Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 24, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 5 years ago

    My favorite is how they describe the house being in the “area” of a good neighborhood but it’s actually half-mile away from the place mentioned.

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    juncarlo  almost 5 years ago

    A facet I didn’t know about Rat, I knew he’s sarcastic but I did not imagine that he knew how to program an app.

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    B UTTONS  almost 5 years ago

    Rat must have also programmed Google Translate?

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    Robin Harwood  almost 5 years ago

    Sometime very early in the twentieth century, the British magazine “Punch” had a cartoon of real estate agent telling a client “And it’s only ten minutes from the station. why, our Mr Speedwell can do it in five” Mr Speedwell, just behind him, was a tall athletic young man in running shorts.

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    blunebottle  almost 5 years ago

    Truth in advertising!

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    Gent  almost 5 years ago

    What I need is an app that hurls expletives excessively at spam callers.

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    Breadboard  almost 5 years ago

    But Rat is it your money or OPM ? …… Croc Power !

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    Masterskrain  almost 5 years ago

    Actually “Charming little fixer-upper…” REALLY means “Bring 5 gallons of gasoline, and a match…”

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    chris_weaver  almost 5 years ago

    ‘Cozy’ = size of dumpster.

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    johndifool  almost 5 years ago

    AKA “The Money Pit”…

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    Troglodyte  almost 5 years ago

    “Charming” is a dead giveaway!

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    Zebrastripes  almost 5 years ago

    Catch phrases to get one’s attention and curiosity ……read between the lines….

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    nosirrom  almost 5 years ago

    Is there anyone out there that believes the a house is in move in condition?

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    ellisaana Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Don’t forget the deceptive online photos. Our neighbor’s house listing included pictures of a “neighborhood lake” with wording that implied kids could bike to it – a pay-to-enter park which was 6 mile away by highway and in a different county. 6 miles in our traffic is a 15 to 20 minute drive.

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    tripwire45  almost 5 years ago

    Almost every real estate agent I’ve worked with has lied to me.

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    skipper1992  almost 5 years ago

    Speaking as someone with 16 years experience in the real-estate industry, I am about to share the hell out of this.

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    david_42  almost 5 years ago

    Got an extreme “fixer” eight years ago at a foreclosure sale, $150K. Eight years and $80K later, we have a $470K home.

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    JohnHarry Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Just bought a new house, did we ?

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    gigagrouch  almost 5 years ago


    and this:

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    PoodleGroomer  almost 5 years ago

    That cozy fixer has land under it. Put a McMansion on it, take the money, and run.

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    jonesbeltone  almost 5 years ago

    Gotta love it.

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    zeexenon  almost 5 years ago

    My eyes are up here.

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    Bookworm  almost 5 years ago

    Fixer-upper = Tear-it-downer.

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    JustMe  almost 5 years ago

    charming = small; little = REALLY small; fixer upper = you’ll drain your savings fixing basic necessities to make it livable

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    Concretionist  almost 5 years ago

    Charming: Architect was insane

    Cute: Small

    Compact: Tiny

    Country Estate: Dead truck in the yard

    Fixer Upper: Roof leaks, plumbing leaks, kitchen counters made of linoleum.

    Ready to move in: If you’re a rat

    Friendly neighborhood: True if you are willing to “lend” your tools

    Well maintained: It has recently been painted. Orange.

    Large yard: So many weeds you can’t see the fence line

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  almost 5 years ago

    Real estate agents are no more than upscale used car salesmen/women.

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    Sisyphos  almost 5 years ago

    Yeah, Rat; but sometimes “You can’t handle the Truth!”

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    WCraft Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Come up with one for Illinois voters so they can understand what the politicians are really promising when they campaign. (Hint: The answer is always “More Taxes.”)

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    eladee AKA Wally  almost 5 years ago

    Loaded with charm—-old and in need of serious repair.

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