Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 21, 2021

  1. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  over 1 year ago

    Rat: “Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.”

    Stephan: “Police!”

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    BE THIS GUY  over 1 year ago

    Told you once, I won’t tell you again, it’s a bad way

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    Gloria Fleming  over 1 year ago


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    Concretionist  over 1 year ago


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    ImDaRealAni  over 1 year ago

    Cross the red light!

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 1 year ago

    That’s enough, Stephan. LOL.

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    Bilan  over 1 year ago

    This might sting . . . with every breath you take.

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    willispate  over 1 year ago

    I don’t get the Music reference of the joke.

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    macky87  over 1 year ago

    Not being a ‘Top 10’ hit made this gag a little above my pay grade. I’m not as fluent with everything Top 40.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Stephan, I agree, don’t stand so close to me.

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    PC200X  over 1 year ago

    How long did it take the rest of you to figure out the pun? I got it by panel 3. Still funny, tho.

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    B UTTONS  over 1 year ago

    Must be the 19th hole. Have the last on the rocks.

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    noahproblem  over 1 year ago

    Don’t mess around with the Demolition Rat…

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    TampaFanatic1  over 1 year ago

    Nice flashback to the early ’80s Pastis. Sting and the Police were in the regular rotation of early MTV, album rock stations and even saw some play on top 40 radio.

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    electricshadow Premium Member over 1 year ago

    From the same album, “Truth Hits Everybody” (especially if Rat’s holding the bat)

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    Major Matt Mason Premium Member over 1 year ago

    just sits for five minutes, groaning in pain

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    ronaldspence  over 1 year ago

    Rat is trying to Police the puns and Pastis will feel the Sting pretty soon. Outlandis d’Amour!

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    Imagine  over 1 year ago

    In top form today.

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    artsyguy65  over 1 year ago

    Rat is about to become The King Of Pain.

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    Imagine  over 1 year ago

    Can this be called Police brutality?

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    doctordon46  over 1 year ago

    Ok. Pastis. I’ll be watching you! Every step you take.

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    kraftjeff  over 1 year ago

    The Police will have to have you arrested if you don’t get this pun.

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    DamnHappyChappy  over 1 year ago

    I love the puns and I try not to see them before the pun-ch line as it makes the groan much more satisfactory. This was a great groan!!!!

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    iggyman  over 1 year ago

    123 Red Light, you stop me, Baby you ain’t right to stop me! (1910 Fruit Gun Company) song!

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    ULTRA MAGA Wasa Bista  over 1 year ago

    Stephan is sending out an SOS (sack of _____)

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    gopher gofer  over 1 year ago

    ♩every little pun he does is tragic…

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    John Smith  over 1 year ago

    Finally someone that understands that the comments section is for intelligent humor rather than the inane blathering of shallow, narcissistic morons. Well done!

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    Zoturdley Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Outstanding today, Stephan.

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    harkherp  over 1 year ago

    Want a real pun? Watch Sting in the original “Dune”!

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    Breadboard  over 1 year ago

    48 Hours … The Movie ….. At the beginning of the movie ;-)

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    Mr. Organization  over 1 year ago

    I LOL’ed at this one – perhaps because I’m a child of the 80’s.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Another sure sign of Spring… Pastis unleashes another groaner…and don’t try to tell me you don’t secretly LOVE IT when he does this!

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    cassandycreek  over 1 year ago

    Hilarious! It’s from two different songs by The Police from the 70’s.

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    James Wolfenstein  over 1 year ago

    Come on, guys. Don’t be so hard on Pastis, you have to give him some credit… he’s broke! :D

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    walstib  over 1 year ago

    Are there any Police tribute bands? The Pigs? The Fuzz? Etc.

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    MS72  over 1 year ago

    Roxanne got banned from her own show. Why can’t we get this guy out of the comic? :-)

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    Spring Fever Nate (Comic Reviewer)   over 1 year ago

    this random idea for a PBS strip i had.

    Rat tells pig a story of how Tommy Wiseau once had his neighbor complain about how Tommy heated up their house. Then, Tommy’s leaser comes and tears apart this paper doll Tommy calls “Mii”. The pun: “You are lying i never heat you. You are tearing Mii apart leaser!”

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    dnie  over 1 year ago

    All song lyrics from The Police songs (Roxanne, etc.)

