Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 14, 2020

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Go to H&R Block

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    marilynnbyerly  about 1 year ago

    They’re due on Wednesday to you’d better hurry.

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    TEMPLO S.U.D.  about 1 year ago

    bummer, Pig

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    Fantasychamp14  about 1 year ago

    Luckily for me, I have official help with my taxes. They’ve done a pretty good job for the third or fourth year in a row.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Pig, try Shazam! If that doesn’t work, try “Ooly goolie woohoo”

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    B UTTONS  about 1 year ago

    Pig – You’re a middle class porcus. Strictly prohibited by Congress.

    Congress has reserved the slow tax and the self-preparing taxes for their 1% cronies. The 1% does not have time to spend preparing taxes when there’s Tesla, Ferrari, Bentley, Gucci, and other frivolous spending and political grift to be done.

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    abraxas  about 1 year ago

    You bring home the bacon and pay ’em in lard.

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    Sherlock Watson  about 1 year ago

    You’re confused, Pig; “Kablooey” is what taxes do to you, not what you do to them.

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    Concretionist  about 1 year ago

    Consumers Union (used to?) send made up tax information for an approximately average family of four with not very much complexity to each of the IRS zone offices, where they used to fill out the tax form “correctly”. During the time they did that, not even one time did the offices agree.

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    hariseldon59  about 1 year ago

    Maybe the Wizard of ID has a spell that might work.

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    aKG1  about 1 year ago

    The government already has all the information. Do it the easy way Pig. Fill out your name, address, and SSN. Sign the bottom. Attach your W2 and a signed blank check to the Treasury. Mail. ;-)

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    Gent  about 1 year ago

    I never knew pigs were taxed too.

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    Breadboard  about 1 year ago

    Christmas in July …….. For the IRS ! … Croc Power !

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    iggyman  about 1 year ago

    Death and Taxes, Pig!

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    Bilan  about 1 year ago

    Oh great. Thanks to Stephan, I can’t claim that I didn’t know the taxes were due now.

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 1 year ago

    It’s easy, just enter all zeros.

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    PleaseStay6PixelsAway  about 1 year ago

    I use the short income tax return: “What was your income? How soon can you return it?” (A shiny new dime to anyone who knows where that joke originated.)

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    Zebrastripes  about 1 year ago

    Poor PIG is so delusional…..Kazaaaaammmm!

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    robnvon Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Even Houdini had to do hide taxes.

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    jel354  about 1 year ago

    They do a magic trick: Making savings disappear.

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    zerotvus  about 1 year ago

    just say " I forgot"…….

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Filing is a breeze if you don’t itemize.

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    pheets  about 1 year ago

    H & R Block. Where the accountant that actually does your work gets 15 bucks an hour and the rest of your return (if you even get anything back) goes to advertising.

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    well-i-never  about 1 year ago

    Still waiting for that refund since March. (Yeah, I mailed paper forms.)

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    YippiKiAyMofo  about 1 year ago

    Tuck faxes!

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    Ralph Newbill  about 1 year ago

    Income tax is income theft.

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    tripwire45  about 1 year ago

    Get a tax person.

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    Whatcouldgowrong  about 1 year ago

    Gave up years ago and hired an accountant. Returns get filed, I get a reminder each quarter. Benefit-to-cost ratio is huge.

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    Markov Da Robot  about 1 year ago

    Try ‘Abracadabra’

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    rshive  about 1 year ago

    Pig needs a random number generator.

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    Reader  about 1 year ago

    Pig – the day that happens is the day pigs fly, so break into your piggy bank to feed the federal pork.

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    artheaded1  about 1 year ago

    I think “KABLOOEY” would blow the taxes up

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    Rotary12 Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Filed mine in March.

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    Ellis97  about 1 year ago

    You got that right.

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    Greyhame  about 1 year ago

    Somewhere I have a book of historical cartoons. The best has a fella looking at his pay stub with a calendar on the wall showing April 15, 1913.

    “This is terrible! It comes to 3% of my pay!”

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    redback  about 1 year ago

    seriously, whazam? kablooey? try acchio, maybe expecto patronum

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    The Orange Mailman  about 1 year ago

    Try some of these. Kudos if people know the origins of them.

    1- Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble

    2- Expecto Patronum

    3- Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho

    4- Frammin’ at the jim-jam, frippin’ in the krotz

    5- Abra abracadabra I wanna reach out and grab ya

    6- Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

    7- By the Eye of Agamotto

    8- I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor

    9- Open Sesame

    10- Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang

    11- Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee

    12- Kaplowey

    13- Epiwdnim

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    Purple People Eater  about 1 year ago

    I thought taxes were due in early in the year in the US. Was I mistaken, or are there different taxes due now?

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    Cerabooge  about 1 year ago

    The IRS could already fill out the tax forms for almost everyone, but that would be bad for the income tax preparers, so this stupid situation continues unabated.

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    Alpyne  about 1 year ago

    Go to I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s got all of the free online DIY tax services.

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    Ermine Notyours  about 1 year ago

    For a second, I thought Pig was reading Don Martin cartoons.

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    dragonbite  about 1 year ago

    IRS Questions, simplified:“How much money did you make?”“Send it to me.”

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    biltw24  about 1 year ago

    For God’s sake, where are the crocs??? That’s really the only time you’re funny any more.

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    WCraft Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Move to Illinois and the formula is simple: What ever you make, it all goes to the state government.

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    zeexenon  about 1 year ago

    I click my heels together and break lots of glass slippers.

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    timbob2313 Premium Member about 1 year ago
    had my CPA do my taxes the last week of Jan 2020, had my refund about 7 working days later
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    Troglodyte  about 1 year ago

    No use wondering why taxes are taxing, Pig!

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    knight1192a  about 1 year ago

    Kablooey? Kablooey to get taxes to magically do themselves? Shouldn’t kablooey make the taxes magically destroy themselves? Always associated kablooey with something being destroyed or badly ruined.

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    Obi-Haiv  about 1 year ago

    “Kablooey” is the sound my bank account makes right after I pay my taxes.

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    codedaddy  about 1 year ago

    Simplified 1040

    Latest revision for 1040 Federal Income Tax Form. Department of the Internal Revenue Service 07. 19_____.

    Your Social Security Number ________.

    Part 1: Income

    1. How much money did you make last year? ________

    2. Send it in ________

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    KevDoneIt  about 1 year ago

    That isn’t a joke and it ain’t funny.

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    Sisyphos  about 1 year ago

    Gotta have them done and postmarked before midnight tomorrow (15 July, this year’s extended deadline), Pig. I’d recommend you not get sucked into TV-viewing!

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    falcon_370f  about 1 year ago

    That’s why I did mine on the original schedule.

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    catchemall  about 1 year ago

    This is why I use online accounting with links to my bank accounts. All I have to do for taxes is tick off transactions to make sure the AI filed them correctly and the figures are done for me. It takes maybe 2 hours a year, including time to sort weird blips.

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    Tallguy  about 1 year ago

    Did that many people really not do their taxes back in March?

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    haueraz  about 1 year ago

    I put mine in a drawer for an extra 3 months and when I pulled them out they were still undone. Sigh…..

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