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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 29, 2020

158 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 2 months ago

    In all my years in NYC, I’ve never eaten at Applebee’s. I’ve drank there, but I’ve never eaten there.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 2 months ago

    I think Pig represents a certain type of traveler.

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    Orcatime  2 months ago

    I recently moved to a new state and I mainly go to places that I’m familiar with from where I moved from. It’s a process.

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    Strawberry Hellcat: Gair I gall, ffon I’r anghall Premium Member 2 months ago

    If he eats at all those Applebee’s (or even a few), he WILL be broken inside.

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    DeeCee1  2 months ago

    Sigh – unabashed product placement.

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    B UTTONS  2 months ago

    Pig will visit the various establishments and try their pork ribs

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    Concretionist  2 months ago

    I remember my mother (in the 1950s and 60s) commenting about how much she appreciated the national chain restaurants when we traveled. Because as she said “They are so reliably mediocre!”. Of course we were traveling to visit something, some place, or someone of interest, not for the sake of the reliably mediocre food.

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    macky87  2 months ago

    I must be the only one who was trying to figure out how the 3rd panel could be a pun that I didn’t understand. Then it dawned on me that it was real dialog. Duh!

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  9. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  2 months ago

    Pig’s plan might be more rewarding if he went to other countries. According to “Pulp Fiction”, you can order a beer at any McDonald’s in Paris, to wash down your Royale with Cheese.

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  10. Airhornmissc
    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member 2 months ago

    Visiting all those franchises is a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. Why not Pig? Have him write a report on his experiences.

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    kaffekup   2 months ago

    I just love Rat’s remark!

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    gopher gofer  2 months ago

    pig would get on well with the dinette set crowd…

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    A Common 'tater  2 months ago

    From the comments I’m guessing that Applebees is some kind of restaurant franchise… Are we fortunate or unfortunate never to have experienced them in Europe…

    I remember October 1974, the first McDonald’s opening in London. My American girlfriend, at the time, was suitably impressed…

    Only a quick glance at the final panel, realising Stephan was not featured, I expected it NOT to be a pun…

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  14. Nobozos
    Otto Knowbetter  2 months ago

    I was in NYC once during The Festival Of Odors.

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    tonypezzano  2 months ago

    Wherever I travel I take a photos of Starbucks, send them to a friend and tell her I am not going in as I am searching for the perfect espresso.

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    EcurbYkspohs  2 months ago

    Pig you will need a 2020 tour shirt made up of all the cities you visit. POW (Pig On Wheels) on the front and the City with date on the back ;-) … Croc Power !

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  17. I yam who i yam
    Kind&Kinder  2 months ago

    Pig is a piggy bank someone has broken into and emptied!

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    Chithing Premium Member 2 months ago

    The benefits of a homogeneous culture. And we export that crap all over the world.

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    Troglodyte  2 months ago

    When you get to Riverdale, check out Weatherbee, Pig.

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    blunebottle  2 months ago

    This idea isn’t so original…in Canada, people do the tour of Tim Horton’s!

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    Ignatz Premium Member 2 months ago

    I actually get slightly angry whenever I see the Applebee’s near Times Square. At least the one in Harlem shut down.

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    carlosrivers  2 months ago

    So, now he’s got a plan…

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    tripwire45  2 months ago

    Applebee’s in the Big Apple?

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    Kaputnik  2 months ago

    I thought this was going to be a pun setup for a moment.

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    skirchner  2 months ago

    I don’t get it…

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    Zebrastripes  2 months ago

    PIG needs guidance…he’s so lost…..wheres Pigita when he needs her….

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 2 months ago

    Actually, Pig can have New York. Outside of the Theater district, there’s nothing there that I am interested in seeing again. Been there, done that… New Year’s in Times Square 3 times, been to the top of the State of Liberty and the Twin Towers, … I’ll leave it to others from now on.

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    nosirrom  2 months ago

    When Pig gets back from his Applebee’s tour the gang will give him a Chili’s reception.

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    lv2sew  2 months ago

    When my bro, wife and nephew came to visit us here in the midwest from California, the nephew made a comment that there’s a Waffle House in every town out here. I frankly had never noticed, but now it’s a bit of a joke- I go looking for the Waffle House in every town. And the Dollar General. And the Walgreen’s. Homogeneous midwest towns.

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    Sportymonk  2 months ago

    This is why when I go somewhere, I try my best not to eat at chain places. I try to find the mom and pop places that offer something different and have that something special.

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    RobinHood  2 months ago

    Some folks like to get away

    Take a holiday from the neighborhood

    Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood

    I’ll take a Greyhound to Applenees everytime

    I’m in a spare ribs state of mind

    Apoligies to Billy Joel

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  32. Pirate63
    Linguist  2 months ago

    There was a time when my job took me back and forth from New York to various European cities on average of once or twice a week. Friends used to say they envied me for being able to visit all those wonderful cities – London, Rome, Amsterdam, Paris etc. The truth was that usually, all I saw was the inside of a hotel. My sightseeing was done from the taxi going back and forth from the airport.