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    Zebrastripes  over 1 year ago

    Oooh I’m so confused….

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    lv2sew  over 1 year ago

    Great pun, but always hated that stupid song.

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    TSRaman  over 1 year ago

    Bad pun: put and putt are pronounced differently.

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    deojaideep aka Courage  over 1 year ago

    Yay!! The baseball bat’s back!!

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    Iseau  over 1 year ago

    Rat’s hint, “Sting” is great.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  over 1 year ago

    okay okay: (a-HEM) .. (drum roll) .. (trumpets) … lol.

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    Ammo Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Groan! Hahaha

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    JoeStoppinghem Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Steph, this is one of your best puns… Now don’t do it again. Kidding, keep them coming, sir.

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    mail2jbl  over 1 year ago


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    EricS.Harris  over 1 year ago


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    meownir  over 1 year ago

    I thought those days were over.

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    Ellis97  over 1 year ago

    What did I say about puns?

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    aerotica69  over 1 year ago

    Every pun you make, I’ll be whacking you.

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    We has seen the enemy  over 1 year ago

    Another Sunday pun-day favorite!

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    uniquename  over 1 year ago

    Pastis, You don’t care if this is wrong or this is right.

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    Nyckname  over 1 year ago

    Must be interesting trying to putt in winds that are strong enough to move stones.

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    Gandalf  over 1 year ago

    I never liked that song… Annoying as all get out… And now it’s stuck in my head! I want to borrow that bat, Rat, when you’re through!

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    Blaidd Drwg Premium Member over 1 year ago

    The accusations fly!

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    jel354  over 1 year ago

    Stephan should send out an S.O.S.

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    rorie  over 1 year ago

    Sir, thank you for a morning of laugh after laugh!

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    Sir Ruddy Blighter, Jr.  over 1 year ago

    On the Sunday Pearls, I just skip to the last two panels, and save myself a painful trip

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    Cary Rodda Premium Member over 1 year ago

    My favorite moment on the comics page is when I read the first panel of Pearls and know a pun is coming!

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    KEA  over 1 year ago

    wow… didn’t see (hear?) that one coming

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 1 year ago

    stephan, i hope it hurt as much to write this one as it did to read it. I pronounce you King of Puns

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    MikeOsto Premium Member over 1 year ago

    It’s the first line of the song Roxanne by The Police-“You don’t have to put on the red light”.‘

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    alexius23  over 1 year ago

    Somebody call the Police

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  over 1 year ago

    Pastis has better hope Sting doesn’t read the funny pages. Not his best stuff.

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    gregaw Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Took me until panel 5

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    foodseller  over 1 year ago

    Perfect! Just perfect! I would say that is in the top 3 best so far!

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    cipactli77  over 1 year ago

    From now on every move you make I’ll be watching you.

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    snowedin, now known as Missy's mom Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Love it!

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    Loopy Frogger Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Hey Pastis… This has to be one of your best !!!! Thanks for the laugh !!!!

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    Queen of America Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I was clueless until I read the explanations.

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    KeithRoman  over 1 year ago

    There has to be an invisible pun – gives its groan to everyone. . .

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    jannichols2000  over 1 year ago

    I love the reference to two songs!!! So creative!

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    NoSleepTil_BKLYN  over 1 year ago

    For once I approve of these puns! (I’m a BIG Police & Sting fan!)

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    amayesin  over 1 year ago

    Best one ever! LOL. Had to explain it to my wife. Three jokes in one comic! A record!

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    Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray  over 1 year ago

    These are as bad as Chef Meowrice who is appearing at today’s Gasoline Alley but is only a cameo and not the full cat food commercial.

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    Bruce388  over 1 year ago

    If rocks are blowing onto the course, I’d want to be inside.

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    txmystic  over 1 year ago

    Hey Pastis: de do do do, de da da da, is all I want to say to you…

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    glenn21811  over 1 year ago

    I had the song in my head by the third panel.

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    Flatworm  over 1 year ago

    Stephen Pastis goes to the greatest lengths to contrive a pun that I have ever seen. I LOVE it!

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    kd1sq Premium Member over 1 year ago


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    LilPeruna  over 1 year ago

    Great! Just what the world needs right now! Another putt-putt pun! :)

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    sienfield_99  over 1 year ago

    STING singing Roxanne, you don’t have to put the red light on.

