Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 3 years ago

    Please, make sure the scone is gluten-free.

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    juncarlo  almost 3 years ago

    I still think that trying to be politically correct in everything can turn out to be stupid and if what Pastis describes in this strip is true, that would confirm.

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    oldpine52  almost 3 years ago

    Not only is truth stranger than fiction, it’s also stupider.

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    weatherford.joe Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    I remember when that story broke. I think everyone’s reaction was similar to Rat’s.

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    B UTTONS  almost 3 years ago

    P.E.T.A. is also demanding more bird-seed income level housing. Otherwise, they will send the trained the pigeons to white wash the politicians and social advocates’ cars.

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    PICTO  almost 3 years ago

    I’ve seen the way cats treat people…where’s the ethics in that?

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    deojaideep aka Courage  almost 3 years ago

    insult to injury

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    Johnny Q Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Sort of like the term “herstory” is real…

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    JasonBall  almost 3 years ago

    I like the juxtaposition of Rat popping into Pastis’ office, then walking back. It’s different.

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    Tue Elung-Jensen  almost 3 years ago

    Isn´t that an old one? Also seen plenty insane stuff from P.I.T.A.

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    Zykoic  almost 3 years ago

    Save The Scones.

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    Ksandler4570  almost 3 years ago

    PETA are also the idiots who got upset from a Jurassic Park photo with a dead triceratops #noselfawareness

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    socalvillaguy Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Really? THIS causes outrage? You’d think this was as important an issue as a green vs. pink dress or something. *rolls eyes*

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    The Old Wolf  almost 3 years ago

    *P*eople *E*ating *T*asty *A*nimals: That’s the PETA that I support. There’s room for all of God’s creatures in this world… right next to the potatoes and gravy.

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    some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    PETA have mastered the art of trolling. It’s the cheapest form of increasing brand awareness there is.

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    KevDoneIt  almost 3 years ago

    Maybe P.E.T.A. should try to get rid of all the windmill generators. They are killing more birds, really, than a few words will ever kill.

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    silverking1953  almost 3 years ago

    Two stoned birds with one weed?

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    Plumbob Wilson  almost 3 years ago

    Wonder what they do with “beating a dead horse”.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    I remember when they wanted Fishkill NY to change its name.

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    tzid  almost 3 years ago


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    zerotvus  almost 3 years ago

    PETA..people eating tasty animals..

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    Nuliajuk  almost 3 years ago

    Didn’t we already see this one?

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    Breadboard  almost 3 years ago

    Think like a Croc ….. Croc Power !

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    Sakura Tomoe  almost 3 years ago

    Luckily nobody ever listens to anything PETA has to say. Unless it’s my favorite PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals.

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    James Wolfenstein  almost 3 years ago

    we should put an end to peta and “kill two birds with one stone” :D

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    Ignatz Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    While it is real (I think it was a couple of years ago), I’m pleased about the fact that the proposal has received nothing but mockery from pretty much everyone.

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    Ignatz Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    And don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

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    Mr. Organization  almost 3 years ago

    I had to Google this to see if the proposed change was real, and it is. I understand what PETA is trying to accomplish, but its methods are undermining its efforts to do so.

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    mjb515  almost 3 years ago

    What if you feed the birds the Scone of Stone?

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    beegwoop  almost 3 years ago

    All the animals kill each other, so isn’t us killing them just the food chain? Or is it somehow different for humans.

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Scones are hardly a wholesome food source for birds. Shame on you, PETA, for suggesting so.

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    Masterskrain  almost 3 years ago

    Maybe they should try something like “Better bread then dead” and see how that goes over….

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    aerotica69  almost 3 years ago

    I ask myself that same question every day.

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    Joseph Shelby Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Mind you, biologists are now openly saying that feeding bread to birds in your local parks is a really bad idea.

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    tripwire45  almost 3 years ago


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    the_man_in_the_moon  almost 3 years ago

    Tom Lehrer:“All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoonWhen we’re poisoning pigeons in the parkEvery Sunday you’ll see my sweetheart and meAs we poison the pigeons in the park”

    One of my favourite songs.

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    Purple People Eater  almost 3 years ago

    I didn’t believe this at first, so I googled it. This really is true, and some of PETA’s suggestions are… let’s call them “ridiculous”, although that’s not nearly a strong enough word.

    Also, vegans and vegetarians sometimes say “I don’t eat my friends”, because they like animals (I like animals too, especially with grilled or deep-fried). I’m a horticulturalist, so I’d like to ask: What does PETA have against plants? Why is peeling a potato less violent than skinning a cat? I’m sure the potato would disagree.

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    wrd2255  almost 3 years ago

    With every statement like these, the Right has an orgasm and picks up 10,000 voters. PETA, You’re. Not. Helping.

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    mail2jbl  almost 3 years ago

    I’ll tell you what’s happening, Rat – we’re letting militant left-wingers bully us into submitting to their agenda of political correctness.

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    lamunyon  almost 3 years ago

    Funny, which shows that it is getting harder to tell what is parody and what is real:

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    VICTOR PROULX  almost 3 years ago

    Pastis got a joke in, and demonstrated how messed up the world is. Two birds with one stone.

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    realexander  almost 3 years ago

    But isn’t it unhealthy to feed birds ultra-processed foods?

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    Steve Dutch  almost 3 years ago

    Frankly, stones taste better and are less dry.

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    rugeirn  almost 3 years ago

    What do you do with a moral stance that can’t tell the difference between torturing an animal and a turn of phrase? Ignore it. It’s not worth your time.

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    Mentor397  almost 3 years ago

    #* Peta. They’re more interested in annoying people than getting people on their side.

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    NORTHIDAHO  almost 3 years ago

    Are scones even good for birds ?

