Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 09, 2021

Rat will never join Alcoholics Anonymous because he’s NOT a quitter!

Whereas Rat is more of a Believer Under Misconceptions.

Booze against the virus.

You must have standards.

If she’s a Atheistic Trump-follower, would that make her a DRAINO?

“Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore!”

Well, ethanol kills viruses. Sort of.

I only drink on the days of the week that end with a “Y”… you would need a doctor’s signature to be more committed than that…

They say the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is the meetings…

everyone needs to believe in something – i believe i’ll have a beer…

Down, Dino, down! Heel!

Rat continues, that he may talk o’ gin and beer when he’s quartered safe out ’ere !

I will have one drink for everyday of the week, everyday.

Best way to fry your liver? Ask Rat, about a fifth a day would do it!

Rat that is why some jobs are called “Full Time” and some are “Part Time” …….. Croc Power !

Rat must be filthy rich to be able to afford so much alcohol.

Real drinkers call New Year’s Eve and St. Pat’s “Amateur Night.”

Whereas Rat lacks a working liver…

I’m on the 13th step of a 12 step program!

Alcohol doesn’t drown your problems, it irrigates them.

Bacon, eggs, bread, and beer! The breakfast of Champions! I have no problem having a beer before noon, not that I do that often, but some days?….Hell yeah!

Rat:

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink

He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times

He sings the songs that remind him of the best times

What are these weekends of which you speak??

See Amanda The Great for a shout out to Pastis by name.

Rat even drank BEFORE the pandemic

How many livers has he ruined?

Liquor sales are soaring and guns and ammo are flying off the shelves….talk about a gin fizz about to explode…

I have an alcoholic acquaintance who calls weekend drinkers and New Years Eve celebrators “amateurs”.

“I’m not advocating that everybody should drink. It just worked for me.” – Jackie Gleason

“Dino” Dean Martin of the Rat Pack – That’s the connection my brain is making.

Does anyone know if the comic strips on the election are out yet and where to find them?

Oh, wow! I’m a TINO! Teetotal in name only.

But has he started Day Drinking? The sign of a committed pro.

We in Wisconsin Never mix the grape and the grain. But we do post a designated driver outside the bar who acts like a drunk driver after everyone else is long gone. Drives Sheriff Deputies nuts.

I had always heard that Norwegians were legendary drinkers (the Viking blood and all), but then when I started to meet some through work, they just seemed like relatively ordinary folks … until they explained, that alcohol in Norway is REALLY expensive. The sin taxes are really high, a beer can cost as much as $10 a pint in a pub. So one sees them really tie it on when they can visit “low cost” or get duty free booze. Which … through work travel, I got to see a bit of, and it was true. :-)

Me blacking out when I’m drunk is life’s way of telling me that what I do when I’m drinking is none of my business.

Channeling the Drumpf, yikes!!!

Hey, you fight a war everyday, not just on weekends….

Anyone else give Rat a deep voice in their head? SO much funnier!!!

I don’t have a drinking problem. [HIC!]

I think Dino was quite the drinker (if by Dino you mean Dean Martin).

OIL see to that!

Liquor then beer, never fear. Beer then liquor, never sicker.

Rat is a dedicated—-and besotted—pro! Harken to his wisdom!