Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 23, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  6 months ago

    When I go for my annual physical, my doctor’s assistant asks me how I feel. I answer: I feel fine until you tell me what wrong with me.

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    DanielRyanMulligan1  6 months ago


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    Bilan  6 months ago

    I feel fine, but there must something wrong with me. I’m going to die sometime this century.

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    Concretionist  6 months ago

    Well, I was just diagnosed with something that’s very aggressive… and small when it was found because I do go see the doc pretty often. My odds are better than they would have been if I’d waited more months.

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    BasilBruce  6 months ago

    I find that I never have cavities until I go to the dentist.

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    Gent  6 months ago

    Eh better keeps this way Rat. Otherwise if you goes to them they will makes you takes loads of unnecessary tablets and all.

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    blunebottle  6 months ago

    I like Rat’s logic.

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    Imagine  6 months ago

    He’s alive, isn’t he?

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    Alyssa the Great  6 months ago

    Heh. Wish I could think like this. My stupid brain assumes I have every health issue until told otherwise because of my anxiety.

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    orinoco womble  6 months ago

    Lots of older people in Spain refuse to go to the doctor because the doctor might find something wrong with them. In the previous generation (the 80s and early 90s) doctors were still holding back information from older patients, such as a diagnosis of cancer. They might tell the person’s family but not the patient.

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    Differentname  6 months ago

    Saddest story ever. Poor man wins the lottery. The first thing he does is go to the doctor for a check up because he’d never been able to afford one before. Gets a terminal diagnosis.


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    Radish the wordsmith  6 months ago

    Rat will live forever.

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    F-Flash  6 months ago

    Their job is to diagnose what is ailing you, in your case, you need more than one doctor. But without going to the doctor, I’d say you are one sick twisted freak.

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    Ellis97  6 months ago

    Rat’s people are a threat to restaurants everywhere and his ancestors carried the plague, so he’s probably not as healthy as he claims.

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    Gandalf  6 months ago

    They’ll find something; they need their kickbacks.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 6 months ago

    Talk about issues, Rat has a complete set of Readers Digest going back to 1955.

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    Kilrwat Premium Member 6 months ago

    MLK’s son is dead because he did not get his PSA (prostate-specific antigen) levels checked in time. Men, have your GP or your urologist check your PSA at least annually when you turn 50, or before if there’s prostate cancer history in your family. This PSA (public service announcement) brought to you by one who’s been there.

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    jay  6 months ago

    Doctor’s should not have an apostrophe.

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    Dom999  6 months ago

    “Doctors never give you good news. It’s never like the doctor will come out and go, ‘Good news, the blood test came back: you’re immortal’. They just tell you how you got nothing yet. Keep coming back and I’ll give you this piece of news, it’ll shatter your life.” — Norm MacDonald

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    Linguist  6 months ago

    For most of my adult life, I managed to avoid doctors – and thankfully, any serious health issues. I’ve always maintained that when doctors say they are practicing medicine, that’s what they’re doing -practicing! And they bury their mistakes!

    I’ve jokingly but truthfully remarked that I’ve seen more doctors in the last few years than I did in my entire life.

    I guess that I’m like an antique car. I require a little more maintenance to keep me on the road. Fortunately, so far, I haven’t required any major repairs – just a 3 to 6-month checkup to monitor my blood pressure, cholesterol, and prostate. Not bad for an old jalopy who’ll turn 80 this year!

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    monya_43  6 months ago

    I agree with Rat’s conclusion. I didn’t know I had thyroid issues until I went to a doctor for a check up. It is easier to control my weight now than before.

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    Goat from PBS  6 months ago

    Well, it makes sense from an illogical point of view.

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    MS72  6 months ago

    Sometimes I think Medicare is more about gathering info for govt-funded studies. “On a scale of 0 – 10, how do you feel…?”

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    KageKat  6 months ago

    Some of us don’t have a choice, Rat – I’m pregnant, and the bloodwork is basically mandatory, because after all, it’s not just my health that’s in question at this point.

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    TinaSp  6 months ago

    WebMD……..oh it’s nothing …..

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    mrwiskers  6 months ago

    After I took magnesium citrate for one reason it surprisingly also shrunk this arthritis bump that had emerged on my wrist!

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    DaBump Premium Member 6 months ago

    What you don’t know, can’t hurrrrrr ACK! MY HEART! ajagagag’gf’g’,

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    Doug K  6 months ago

    Ignorance is bliss. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

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    VICTOR PROULX  6 months ago

    Take profit out of health care

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    SusieB  6 months ago

    When I didn’t have health insurance I’d avoid getting things like Fred mammograms and other free diagnostics. I worried that if something were found I wouldn’t have the resources to get treatment. Life in these United States.

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    smoore47  6 months ago

    I’m sorry to be a kiljoy but I wish my brother had seen a doctor annually. He might still be alive if he had.

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    ladykat  6 months ago

    If you don’t see a doctor, how do you know you are in good health?

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    Chris  6 months ago

    no news is good news. ;)

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    CaveCat87  6 months ago

    Rat, you’re only fooling yourself. There’s a good chance that you might have health problems that you don’t even know about, unless you happen to come upon a doctor who might just deduce that you’ve got lots of health problems while you’re out in public.

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    Bruce388  6 months ago

    I had a boss who had that attitude. He died at 57.

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    Slowly, he turned...  6 months ago

    A lot of men are like this. Just ask a doctor.

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    newsbb  6 months ago

    Anecdotes are just that, not statistical data.In general it is better to get treatment from something before it becomes a big problem, even if it means having to take pills regularly. There may be no pills that fix a big problem.

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    Zebrastripes  6 months ago

    I go to the doc when I need an RX filled. That’s it!

    He told me the ins cos want us to go every 3-6 months and I said not going to happen! What a bunch of bullcrap!

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    Brilliant_Birdie   6 months ago

    It’s ok he eats an apple everyday.

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    Cozmik Cowboy  6 months ago

    First, let me state that I do not hold with Rat’s beliefs on the matter.

    That said, my MIL (who, ironically, worked for a cardiologist her entire working life) refuses to see a doctor because she reasons that they will just find something wrong, and she doesn’t want to know.

    Except for fiber myalgia and close to total vision loss, she’s doing fine at 91. Lives alone and manages fine.

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    John Jorgensen  6 months ago

    I know it’s illogical but still, I can relate. Ignorance really is bliss a lot of the time.

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    ComicRelief  6 months ago

    This comic is not about doctors; it is about elections. In particular, the 2020 and upcoming 2024 elections.

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    withaG43  6 months ago

    My late wife had that same attitude. Lied (hid) symptoms for several years and one night had a massive heart attack and died. Don’t mess around with your health!

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    rwg1957rwg  6 months ago

    When I got Covid, I went to a horse vet. He gave me some medicine, I’ve never felt better. And he’s cheaper. (Didn’t care much for his hospital, though.)

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    zeexenon  6 months ago

    Same logic as my sister-in-law, but I’m working on it.

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    KEA  6 months ago

    Rat’s right… with health care having become a profit-driven industry, they have to find something wrong with you

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    christelisbetty  6 months ago

    Amusing fact, I was reading all this, but was interrupted by a “Phone Visit”with my Doctor, in order to get some prescriptions refilled.

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    WCraft Premium Member 6 months ago
    I like to say: A donut a day keeps the doctor away. (They told me to change my diet or not come back…)
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    PPMKS  6 months ago

    Logic can prove that logic can’t prove anything.

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