Pickles by Brian Crane for February 17, 2022

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    allen@home  over 2 years ago

    My father has had this procedure before. Don’t recall him saying that he couldn’t have any solid food three days before the test. Did say had to drink something that would clean him out. Said that was a whole lotta fun.

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    sirbadger  over 2 years ago

    I only had one daytime day with no food, although there were 2 nights with no solid food. After drinking the special drink, I folded clothes between trips to the bathroom.

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    Wilde Bill  over 2 years ago

    It’s not 3 days. She embellished the tale.

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    “Thank you,” asks Earl, dumbfounded. “You’re welcome,” replies Opal cheerfully.

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    suv2000  over 2 years ago

    Actually it is 12 hours. Before

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    LastRoseOfSummer 1 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I laughed out loud at this one!

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    Concretionist  over 2 years ago

    Various docs have various protocols, but lately — in my life — they’ve been merely bad, not so awful as they used to be. None of them have EVER had more than a day of liquid diet, and that was 30 or so years ago. I had one on Tuesday, and the food restrictions were “no nuts or seeds” for a few days, “no NSAIDs” for a few days more than that and “low fiber diet” for the last day followed by 4 liters of narsty tastin’ medsin in two two-liter doses each taken over 2 hours, one before bed, one on the morning of the procedure.

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    GROG Premium Member over 2 years ago

    3 days? Are you trying to get out of cooking?

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    Bullet Bronson Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Ahhh, the Atomic Laxative. Good times.

    What’s it like to take it? Well, picture the Space Shuttle taking off. That pretty much sums it up.

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    stillfickled Premium Member over 2 years ago

    That’s not how I remember it.

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    Meowmocha  over 2 years ago

    “Thank you for all this torture, dear wife.”

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    Doug K  over 2 years ago

    Earl should return the favor.

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    Mikey Jay  over 2 years ago

    I had one this summer—no biggie. It went smoothly. However several years ago a different doctor performed this procedure on me and in the middle of it I began to wake up. I could feel that thing inside of me moving around. It creeped me out. When they realized that I was coming to this upped the stuff that made me sleep. That has only happened once and that is enough!

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    John Wiley Premium Member over 2 years ago

    The only good thing about a colonoscopy is the propofol (Milk of amnesia). Best sleep I’ve ever had.

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    KA7DRE Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I feel sorry for old Earl…. he’ll lose everything he ever ate since 1963.

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Reserve the washroom and stay close to it after drinking that stuff.

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    iggyman  over 2 years ago

    Sore butt from the prep stuff!

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    sandpiper  over 2 years ago

    But she hasn’t mentioned making an appointment for herself. So, Earl, turn about would be fair play.

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    Justanolddude Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Make sure your iPad is charged up and buy the Jumbo pack of the good TP. You can thank me later.

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    [Traveler] Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Niece’s husband had one last month and didn’t follow the clean out routine completely. Had to take a second one. They also found cancer. He’s just had his first chemo treatment. Cancer is a bitch.

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    jagedlo  over 2 years ago

    Jeff Foxworthy on his colonoscopy…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN5Xpb4wmz4

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    LeftCoastKen Premium Member over 2 years ago

    So Opal, you made the appointment ON this Tuesday, or FOR this Tuesday? For this sorta thing, ya gotta be clear!

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    Cpeckbourlioux  over 2 years ago

    Stop it! Make it stop!

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    Redd Panda  over 2 years ago

    The Anesthesia they use is Propofol. Same stuff that killed mike jackson. Cool, huh?

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    well-i-never  over 2 years ago

    Next week – KIDNEY STONES – for your morning reading enjoyment!

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    6foot6  over 2 years ago

    3 days? That’s not how I remember it.

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    JaneCl  over 2 years ago

    Getting ready to have them is worse than the procedure.

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    I was in the operating room and was out but woke briefly to see and Heard a nurse say, “ it’s in”! She intubated me then I was out again. Scary!

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    I’m so done with this procedure…….

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    kjnrun  over 2 years ago

    This is hilarious. Funniest cartoon today winner.

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    elbow macaroni  over 2 years ago

    False information on days without solid food. One day, not three, without solid food. This sort of bogus information to set up a lame punchline may discourage people from a life-saving procedure.

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    goboboyd  over 2 years ago

    It might be as close as you get for an ‘adventure’. And an excuse to eat everything in sight when it’s done. Plus, sedation!

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    tremaine53  over 2 years ago

    “I signed you up for an ultramarathon, Opal. Aren’t you going to thank me?”

