Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 14, 2011
spring vermin a brief guide rat: everyone would love me if my tail was fuzzy. rats as big as cats range- there's one under your chair description- large & rat-like those damn hoppy bugs that always jump right at you range- your basement. description- too horrifying to behold. little drop-kick sweater dogs range- the end of some old lady's leash. description- some of them wear little matching hats, too. (the dogs.) frogs with extra legs range- all-you-can-eat french restaurants. description- tastes just like mutated chicken. canadian romping sloths free-ranging. description- a nice change from the common inert sloth until a herd of them move through & flatten your azaleas.