Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 05, 2021

Rule # 1, don’t tell your neighbor how many guns you have; it isn’t a deterrent.

If you spend all your money on guns, you won’t have any money left over to buy ammunition.

“So the poor old ostrich died for nothing, then.” —Private Baldrick

Good luck finding ammunition.

You only need two guns. One for medium to long range and one for close range. But you need plenty of ammunition for both.

how sensible of you, Bob

At the very least, Bob should move from an additive sequence to a multiplicative one: One gun, two guns, four guns, eight guns … or even faster: One gun, two guns, four guns, sixteen guns, 256 guns…

Hire the guard duck.

I don’t fear somebody because they have one more gun. I fear them if they have one gun.

Woah, the characters are really losing it, and not in the usual wacky way. Please bring back Larry.

I could use more Goat, Zebra and Larry the Croc. Rat is getting a bit worn out with his anti-social behavior! Time to give him a breather Pastis!

“Beware of the man who owns only one gun, he might know how to use it.”

Well, Pastis is admitting the obvious. We’re there already.

I remember an interview with Alice Cooper where he was talking about Neal Smith, the drummer in the band. Apparently Smith used to ring up Charlie Watts and ask how many drums he had.

Watts would say “uhh.. hey.. I have 35, man.”

Smith: “I have 36.” [hangs up]

Also, true preppers know it’s not about the guns, it’s the leatherwear.

Bah, guns are just for the first couple of years anyway. It’ll be sticks and stones after that.

Consider, Rat: he only has two hands.

What Rat needs is a philosophy or whatever to join neighbour in hating and fearing everyone else. Then they pool their guns. Then they are slightly less likely to shoot one another. People seem to use that to feel good for a few minutes. Silly me, they don’t want to feel good. Their anger feeds them.

Thinking of when “DeadPool” goes on his mission ! …. Croc Power !

After three or four, there’s no practical need for more Home Defense/shooting at Neighbor Bob guns….

Rat’s getting soft. There was an early Pearls strip where a dispute between Rat and a neighbor resulted in each of them purchasing an ICBM.

When fools get guns, that would be the end of civilizati… Oh.

I guess they can’t afford cannons.

I would hate to break into either house!

Was it worth a shot, Rat?

No , it seems right on schedule.

Butter Battle Book. Read it to your kids.

It’s not how many guns you have that matters…

I’ll stay home during the shoot outs. . .I’m fine with stepping over the dead bodies. . .

No, no…seems like a foolproof method of ushering in the “end times!” Keep up the good work!

Kinda like votes,huh,Don…err,Bob,yeah,Bob…

“Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!”

Lie to your neighbour whatever number of guns you bought that is sufficient for him to go broke when he tries to match your pretended arsenal.

I just bought stock in Smith & Wesson.

God forbid, at least he left Rat in the dust!

Not sure what you’re supposed to do with three guns, you can only use two at a time. One if they aren’t pistols.

And the Government still has helicopters and bombs.

You know, I realize that these are tense times. But this swaggering around with guns is not the way to go. All the county officials in Georgia have reported receiving bomb and death threats. So. . .what? You’re just going to go around blasting anybody who “looks” suspicious to you? Who disagrees with you? Who aggravates you?

Sounds like the arms race of the Cold War. With bigger idiots.

Hah! you think those guns are good? Well look at these guns! *Flexes his muscles

Ammo is really expensive and guns are flying off the shelves….since this A hole gave the go ahead for violence…if anyone needs to be taken care of……

You only have two hands, how many guns can you use at once?

Fire all the guns at once and explode into space. Steppenwolf

A gun cannot fire itself. Source: Newton’s first law of motion. This is a fact that is too often ignored. With every other crime, the person is blamed: A drunk driver is blamed for the death. THEY caused an accident, not the alcohol or vehicle. A bomber is blamed for mass casualties. THEY caused the explosion, not the bomb. Cane is responsible for murdering Abel, not the stone. Why is there a different standard when it comes to guns? Why is someone’s mental stability not the reason for the gun crime? Why is the reason for the crime not attributed to an evil ideology in this person’s head? These questions and science are always ignored by the mainstream media and leftist politicians because rationality and logic don’t get people charged up. The easiest thing to do is to blame an inanimate object and call for “change,” because why? You guessed it. It’s a great vote grabber.

Just remember, you only truly own what you can carry at a dead run.

dont tell bob you bought a gun, let him find out the hard way

You don’t need more, just better! Still, more never hurts!

never tell bob anything, it’s to dangerous. flashback to when bob got olive stains on rats driveway. Rat came at him with a spear and bob had maces, he cannot be trusted.

how many hands do we have? Sooo 3 is to many

There are two principles of weapon ownership that most can agree on:1. There are certain people who should have no weapons.2. There are certain weapons that no one should have.The problem arises from sorting out which people and which weapons.

The Second Amendment isn’t about Hunting.

They need a START treaty

Maybe just two guns is enough.

Real guns aren’t the same as the ones in this comic strip, Rat. “Well actually they-”It’s not…the same.

You have a long barrel rifle for sniper duty, a mid length barreled rifle for two to four hundred yards, a short barrel rifle for urban combat, a shotgun for crowds, and a pistol, or two, for personal protection, both a long knife and a short one, and four kinds of ammo. You must be in great shape. The army issued me one rifle and a knife. The army has studied armaments for centuries. If carrying multiple rifles was a good strategy wouldn’t the military adopt it?

I’m not sure I would advertise owning a gun – why become a target for someone who wants one? Theft occurs when people are out for groceries – even in Covid times.

My dad owned and ran a very successful store, think a private Big Lots. He was told by the local police more than once that it was on the very top of the local criminals wish list, but none were stupid enough to rob it. Dad was a highly respected gun safety instructor, and he tacked up used bullseye targets with perfect shot spreads on them near the entrace doors. That’s how you protect yourself instead of bragging about guns you can’t use worth spit.

Good luck, guns and ammunition are both in very short supply

On April 18, 1775, Paul Revere, William Dawes, and others rode to warn the people “The British are Coming!” Why were the British coming? They were coming to arrest Samuel Adams and others and to SEIZE the GUNS AND AMMO stored.

April 19, 1775 we do not know who fired the first shot the the militia and the British faced off in a battle that tactically had little value when it was over but strategically was of significant importance at we know it in (uncanceled) history books as “The Shot heard Round the World.”

IE Gun Control was one of the major issues that started the fighting. The people would not be left defenseless against the govt. That is why the 2nd Amendment is there. The bill of Rights does not give anybody any rights but rather it specifies what the government cannot take away.

Reminds me of Alex Rodríguez’s contract, that he would be paid more than the highest payed Major League Baseball player. Made me wonder what would happen if more than one player had that clause in his contract.

There is a reason it is called M.A.D.

My neighbor has stockpiled toilet paper and paper towels. I have stockpiled ammunition. Nevertheless, I’m sure there’s an amicable resolution to any eventual imbalance.

Isn’t that our planet’s nuclear weapon strategy?

11,780 is a good number by Individual One’s account.

Get a tank …..

Unfortunately there are those complaining that political comments don’t belong in a non-political comic strip. Wakey-wakey! This is a political comment strip today.

Speaking for myself, after the mass shootings in El Paso & Ohio I took all my Guns on a 3 hour cruise and dumped them into 4,000 feet of water off the Cali coast.

Rat wins automatically by living with Guard Duck.

insert bad joke here