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    hariseldon59  2 months ago

    I was sure there’d be a joke in there about the Big Apple.

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    rawalko  2 months ago

    Traveled with a friend to LA and spent a day on Venice Beach. At lunchtime, we had to pass by all the funky little restaurants and find a Burger King because he said “I want to know what I’m getting!” Better the dreck you know than rolling the dice, I suppose.

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    Cozmik Cowboy  2 months ago

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the 3 worst things that ever happened to the US are McDonald’s, WalMart, and the Interstate Highway System.

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    car2ner  2 months ago

    then there is the couple who’s bucket list included eating at every Cracker Barrelhttps://www.tennessean.com/story/life/2017/08/27/couples-remarkable-quest-eat-every-cracker-barrel-country-just-one-left/548923001/

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    PoodleGroomer  2 months ago

    An outstandingly phenomenal restaurant doesn’t have enough memorable segments for a story as a truly bad restaurant.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 2 months ago

    What, no NY pizza??? Pig, really missed out

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    EllisAmirRogersArcher  2 months ago

    I’d never go to a chain restaurant in New York City. I always go to authentic places.

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    Call me Ishmael  2 months ago

    I always saw my retirement agenda as owning a Florida double-wide. “Snowbirding” in October, down I-95 in a Mercury Grand Marquis, wearing a Members Only zipper jacket, Hush Puppies, and a “sports-car cap”, stopping at a Cracker Barrel every evening for Catfish. “La Vita e Bella” !

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    DCBakerEsq  2 months ago

    As a kid, I had a map that showed the location of every McDonalds in America. Drove my parents bonkers. And, no, I wasn’t born in 1896.

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    Ermine Notyours  2 months ago

    Sort of like the tourists who go to Japan only to go to the Disneyland there.

    One memorable time I went to Applebees was when I was walking and listening to the last quarter of a Seahawks game on the radio a few years ago. They lost the game and their postseason was over, and I saw dozens of sad fans storm out of Applebees all at once. I had the place to myself.

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    Jethro Flatline Premium Member 2 months ago

    Everytime I come back from traveling overseas I like to tell people: “Yeah I had some McDonalds and waited in traffic a lot and watched a lot of TV.” Of course, all of that is true.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 2 months ago

    This reminds me of an old Trucker’s joke:“Q: How do you know when you are in a really remote part of the country?” A: “It takes you over 30 minutes to drive to a Mall-Wart!”

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  45. Swallowed a hockey stick
    Ceeg22 Premium Member 2 months ago

    I avoid Applebees. I avoid chain restaurants …

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  46. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  2 months ago

    Applebees?! No way. If IHOP, OK.

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    willie_mctell  2 months ago

    Accidental Tourist

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    eladee  2 months ago

    We loved Shoney’s when I was a kid. Great strawberry pie or Chocolate Fudge Cake. It was the height of “going out” with my family. Pretty fancy. Either that or several of the drive inns or little hole in the wall cafes we had in our town.

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  49. Hellcat
    knight1192a  2 months ago

    Unfortunately there are folks exactly like Pig. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things to see and do in each state and all they want to do is visit a chain resturant.

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member 2 months ago

    The United Nations should be first stop for anyone sightseeing in NYC.

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    WCraft Premium Member 2 months ago

    And they had this amazing new menu item called “Riblets!”

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    Jayneknox  2 months ago

    Pig is probably like 9-year-old-me after I’d gone to a diner on a class trip to Florida. When I got back I gushed to my parents about the “gourmet food” I’d had- an amazing soup with tiny hamburgers in it, and a layered pastry with fruit and fancy squiggly frosting.

    In hindsight, I think kt was Chunky Sirloin Burger and one of those danishes like you see in vending machines. And I think Pig’s capable of finding his Applebees just as magical.

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  53. Thinker
    Sisyphos  2 months ago

    Can’t speak to Applebees—never set foot in one. But in the European capital city I used to visit regularly (you can probably guess which), the menu at the big central McDonald’s was the same as in the US: no concessions whatever to local tastes or preference. For those, you had to go a few doors down.

    Pig is just being his timid, non-adventurous self….

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    wesleylscott1  2 months ago

    I remember my coworker and I went into a Ruby Tuesday near St. Louis MO. When we got seated, the Stones came over the intercom performing “Ruby Tuesday”, and we started singing along. Soon, nearly everyone in the restaurant joined in.

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  55. Dragon
    Asharah  2 months ago

    Mom and I once ate at the Hard Rock Cafe in Canada. We’d been sightseeing all morning and were just looking for a place to eat lunch.

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    Future Reuben Recipient  about 1 month ago

    Usually when I travel to the USA (I live in southern Canada) I go to Grand Forks, eat, shop, swim, sleep, and leave. It takes a grand total of 8 hours to drive there, 8 hours to drive back, and including sleeping at night, i spend a whole 11 hours there.

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