Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 12, 2024

I thought Pig was going to say that Jesus saves because he has a coupon.

Clearly illustrating that he doesn’t know Spanish pronunciation.

Jesus in Spanish sounds like Hey Zeus.

Jesus Martinez has a great rising crust pizza. The downside is that it takes three days to make.

For much less, two weeks ago, the bigots crucified the opening ceremony of the Olympics.

“Hey, Zeus, don’t feel too bad/Use a map app, and make it better. /Remember to check your route at the start/And in your heart, you know it’s better.(Sorry, I got up way too early this morning.)

Jesus , our Spanish friend, has a bank account, Jesus saves!

Render therefore to Little Caesar’s that which is Little Caesar’s…

I get my pizza from Father John’s.

Jesus’ crust will rise again.

When he comes back, ask him to do the water/wine trick again!

I was going to suggest a Constitutional amendment regarding the separation of church and the comics… but they make such wonderful targets.

don’t order pizza from somewhere else… I mean, who else can split it in 5000 slices?

There’s an old (and silly) Latino joke. Chrush Orange Soda is pronounced Croos, and it sounds like Cruz which means Cross in Spanish. There was a bar named Babylon (a joke with biblical meaning?..) where all kinds of perversions were practiced regularly. Jesus decided to go there and redeem the sinners. He knocks on the door. The owner is in there completely passed out and he yells from the bed “Who’s there?”“It’s me. Jesus”“Jesus who?”“Jesus, from the cross (cruz)”“And you wake me up for that?? Drop a couple crates! I’ll pay you next week!”

No, Rat . . . It is you that we wish would go away. We love Stephan. He makes us laugh.

Yeah what you trying to doing evangelism eh.

It’s not a Spanish lesson, it’s a cartoon!

If he went away then you’d go away, too. ..er, why am I talking to you, you’re a drawing.

No mierda?

It’s pronounced, “Hey-Seuss.”

It’s Hey Susse, you idiot

The Church of Jesus of the Hand Tossed Pizza.

I hope Jesus has GPS when he comes for me, too!

It’s probably very good pizza, since it’s not a chain

So true, Pastis, so true.

Certainly hope He hurries up a bit because things are pretty glum right now.

Coming again, Coming again,

May be morning, may be noon,

May be evening and may be soon!

Coming again, Coming again;

O what a wonderful day it will be -

Jesus is coming again!

Yes, and the way things are going, I hope it’s soon. OH! He meant Mr. Martinez! Well, I hope they enjoy the pizza.

Hahahaha

And if your creator goes, you vanish in a puff of imagination, Rat.

Can someone please open that bottle of Pastis? :D

Give it til the third day

halfway thru the first panel, I knew where this was goin’… (that’s probly not a good sign, either…)

He will.

Some are still waiting patiently, while God’s Stiff Necked Children just gave up looking for the First Arrrival.

I wouldn’t hold my breath about that “coming back” thing.

Poor Stephen! … Or maybe … NOT !!! … :)

As David Letterman used to say: “We’re gonna get letters, lotsa, lotsa letters”. I’m sure there are a lot of offended readers today (just like the time he had the baby Jesus replaced by a croc in the manger scene).

You said it, man!

Oh, boy, the Born Agains will no like this one!

I once had a NYC taxi driver named Jesus drive my husband and me from midtown Manhattan to Yorktown at rush hour. Lots opportunities for prayer. But I like to say that although I might not walk with Jesus, I’ve ridden in his cab, and survived.

He took my wheel!

Try ordering from Torgo’s Pizza (MST3K reference). Although, I’m not sure The Master would approve.

LOLOL - Rat, if Stephan went away, so would you … and that would be sad ;)

Bumper sticker idea " I ♡ Jesus" then in smaller text “& Raul & Pedro & Luis &…”

You know you’re in the right when you aggravate Rat. Big thumbs up for the pun

That one is a bit of a stretch.

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

Hey, Rat! Everyone’s got to earn a living!

If all the stuff that’s going on, shouldn’t be people be worried about WWIII and the Great Tribulation? Mr. Pastis could be a prophet or trying to tell us something in secret code!!!