Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 25, 2024

  1. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  6 months ago

    But what about burgers?

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    BE THIS GUY  6 months ago

    What if you’re on a low carb diet?

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    Asharah  6 months ago

    What about chocolate?

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    The dude from FL (not bragging) Premium Member 6 months ago

    Heaven on Earth!

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    InuYugiHakusho  6 months ago

    Not a bad way to go out, admittedly.

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    Hello Everyone  6 months ago

    Be sure to put lots of Cheese on the Pasta!

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    Need coffee  6 months ago

    A fake noodle is an impasta.

    (Steph, you can rest easy for a couple of days while Rat comes after me with the baseball bat.)

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    Cornelius Noodleman  6 months ago

    The purpose of life is for everyone to ask everybody else questions.

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    Bilan  6 months ago

    I just hope I don’t go while eating – dying with my face in the pasta. That wouldn’t make for a good portrait at my wake.

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    pearlsbs  6 months ago

    WAOTH missed it this time. He forgot about the beer to wash down the pasta.

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    DanielRyanMulligan1  6 months ago

    Uh, I think, uh, RERUN, REPEAT, or, as my mommy would claim: COPY-COPY!!!! Dan aka…

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    jonnytest  6 months ago

    And cheese! Don’t forget the cheese!

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    GROG Premium Member 6 months ago

    I’d rather die before eating all that pasta.

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    John Smith  6 months ago

    Doesn’t sound that funny either

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    Concretionist  6 months ago

    Life is but a brief flash of sunlight as you drop from birth into the grave. Enjoy it while it lasts!

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    blunebottle  6 months ago

    In Pig’s case, cheese.

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    iggyman  6 months ago

    “Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think, Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink, the years go by as quickly as a wink, Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yours it’s later than you think”!

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    Troglodyte  6 months ago

    Forget the pasta, look to the fyoocha!

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    Gent  6 months ago

    Stuff your face with pasta? What? Why?

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    markkahler52  6 months ago

    No…not BAD at all!!

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    akachman Premium Member 6 months ago

    Let’s roll with that.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  6 months ago

    My close friend, rest his soul, said almost those very words after he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I asked him how he felt about his rather dire prognosis (his was quite advanced with other complications). He said, “well, you get born, you live as long as you can, then you die.”

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    Ellis97  6 months ago

    I just had some pasta yesterday.

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    Imagine  6 months ago


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    Paul D Premium Member 6 months ago

    Pasta is fine — for dinner. But at breakfast you need BACON.

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    brianstreleckis  6 months ago

    Hey, I stuffed my face with pasta last night!

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    VICTOR PROULX  6 months ago

    Spaghetti all’Assassina!

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    Goat from PBS  6 months ago

    Garfield? Is that you?

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    DaBump Premium Member 6 months ago

    Hmm, not much of a plot, but I like that middle part.

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    SkyFisher  6 months ago

    Ecclesiastes 12:13

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    SusieB  6 months ago

    Die fat and happy

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    johnschutt  6 months ago

    Without God, life has no ultimate meaning, value, or purpose.

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    ladykat  6 months ago

    Not just pasta.

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    aerotica69  6 months ago

    Don’t forget to put lots of cheese on that pasta.

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    rshive  6 months ago

    Nothing very philosophical about that.

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    4804408738  6 months ago

    yes! gluten-free pasta!!!

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    pripley  6 months ago

    A plumber once commented on his job security; “We are born and then we die. In between, we go to the bathroom.”

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  38. Thrill
    fritzoid Premium Member 6 months ago

    Big Jim Colosimo at Colosimo’s Restaurant,* Chicago, 1920.

    Giuseppe “Joe the Boss” Masseria at Nuovoa Villa Tammaro Restaurant, Coney Island, 1933.

    Willie Moretti at Joe’s Elbow Room Restaurant, Cliffside Park (NJ), 1951.

    Crazy Joe Gallo at Umberto’s Clam House, Little Italy, 1972.

    Carmillo “Carmine” Galante at Joe and Mary’s Italian Restaurant, Bushwick, 1979.

    “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

    Dutch Schultz and Paul Castellano were also whacked in restaurants, but they were steakhouses.

    *Getting hit in your own restaurant seems doubly mean.

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    bobbyferrel  6 months ago

    You’re born wet, cold, naked and afraid. Then it goes downhill from there.

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    Brilliant_Birdie   6 months ago

    I can accept that answer.

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    marko92752  6 months ago

    What…no cheese?

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    zarilla  6 months ago

    Will be having spaghetti with clam sauce for the third day in a row now. My wife decided she didn’t want any. Oh well…

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    Zebrastripes  6 months ago

    Except he didn’t mention stuffing my face with cheese….that worries PIG! ☺️☺️

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    Ivan Salazar Premium Member 6 months ago

    Italian is out, Mexican is what it’s at.

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    minty_Joe  6 months ago


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    zeexenon  6 months ago

    Darn, I’m fresh out.

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    cfkelley  6 months ago

    It’s better if the pasta is accompanied by a nice Chianti.

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    pamela welch Premium Member 6 months ago

    OMG,! OMG! This is so very funny — LOLOL

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    Buoy  6 months ago

    You throw it against the wall to what sticks.

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    Opus Croakus  6 months ago

    Stephan actually borrowed this from “Bloom County”, but the quote was “You’re born. You go on some diets. You die”. This way is more fun I guess.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  6 months ago

    Advice tailored to the audience, apparently.

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    wildlandwaters  6 months ago

    But… what about dessert?!?

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    rgcviper  6 months ago

    Good taste, Pig and WAOTH. I just had spaghetti for dinner on Thursday.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  6 months ago

    What, no red wine?!?!?

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  6 months ago

    Stay away from the Fra Diavolo sauce

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    Our Life  6 months ago

    Then you are just wishing that you die throughout a longer life.

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    jerry400  6 months ago

    Pasta is rubbish. Anything that has to be a different shape to distinguish it, one from another, cannot be right..

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    MichaelD Premium Member 6 months ago

    And this is why one of the major religions of the world is centered in Rome, Italy.

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