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    Moonkey Premium Member over 2 years ago

    How many of you who woke up during the procedure are redheads? Men with only red beards count. We need more anesthesia than most people, and it helps to let the dr’s know ahead of time. I was once told by an anesthesiologist that it was a “myth.” I woke up in the middle of foot surgery, and when I was told I didn’t, I described the fact that when I was first put under, there was a man and a woman doing the anesthesia. I woke up, and they had changed it to two women. I described what they did, and I was no longer told I didn’t wake up. That wasn’t the first time, and probably won’t be the last.

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    Moonkey Premium Member over 2 years ago

    My very first colonoscopy had a 3-day prep. I remember doing the food changes at work for the first two days, and then the “drano” for day 3. Now, my doctor doesn’t do that anymore but they do give me the same amount of “drano” that they give to much larger people. So I have to start earlier in the day and space the drinks out farther. To kill the taste, you can use a straw, and take a hard candy in your mouth – without red dyes – and it does help. It screens cancer. It’s a miserable prep, but it does save lives.

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    Ratman  over 2 years ago

    I had one a couple months ago. When I woke up I apologized to the nurse taking care of me. She asked me why I was apologizing. I told her I was sorry she didn’t see my best side that day :-)

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    paulscon  over 2 years ago

    Wow! 80 comments about this. The truth is that in countries where the people eat mostly plants there is no colon cancer. Eating meat is the cause of colon cancer. Ditch meat and switch to beans and grains for good health.

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    Snolep  over 2 years ago

    The answer is use Cologuard if ok with your doc. And no, I don’t work for them.

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    Duane Ott  over 2 years ago

    Last thought before anesthesiologist put me clear under, “Damn, that thing is cold!” First comment on waking up, “Thought I wasn’t supposed to ‘feel a thing.’”

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    Mayor Snorkum  over 2 years ago

    After my last procedure, the Gastro doc told me I didn’t have to come in anymore, presumably because I was now old enough not to have to worry about colon cancer, which grows very slowly and I’d die of something else before the C could take me away. A mixed blessing, but at least no more haunting the bathroom all night before you ride the roto-rooter.

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    sobrown51  over 2 years ago

    I’ve had a few but never recall not being able to eat solid foods for 3 days prior. Just nothing but clear liquids after midnight of the night before.

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    kab2rb  over 2 years ago

    Well Opal it is not you has to schedule colon test it is the Dr. and plus once ordered direction’s no solid foods day before, yet prep work.

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    MuddyUSA  Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Earl will thank her when it is all over….or maybe not?

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    geneking7320  over 2 years ago

    I never had to stay off solid food.

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    oldchas  over 2 years ago

    Both of my parents had colon cancer. Mom died of it. It’s not something I take lightly. I’ve had quite a number of colonoscopies since 1998. The prep has gotten less traumatic over the years. The procedure has always been, watch an anesthesiologist inject something into the IV and wake up in another room.

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    Buckeye67  over 2 years ago

    Just remember there are two things worse than a colonoscopy, a sigmoidoscopy because you are wide awake during the procedure and a barium enema X-ray which is not only extremely painful but is also an extremely humiliating experience.

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    ArtisticArtemis  over 2 years ago

    I see an “I appreciate that.” as far more realistic a reply than any kind of thanks. :-P

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    David Huie Green AmericaIsGreatItHasUs  over 2 years ago

    She would probably detect his sarcasm if he DID thank her.

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    Plods with ...™  over 2 years ago

    Go lightly my @

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    zeexenon  over 2 years ago

    Hey, anyone want to buy unused extra broth I have?

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    Dr_Fogg  over 2 years ago

    Choked on that one!! ROFL

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    alkabelis Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Yeah the prelude is no fun at all but the epilogue is pretty enjoyable. That drug cocktail you get is the peaceful I have ever felt.

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    rob  over 2 years ago

    One would think with today’s technology there would be a less painful way, to a certain area, to cleanse one’s system.

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    LocoEngr  over 2 years ago

    I have one, my second, on Monday. I woke up towards the end of my first one, but didn’t feel anything. Just laid there watching the screen. It thought about saying, “Woof, woof.” “What’s that Lassie? Timmy’s lost in a cave.” But I didn’t.Only have to go without solid food for one day before it.

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    donwestonmysteries  over 2 years ago

    3 days? My last one was 24 hours.

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    w16521  over 2 years ago

    If this were reversed Opal would be furious at Earl for reminding her.

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    paullp Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Unless that’s really how it’s done in their universe, I think she’s conning him about the three days. Not nice, Opal.

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    geekboy_x  over 2 years ago

    Search parameters: Gallagher, colonoscopy. Go..

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    Mary Sullivan Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Anyone seen Billy Connolly’s talk about colonoscopies? Pretty funny. https://vimeo.com/24340828

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    pbr50138  over 2 years ago

    3 days? No way.

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