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Groot Premium

i am groot

Recent Comments

  1. 2 months ago on Big Nate

    If this comment gets featured I reveal my face.

  2. 2 months ago on Big Nate

    IM BACK!!!!

  3. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Girl: I’ll buy the Rubik’s cube, what are you buying?

    Boy: I’ll buy this comb

    Girl: But you have no hair, what’s the use in buying a comb?

    Boy: Exactly! Then what’s the point in buying a Rubik’s cube if you have no brain?

  4. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Friend: Did you know adults have deep dark secrets and can easily be manipulated?

    Boy: Really! When I get home I’ll have to test it!

    The boy gets home

    Boy: Mom, I know everything!

    Mom: Here’s $20, don’t tell your father!

    An hour later

    Boy: Dad, I know everything!

    Dad: Here’s $20, just don’t tell your mother!

    The mailman knocks on the door

    Boy: I know everything, mister

    Mailman: Well then come give daddy a hug!

  5. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Lawyer: Did you see my client commit this burglary?

    Old Man: Yes, I clearly saw him stealing!

    Lawyer: This happened at night, are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?

    Old Man: Yes! I saw him do it!

    Lawyer: Listen, you’re 80 years old and your eyesights probably bad

    Lawyer: How far can you see at night?

    Old Man: I can see all the way to the moon

  6. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Guy: I have 2 friends in the car waiting to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetics just pull the tooth out and be done with it!

    Dentist: That’s not a good idea, you won’t be able to stand the pain

    Guy: We have a tee time for 10:00 AM at the best course in town, it’s already 9:30. I don’t have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!

    Dentist: Which tooth is it, sir?

    Guy: Babe, open your mouth and show him!

  7. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Luke: Hey Nathan, can you fix my computer?

    Nathan clicks 1 button

    Luke: So what was wrong?

    Nathan: It was an 1D 10 T error

    Luke: An ID 10 T error? What is that in case I have to fix it again?

    Nathan: Haven’t you ever heard of an ID 10 T error before?

    Luke: No

    Nathan: Write it down and I think you’ll figure it out

  8. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Son: Can I have money for a gym membership?

    Mom: Will you become John Cena by going to the gym?

    Son: Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

    Mom: speechless

  9. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Boy: Mom, what will I get for my birthday?

    Mom: Close your eyes for a couple seconds

    Boy: Okay

    Mom: Now what do you see?

    Boy: I see nothing

    Mom: And that’s what you’re gonna get!

  10. 3 months ago on Big Nate

    Stranger: Can you give me a push?

    Man: Not a chance! It’s 3 in the morning!

    Lady: Who was that?

    Man: Just some guy asking for a push

    Lady: Did you help him?

    Man: No, It’s 3 in the morning and it’s pouring rain out there!

    Lady: Don’t you remember 3 months ago when our vehicle broke down and those guys helped us?

    Lady: Get out there and help him! You should be ashamed of yourself!

    The man goes outside

    Man: Do you still need the push?

    Stranger: Yes please!

    Man: Where?

    Stranger: Over there on the swing