Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 21, 2013
February 18, 2013
February 25, 2013
Transcript:
some advice for the academy it's oscar time! but what if some pushy winner won't shut up? actor: i'd like to thank my agent & my mother & my sommelier & l. ron hubbard & my cats - what th - a rolling blackout might slow him down. actor: & my producer & my feng shuist & my rolodex & hey! i'm not finished! blamo try an exploding oscar with a 2 minute fuse. res hollywood! actor: & my personal trainer & my geneticist & no! no! get them away from me! a dispirited group of oscar winners from years past who've slipped back into obscurity could be herded onstage. actor: & i'd like to thank god for believing in me! god: oh, yeah? an act of god. when approached, he said he'd love to help, but only with best picture, maybe best director.
You know what would work even better? Pull all the tables and chairs from the audience floor, and set up a free bar in the lobby of a hotel across the street. No audience, and there’s no one to impress with long speeches.