Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 19, 2020


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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 2 months ago

    Too bad, I haven’t heard a good Attila the Hun joke in months.

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    MatthewHecht  2 months ago

    I get this all the time with Lincoln jokes.

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    fretlessman71  2 months ago

    Not until they apologise to us for Franco-American.

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    BasilBruce  2 months ago

    Al Bundy, save us!

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    Ἑρμῆς ὁ Τρισμέγιστος, Premium Member 2 months ago

    What would that mean? That the Romans are all slackers or did they go to sleep so late that they haven’t awakened yet?

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    Caldonia  2 months ago

    You’re just bitter because no one likes your medieval history jokes.

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    Imagine  2 months ago

    Is this considered a romantic joke?

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    Robin Harwood  2 months ago

    I want to hear the punchline.

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    Kaputnik  2 months ago

    What about Hunnish-Americans? How long do they have to live with this bloodthirsty barbarian image?

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    LobosSolos Premium Member 2 months ago

    Nah, he didn’t kill all of them. He fathered children on a great many of them.

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    kaffekup   2 months ago

    Ok, how about, this Akkadian king conquered Assyria, and put all the men to death…

    Still too soon?

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    Randallw  2 months ago

    Who, cowboys! “Roman, Roman, Roman, keep them doggies Roman…”

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    Concretionist  2 months ago

    Is this about Italy’s Covid-19 resurgence? Or is it just Pastis trying to be funny?

    (He succeeds often enough that I still read this…)

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    Sanspareil  2 months ago

    Isn’t it Romantic?

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    Zykoic  2 months ago

    Ire ad infernum te rodent!

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    Imaginarium  2 months ago

    Hummmm ….. A PC Pig … Pig we hear they have a job opening up at the Butcher shop for you ;-) ….. ….Croc Power !

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    jpayne4040  2 months ago

    I can imagine being a comedian these days is much harder. Now you have to be funny without inadvertently offending someone! Doesn’t matter if it was not on purpose since society no longer forgives most “offenders”. A big thumbs up to all of those comedians who are still thriving in today’s climate!

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    rdav1248961 Premium Member 2 months ago

    If today is too soon, maybe tomorrow will be OK to tell this joke. Don’t leave us hanging, Stephan.

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    Ignatz Premium Member 2 months ago

    His feelings were hurt because nobody in Rome said, “Hi, Hun.”

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    EllisAmirRogersArcher  2 months ago

    Nowadays, you can’t even make a knock-knock joke.

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    Purple People Eater  2 months ago

    Since Latin was the language spoken in Rome, wouldn’t Roman Americans be Latinos?

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    colddonkey  2 months ago

    Doesn’t rat realize that Roman Lives Matter.

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    KEA  2 months ago


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    Keno21  2 months ago

    All humor is hate speech. Anyone who laughs, or even smiles, is being an insensitive bigot.

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    Happy Tinkerbelle Premium Member 2 months ago

    when in Rome, do like the Visigoths do

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    syzygy47  2 months ago

    Yeah. I know. And I have this terrific ‘a Neanderthal, a Cro-magnon and a mastodon walk into a bar’ joke that I get shamed into suppressing…

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    Zebrastripes  2 months ago


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    mistercatworks  2 months ago

    …and Huns. Don’t forget to apologize to Huns for invoking apt stereotypes.

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    zeexenon  2 months ago

    Tony Soprano explained it well. I know, this Kraut was happily married to one for 54 years (RIP). “Yes, dear, no dear, no excuse dear.”

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    mwksix  2 months ago

    Apologize to Roman Polanski?

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    Call me Ishmael  2 months ago

    You know the formula: three parts Gaul to one part Roman…

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    Spacetech  2 months ago

    From Portland or Kenosha

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    Grover St. Clair  2 months ago

    A Roman walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like a martinus.” “Don’t you mean martini?” “No, I only want one.”

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    MartinPerry1  2 months ago

    Hey, people are still fondly harbouring grudges over events that happened more than a couple thousand years ago. It’s only been 1500 years now for Attila.

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    NWdryad  2 months ago

    Maybe rat should go back to writing Danny Donkey stories.

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    DCBakerEsq  2 months ago

    Nicely put, Pastis.

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    javiercopi  2 months ago

    it’s like it’s too soon for tragedy to turn into comedy IMHO

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    Sisyphos  2 months ago

    It’s not often one gets to hear an Attila the Hun joke, and PC Pig has to interrupt before the punch line?!

    I’ll give you a punch line, Pig!

    (Not a Roman-American, but close enough to it.)

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    kf6rro  2 months ago

    Life is too short to always be looking for a reason to be offended.

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    dcy665  2 months ago

    Well, another failed pitch. One fondly remembers crocs.

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    aftml Premium Member 2 months ago

    What have the Romans ever done for us?

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    eComicsRGR8  2 months ago

    Thank you, Stephan.

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