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  1. 11 days ago on Dilbert Classics

    I worked for a company who had a customer who suddenly and without warning ordered far too many parts for us to produce in the period of time we were supposed to have. So, the Production manager went on this massive effort to produce parts to fill the orders and when he was a few thousand parts shor, he shipped scrap parts that failed in the very last stages and when they were discovered some months later he apologized for a terrible “Staff error” that caused to parts to be ship so we replaced them free of charge and shipping and we became a “Super Supplier” for them and that sob, got an effen promotion.

  2. 17 days ago on Dilbert Classics

    The one that keeps popping into my mind are the “Six Sigma Black Belts” Honest to God I can’t think of a more obnoxious group. with the possible exception of the MENSA people. I swear I told my boss once I’d pay real money to watch them try and out impress each other to the point they start slaying each other with blunt force trauma weapons. He said he would too.

  3. 20 days ago on Dilbert Classics

    The best job I ever had was when I was working for myself, and you would be shocked(?), maybe shocked isn’t the right word, but surprised at the number of people who come to me wanting me to hire them. Don’t get me wrong, I had the pleasure of working with some unbelievably good people. However, they were far outnumbered by the number of really bad people, back stabber, under the bus throwers and just plain asswholes.I was at work one morning and all was well when I got a call from an old boss, who would never have been my boss but it was his daddy’s company, and his dad seemed to enjoy beating the hell out of his kids mentally and emotionally. Always seemed to dangle that carrot of taking over the business, but in his mind he wanted them to buy the business from him at a terrible mark-up. Needless to say all this family crap at work lead to a whole lot of stuff not getting done.So, I gave him a call and told him had his resume and I would consider it but to be honest he needed to keep looking and not turn any offers down. He sounded shocked and asked what the problem was, “Gee whiz, we use to work well together, and he saw no reason why we couldn’t go right back to it.” Then I said, “Partner, you recall when you laid me off?” He hesitated and said he did but then he said he had no choice. “True enough, there was no work and you guys couldn’t pay your bills. I got no issue with that, hell, I’d have done the same thing.”“So what’s the problem?” He asked. You remember two years later and you were looking to hire a new engineer and I call you up, much like you’re doing here?" And he stammered a bit and said, “Well, yeah.” I said, “Remember you couldn’t hire me back because you thought I wasn’t the right match for you anymore?” And he sounded so innocent when he said, “I just don’t remember it that way at all.” Then I said, “Unfortunately, I do. You have a nice life.”

  4. 22 days ago on Dilbert Classics

    I recall I got rented out once to a company who had six engineers working for them but none of whom were designers. They’d contracted with my company to rent me for several months once and so they gave me an office in with the other engineers. I came in six o’clock and usually left at five or six o’clock. I was introduced to everyone and shown where the restroom was and then given specifics on what I was to handle. I gave them my tentative work schedule and really didn’t spend a great deal of time with anyone, as I had work to do. So, two months goes by and I told the Manager that I needed to go over what I had with him. So he set up a review and I swear there were guys in there I had no idea who they were. The review actually took two days and pretty much went without a hitch. So the Manager said to me he never seen any equipment change go through without any sort of screaming from everyone. I told him that was because I was taught to work with the people who would be involved from the beginning. Work out where the electrical guy wants to put his switches and what he needs for wiring. Same thing for the hydraulics guys and water and drainage guys and the production guys.Ok, so later on after I was back at my regular job, the manager called my boss and told him he had a talk with his people about how smoothly the project I worked on went and why couldn’t they coordinated their projects like they’d seen me do. His favorite response was, “Well, you know, he’s a contractor and that’s sort of what they do as they can’t make decisions on their own.” He told my boss he never wanted to fire an entire department so badly in his life.For some strange reason though, I couldn’t seen to get hired by them.

  5. 22 days ago on Dilbert Classics

    Jesus H. Christ! Don’t give Human Resources ideas.

  6. 4 months ago on Dilbert Classics

    Everyone out did Dan Quayle, I still can’t believe he got elected to the Senate and George I, made him his running mate. Then the fool thought to trying and run again in 2008. Well, if “W” could get elected then I guess he figured he had a shot. Trouble was he didn’t have any brothers as Governors in key states to help him out.

  7. 5 months ago on Dilbert Classics

    I never had to look busy. I was always trying to get my regular work done plus the couple messed up projects I was asked to take over as the person or persons who’d gotten them to their current state had just been promoted. And who threw what at Mickey D’s?

  8. 5 months ago on Dilbert Classics

    I worked for a company in North Carolina and they had a guy who worked in the front office, not really sure what he did, but he was busy as all get out all the time. Turned out he was arranging loans for primary and secondary mortgages for people and was making like $1,200 a loan. When they caught him they told him he could keep his job but the running of a business during company hours had to stop, so he turned in his resignation.I asked him how many of those things he could sell in a week, he said, “My record is fifteen, but I usually only get about eight during a regular week.” He was actually the second person who’d been making a fortune as a side line. I later discovered a female friend of mine was making porn, this was back in the mid seventies when making porn was illegal, but you could show it in movies and adult book stores. While she didn’t make porn, at work, she did make porn on weekends and confessed that she was paid cash and she only kept this job in order to have a job and income to report and pay taxes on and look like good little Jane Doe, all American Girl.

  9. 6 months ago on Dilbert Classics

    Dayum! I think I worked at the same place. I solved the problem differently, I waited until my manager was on vacation then got a lock installed on the office closet and had shelves put in. Boss near shit until he went to his first manager meeting and the Plant Manager, who signed my request for a lock and shelves congratulated him on having a good man who showed some initiative and cleaned up that pile of documents. Hell, he came back from the meeting, came over and asked me to show him this amazing thing he’d just gotten complimented for, so I did., Then he started to tell me off and I stopped him and I said, “When do you go on vacation again?” There are other things that require attention.Honest to God, he didn’t speak to me for about two weeks.

  10. 7 months ago on Dilbert Classics

    If I don’t reconise the number or they don’t tell who they are, I don’t answer.