When my daughter was very small, my phone used to ring late at night and wake her up. It always was a very drunk woman who would then ask “Is Arthur there?” I would tell her she had the wrong number, she’d apologize, and I would hang up and try to get my daughter back to sleep.
After about five or six times of this, I finally told her “No, he’s not here, but he told me to tell you that he’s not hanging around you no more because you got ugly and fat.”
I don’t know what happened to Arthur, but I never got another call.
Of course, after the book censoring, the number of boys found in school bathrooms sticking venomous snakes down their pants became so low as to be unreportable.
In Roman funeral processions, there was an actor who proceeded the deceased and who would mimic their actions. When the Emperor Vespasian died, and he was know for being very very cheap, the actor asked the crowd how much the funeral was costing. When the crowd yelled back “100,000 aurei!” The actor looked shocked, and replied “Then just pitch me in the Tiber!”
This message is brought to by the GOP, or as we call ourselves behind closed doors, the Party of Greedy White People who Didn’t Realize that Meritocracy and Our Screams for Birth Control Back A Century Ago Would Bite Us In The Butt.
I love how this strip operates in its own little universe.