measure the distance between rhetoric & reality. in no time you'll slip into a zomboid coma & miss the whole electio. this is the coward's way out. if all else fails, try cosmic chance, the last sign you see on the way to your polling place is it. person 1: democrat republican democrat republican lost cat democrat republicrat demoyard sale democrat nader republican republican lose weight demo crat gutter cleaning person 2: gutter cleaning it is!
ehtaniguchi over 9 years ago
All candidates say they support education. When they’re elected, they slash appropriations for schools, cut taxes on the 1%, and say teachers are overpaid and kids these days are lazy and disrespectful. The lesson to kids then is that 1) adults lie and 2) they might as well vote for their favorite cartoon character than some guy or gal in a suit.
puddlesplatt over 9 years ago
O if we could only clean the gutters that easly?
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Since the election was more than a week ago, this invaluable advice will have to be stored away in my pitifully tiny brain until the next election season. By that time I will become stupid again and vote for someone who is on the ballot, like all the other gangsters….
stamps over 9 years ago
We could use a good bit of gutter cleaning.
ellisaana Premium Member over 9 years ago
Or you could vote for the one who calls your phone the least.That’s what I tell them.Who I actually vote for is none of their business.
ellisaana Premium Member over 9 years ago
Our polling place is at the back of a school building. It can be hard to find so they put up a big sign that said ‘Vote Here.’It was plastered on the side of a dumpster.
Daniel Jacobson over 9 years ago
For years, I have been advocating that the choice at the bottom of the candidate list should say “None of the above.” And the news media should report the number of “None of the above” votes. This way, those who would normally stay home would vote and no winning candidate will be able to declare having a “mandate,” especially since they would most likely have less than 50% of the vote.