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    sienfield_99  over 1 year ago

    Panel no. 7, a play on words

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    dlaemmerhirt999  over 1 year ago

    “You know my mind is made up. So put away your makeUUUUUUUP!!!”

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    mtrimberger Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Triple Play!!! Woo Hoo!

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    Ermine Notyours  over 1 year ago

    Someone put that pun in a building and call the Demolition Man.

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    davids.comments  over 1 year ago

    Someone needs to call The Police on Pastis

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    El Cobbo Grande  over 1 year ago

    OMG… tune of ALL TIME !…..two songs fer the price of one!!!

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    NoNameOntheBullet  over 1 year ago

    Laughed out loud and usually do at these strips. One of my very favorites. Pastis; keep them coming and never pay any attention to the trolls who comment “they don’t get it” or “Let me tell you how this relates to me and my past experiences; me, me, me”I’m sure your popularity speaks to how well you come across. Always, Sir: Kudos!

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    WilliamDoerfler  over 1 year ago

    You’re not a Police fan.

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    RACerri32  over 1 year ago

    Great comments , groaned for 5 minutes ! But c’mon Rox , put on the red dress !

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    bunrabbit99  over 1 year ago

    i always try to guess where these are going & i never get it right. i love them, though!

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    Marvin Premium Member over 1 year ago

    This is too “inside” for most readers.

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    Cactus-Pete  over 1 year ago

    Hmmm – I think that I just might be starting to suspect in these strips when a pun is coming.

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    DCBakerEsq  over 1 year ago

    Somebody call the Pun Police. Hurry.

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    LaughterIsJoyMuliplied  over 1 year ago

    If you do Rat we all will owe you one.

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    MIKE STAUFFER  over 1 year ago

    Gotta Love It!

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    Cerabooge  over 1 year ago

    Impressive! And the last panel is quite the encore.

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    rgcviper  over 1 year ago

    Only Pastis. I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t see this pun coming, even though “Roxanne” is a really good song. Great one, though. Keep it up, sir!

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    Chris Colvard  over 1 year ago

    Rat’s about to Murder By Numbers here

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    asrialfeeple  over 1 year ago

    With these kind of puns Everybody hurts.

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    Thinkingblade  over 1 year ago

    Nice double pun there …

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    Tales of the Boojum Premium Member over 1 year ago

    The last panel is the one that made me laugh. Kind of a stinger, I guess.

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    Rose Madder Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I was never going to get this one, usually I can figure out the pun, but I’d never heard this song [title or lyric??].

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    PuppyPapa  over 1 year ago

    I sez Uh-oh to meself at the second panel . . .

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    jscarey  over 1 year ago


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    eddi_tbh  over 1 year ago

    The fact both Stephan and I are contemporaries is mildly depressing. Still laughing through the tears though.

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    The Famous Eccles  over 1 year ago

    That Stings!

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    Sisyphos  over 1 year ago

    Recognized the pun immediately; i.e., that it was a pun. But I had to look up the song on YouTube; not a big Police fan, and I think I’d not hitherto ever heard this tune. Well, a guy can’t be familiar with everything.

    Rat, add an extra stroke for me!

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    Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray  over 1 year ago

    Whooooo are the puunnn poliice ?

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    _lounger_  over 1 year ago

    Truth hits everybody

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    liberalnlovinit  over 1 year ago

    A bit obscure, this one…

    Now, if it were a Beatles or Rolling Stones song…

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    Bryan Smith Premium Member over 1 year ago

    This was one of his easier ones to figure out. Had it by Panel 3.

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    Eric S   over 1 year ago

    six feet please!

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    Eric S   over 1 year ago

    To be fair, I was born in late 72, never heard this song EVER .. until I watched the 2001 Moulin Rouge with Ewan McGregor.

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    Peter Anderson Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Every breath that Stephan takes, Rat will be watching him.

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    TIMH  over 1 year ago

    Oh, the pain! The canary has surely died in the coal mine.

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    Darryl Heine  over 1 year ago

    Police song references!

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    dc78759 Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Ok. This one gets a Putizler.

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    spikelovesmusic  over 1 year ago

    She’s usually a writer of her own material, but I’ve been having much fun with Juliana Hatfield’s Police tribute album:

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    theronwill  over 1 year ago


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    Boxo croco is gonna change his profile  about 1 year ago

    Stephan should probably call the police

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