Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 11, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  3 months ago

    Pig, she’s not worth talking to.

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    BasilBruce  3 months ago

    Pig: “Thanks, I’m sure it has a better shape than you have.”

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    pearlsbs  3 months ago

    If someone came up to me and asked me if I know what time it is, I would just say, “Yes.”

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    DamnHappyChappy  3 months ago

    My mates chat up line was “How did you get such a fit body?” after she had explained, he would just say “I was hoping buying you a drink would do the trick”. It worked on a couple of occasions

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    oldpine52  3 months ago

    As the group Chicago ask, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

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    einarbt  3 months ago

    Pig dodged a bullet there as they say.

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    iggyman  3 months ago

    You’re better off not knowing the crabby girl, Pig!

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    Cornelius Noodleman  3 months ago

    Time for you to buy a watch!

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    Purple People Eater  3 months ago

    Used to be that, if you wanted to know what time it was, you’d look at your watch, and if you wanted to make a phone call, you’d use your phone. Now, if you want to know what time it is, you look at your phone, and if you want to make a call, you use your watch.

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    minty_Joe  3 months ago

    “With that kind of attitude, ma’am, don’t expect ANYONE to save your life from disaster. Good luck with that.”

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    cornfed  3 months ago

    it worked for me about 30 years ago. Good thing I remembered to take off my watch first.

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    phritzg Premium Member 3 months ago

    Considering the way Pig seems to be staring at her chest in panels 2 and 3, I expected her to say something quite different (although still using the swear word).

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    PaulAbbott2  3 months ago

    “And you better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone. For the times they are a-changin”

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    The Orange Mailman  3 months ago

    Grawlix = Smart

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    Kaputnik  3 months ago

    I actually forgot to bring my phone with me the other day when I went out for a few hours. Felt a bit strange, but somehow I survived.

    But if I want to know what time it is, I look at my watch. Quicker than hauling my phone out of a pocket, even if I remembered to bring it with me.

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    Ellis97  3 months ago

    Boy, talk about rude.

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    ShadowBeast Premium Member 3 months ago

    Considering her response, Pig is better off.

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    William North Premium Member 3 months ago

    I always thought Pig was in a relationship with Pigita?

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    SquidGamerGal  3 months ago

    WHOA! Totally uncalled for, lady! He just asked you a question!

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    Guybrush Threepwood  3 months ago

    Nah, times didn’t change, they’ve always been rude.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 3 months ago

    “I said “Typical Nasty Weather.”

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    rgulyash  3 months ago

    Time to walk away from that one, Pig

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    morningglory73 Premium Member 3 months ago

    If she had been interested she would have given him the time. Obviously, she was not.

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    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member 3 months ago

    Instant Red Flag! She saved you a lot of wasted time!

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    Ermine Notyours  3 months ago

    Reminds me of the Dr. Demento song “2 Hot 4 U” by Barry and the Bookbinders. “Just ask her. The worst thing she can say is no.”

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    jel354  3 months ago

    Pig should nurse that wound with some cheese.

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    priyansh.jeziel  2 months ago

    I have to wonder what percent of Americans could NOT tell the time if they looked at a ‘normal’ clock? Then, to really fk them over, ask the same question when looking at a clock with Roman numerals.

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    ladykat  2 months ago

    Yes, they certainly have.

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    HOTLOTUS1  2 months ago

    and i believe that was Chicago Transit Authority. or CTA or Chicago or Chicago with Peter Cetera or …

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    Bruce388  2 months ago

    Some comedian’s first line: “Hello, there. Can I buy you a house?”

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    mindjob  2 months ago

    That line only works on people who have a good nature

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    Goat from PBS  2 months ago

    “Your face is good. I’m-a Soos.”

    -Soos, Gravity Falls

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    hooglah  2 months ago

    Just tell her, " I’m sorry, you probably couldn’t tell time anyway", and leave it at that.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member 2 months ago

    Switching from music to books, I think “Time Enough for Love” by Robert Heinlein is more appropriate…

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    prrdh  2 months ago

    Another possible reply is, ‘Which time zone?’

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    pripley  2 months ago

    A good technique to starting a conversation with anyone is to make an observation about something around you. It can be anything from the weather, your location, something they are wearing.

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    zeexenon  2 months ago

    Try, “Hi there honey, I adore your curves, are you a lady of the night?”

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    bigplayray  2 months ago

    As Richard Pryor would say (As “Mudbone”) “Time for you to stop F-KEN wit me!”

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    sschardi  2 months ago

    When someone asks me if I have the time, I say yes, but I’m not in the mood.

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    Bilan  2 months ago

    When the woman says that Pig should look at his phone, she’s really saying that she knows he’s trying to pick up on her and she wouldn’t even give him the time of day.

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    TheWildSow  2 months ago

    Does anybody really care?

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    the lost wizard  2 months ago

    Time has come today. :)

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    _lounger_  2 months ago

    that coffee must be strong…

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    Hedgehog LL  2 months ago

    A two level pun. Ha!

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    Charlie Tuba  2 months ago

    Pig should have said, “If you got the time, I got the beer!”

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    JPuzzleWhiz  2 months ago

    I’d say how I’d react to what that rude lady said, but I don’t wanna get banned…!

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    John Jorgensen  2 months ago

    But which times have changed, Pig? Which times?

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    DaBump Premium Member 2 months ago

    “Girls” didn’t use to use language like that.

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    Aladar30 Premium Member 2 months ago

    Fortunately! It was so boring to hear that lame approach tactic.

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    wildlandwaters  2 months ago

    …and it’s later than you think!

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    Swirls Before Pine  2 months ago

    You found a good one, Pig. Think of all the time and effort she just saved you.

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    Charlie Tuba  2 months ago

    But I don’t have my phone with me. (Or my watch!)

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    fourteenpeeves  2 months ago

    I once picked up a girl in a bar.

    Then she yelled “Put me down, you idiot !”

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    alantain  2 months ago

    I’m not sure, but I think that qualifies as a “red flag”.

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