Pickles by Brian Crane for September 17, 2022

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    carlsonbob  5 months ago

    I already can see the Fred Sanford “heart attacks” on Sanford and Son. “Elizabeth, I’m coming to join you honey”.

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    Rhonda Santis  5 months ago

    I don’t actually have THIS problem. Spouse used to do this to me at the “make your decorations” store, but has fallen out of the habit (thank goodness). The solution is easy (for me): I go sit in the car. With my book.

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    Wilde Bill  5 months ago

    Sometimes 20 minutes seems like 3 hours, but sometimes it really is 3 hours.

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    Templo S.U.D.  5 months ago

    how is being at the hardware store or some other male retail store with Earl any different than Earl with you at your fabric store or some other female retail store, Opal?

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    Zykoic  5 months ago

    I always say to the wife that she owes me equal time at Harbor Freight.

    That never works…..

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    AlondraRachellaLabute  5 months ago

    Couples need to stop doing this to each other. Don’t drag him to the fabric store Opal. And don’t drag her to the hardware store Earl. Go by yourself or with a friend.

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    maureenmck Premium Member 5 months ago

    It didn’t work for Jimmy Kimmel when he tried this at the Golden Globes during Quinta Brunson’s acceptance speech. Get up, Earl. Nobody is falling for your act, least of all Opal.

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    gbars70  5 months ago

    Earl is dead tired…

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    TStyle78  5 months ago

    I know the feeling. My ex LOVED the fabric and crafts stores. She liked to look and buy them, but not actually do anything with them. I learned to deal with it by trying to entertain myself while I was there. I would play with the stuff and ask questions about some of it. So it seemed like I cared and was interested, lol.

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    sandpiper  5 months ago

    When we decide we need new cushions or to change other home decorations, we usually shop together and chat about the choices. One has a talent for choosing designs and fabrics, while the other seems to be able to match colors and designs. Made for interesting trips over the decades.

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    iggyman  5 months ago

    You go to the mall and the old guys are out on the benches while their wives are shopping !

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    Olddog04  5 months ago

    It’s not fake

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    Doug K  5 months ago

    How time doesn’t fly when …

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    jagedlo  5 months ago

    Should have brought a magazine and a chair to sit in, Earl!

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    Stocky One  5 months ago

    Earl is the boy who cried “wool!”.

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    jslabotnik  5 months ago

    Hmm, another half hour in the fabric store vs. the rest of the day and overnight in a hospital…yeah, Earl’s got it about right

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    jimmeh  5 months ago

    Some day you might really be having ‘the big one’ and she’ll ignore you. It’s never good to cry wolf.

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    holdenrex  5 months ago

    Reminds me of an excruciating “musical” performance I once endured. When it ended, I guesstimated it ran for 40 minutes, but the clock confirmed it was only 20. I later searched online for anybody else who witnessed the same performance and discovered a review which also said the guy performed for 40 minutes, so I was not the only one who experienced time distortion.

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    The Orange Mailman  5 months ago

    One of these days it’s going to be a real heart attack. What will you do then, Opal? Casually step over him? Drape some fabric over him? Make a smart remark?

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    Zebrastripes  5 months ago

    I’m with Earl! I do not like to shop.

    I hate shopping with someone who has to touch everything and take 5 minutes to decide buying it or not….plus, the smell of dyes would kill me….Ew
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    Ichabod Ferguson  5 months ago

    Putting on the border is my least favorite part of quilting.

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    adutcher1945  5 months ago

    Priceless!

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    Alberta Oil Premium Member 5 months ago

    Time flies when you are having fun… and, it works the other way as well.

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    LKrueger41  5 months ago

    I’m a guy who hav voluntarily spent time in fabric store – recently, buying stuff to sew costumes for my grandkids. Earl is missing his best bet to escape. He needs to feign allergy to the odor of fabric dye. It doesn’t bother me, but is a very pronounced ‘chemical’ smell.

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    monya_43  5 months ago

    I hope he’s faking it and not the real thing!

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    zeexenon  5 months ago

    Frankly, I’m with Earl.

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    kathleenhicks62  5 months ago

    Earl, go sit outside with the paper or a book and ignore her.

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    Redd Panda  5 months ago

    ""Earl, we ‘ll be done in 5 … and then we can go by the wallpaper store.’’

    Earl fakes his own death by assuming the Dead Roach position.

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    heathcliff2  5 months ago

    Try some drama classes, Earl.

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    Moonkey Premium Member 5 months ago

    I prefer to shop alone. I am done quicker and don’t have to cater to anyone. My one exception is to shop with my daughter. I never get anything for me, but I like to spend time with her.

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    ANIMAL  5 months ago

    Why can’t he just stay HOME..????

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    MuddyUSA  Premium Member 5 months ago

    Poor Earl…she knows all his tricks!

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    Jujeebean  5 months ago

    Tantrums thrown by seniors. LOL

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    rick92040  5 months ago

    My wife goes by herself.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  5 months ago

    Fool me once, yada yada.

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    kab2rb  5 months ago

    This time I feel bad for Earl, as there be no place to stand.I remember another example, my kids was much younger and civic center had electronic sale, so hubby wanted to go with the kids, $5 each to get in, I almost wished I stayed home, I got like Earl too bored, only difference I always keep a book in my bag, last time I forgot to bring one and I got totally bored was at a Best Buy and I checked no books, not this time, so I leaned against a wall and started to read, this caught a vendor’s eye who came by asked about the book, I showed him. There was no chair to sit on. I think we was there for an hour, kids could not find what they wanted.

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    Kylwell  5 months ago

    So did you hear about how Red Foxx died?

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    shelbydiane Premium Member 5 months ago

    Going shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden

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    Jogger2  5 months ago

    During a live performance, actor / comedian Dick Shawn had a severe heart attack on stage. The audience thought it was part of the act, so no one responded for several minutes.

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    MarshaOstroff  5 months ago

    My late father loved to go shopping, my mother, not so much. When I would visit my parents after having been on my own for some years, my father would take me shopping and often helped me pick out the perfect piece of clothing!

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    Queen of America Premium Member 5 months ago

    I tried a new quilt shop last week and they had some nice, comfy chairs in the back area. I presumed they were for friends or spouses.Went to my regular shop today and my husband was picking out backing for a Halloween quilt I just finished.

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    David Huie Green LosersBlameOthers&It'sYOURfault  5 months ago

    Redd Foxx (John Elroy Sanford) comes to mind. Faked heart attacks until he had one. I wondered if the time determining he wsn’t faking could have made the difference.

    I liked him.

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