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    J Quest  almost 3 years ago

    Normally PBS tries to serve two puns with one groan…

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    Ignatz Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    I believe that most vegetarians have no use for PETA. Horrible organization.

    I oppose “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” because I actually favor the ethical treatment of animals.

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    darcyandsimon  almost 3 years ago

    OMG, it IS for real! Sigh…

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    JudyAz  almost 3 years ago

    Let that scone sit for a few days and you can still kill two birds with it.

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    Bookworm  almost 3 years ago

    Let him who is without stone cast the first scone.

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    Cerabooge  almost 3 years ago

    Wow. Such extreme (and often hateful) reactions to a mild suggestion. I kinda like the phrase. The original phrase is ridiculously out of date, anyway; how many people have any idea how to use a sling? Even the slingshot is rare, now, and as for simply throwing the stone, I’ve never been accurate enough to hit one bird with two dozen stones.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Tell P.E.T.A. to shove it where the sun don’t shine

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    Zebrastripes  almost 3 years ago

    PETA schmeta, you cant go around and tell people what to say or not say….they have lost their true mission….

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    Spiny Norman Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    How does PETA feel about animals eating animals?

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    DCBakerEsq  almost 3 years ago

    A bird in the hand should be let free to fly away. And, poop on your car.

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    ItaliaNicholas  almost 3 years ago

    What is happening?

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    zeexenon  almost 3 years ago

    Why? We have way too much goose poop to track in now. Imagine adding ostrich poop. J. J. Audubon shot 1,000s of birds then drew them The Audubon Society bought and destroyed our WI Goose Pond after many years of our hunts there. Last visit zero geese and ducks. So sad!

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    Smokie  almost 3 years ago

    I am a hunter that likes birds. Fried, baked, grilled. In sauce or gravy. One stone to kill 2? Sounds like a good hunting day to me. I did not get to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables only.

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    MS72  almost 3 years ago

    Please do not give that org. any more publicity.

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    WCraft Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    I’m not sure what the heck is safe to say anymore! (Is “heck” OK?)

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    COL Crash  almost 3 years ago

    We keep letting those fringe fanatics take the lead in the discussions.

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    rbmumsie  almost 3 years ago

    Woohoo!!! Congrats on winning the 2019 Reuben!!!

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    Stargazer1950  almost 3 years ago

    Congratulations, Stephan, winner of the 2019 Reuben Award!!!!

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    Free the pigs!  almost 3 years ago

    Rat rage 2019

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    Snoots  almost 3 years ago

    One has to admit, this being real, PETA is being incredibly stupid. Humans or no humans, animals die every day. They are eaten by other animals. Get a clue PETA.

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    Back to Big Mike  almost 3 years ago

    F@@k PETA, and the horse they wouldn’t ride on, because it would be cruel, or something like that.

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    ralph.barone  almost 3 years ago

    But then again, they say not to feed bread to ducks because it kills them, so we’re right back where we started from…

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    comics001  almost 3 years ago

    Goat reads strange newspapers. This “news” is half a year old.

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    hitek1st  almost 3 years ago

    Sure think there could have been a ‘gator tie in here somewhere. Miss those ’gators when they’re not around.

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    TwilightFaze  almost 3 years ago

    Hey PETA: I work from home and get paid to effectively eat pizza in my underwear while binge-watching Netflix. I KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE that way!! Don’t like that I said it? Cry me a river and tell me what a bad person I am. See if that changes my mind.

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    Free the pigs!  almost 3 years ago

    Rat is the swear king.

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    poopsypoo Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    OMG, Pastis, you’re one up on Rat!!!

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    comicsboi Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Wait, so is the scone poisoned so as to get the same effect?

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    Sisyphos  almost 3 years ago

    It appears that some PETA-loving Comic Censor Guy didn’t like the post I made hours ago and deep-sixed it, so I’ll just say Rat is right and so is his alter ego, Cartoon-Boy….

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    Cypherion  almost 3 years ago

    Lets make a deal

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    Chris Sherlock  almost 3 years ago

    If everybody suddenly became vegetarian/vegan, wouldn’t that lead to overpopulation of the animal kingdom?

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    Bullet Bronson Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    A few years ago PETA wanted the Green Bay Packers (they were first sponsored by a meat packing company) to change their name to the Green Bay Pickers, as in fruit pickers, as in nearby Door County apple and cherry pickers, as in…THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE!

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    Concretionist  almost 3 years ago

    Peta is is a farce, imo. I get what they’re about, but if goddess hadn’t wanted us to eat meat it wouldn’t taste good! (Yeah, candy… and scones… taste good too, but they were invented by humans). Be vegan if you wish, but leave me alone about my burger!

    Every scone is (too) high in “simple” carbs (white flour, sugar, raisins…) and too low in the things that birds really need in their crops (seeds, bugs). We feed them seeds for sustenance and suet for a treat (and for the wood peckers et al who don’t really eat seeds)

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    paullp Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Googled it to confirm it is true. And while I consider myself to be very progressive and forward-thinking, for the first time since I’ve been reading this strip I agree with Rat.

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    jonesbeltone  almost 3 years ago

    Sorry, but Rat, get the bat again.

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    El Cobbo Grande  almost 3 years ago

    Everybody gets one so no one is left out

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    RedPandaFan  almost 3 years ago

    Isn’t starch unhealthy for birds?

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    rjgray9  almost 3 years ago

    Leave no Scone unturned.

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    Love2laugh  almost 3 years ago

    I’ve heard that saying before Ha ha ah… Feed two birds with one scone.I like that.

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    PBS1!  about 1 year ago

    This is the parody inversion point Dogbert spoke of!

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    dpflyer1  about 1 year ago

    Leftism/commie/fascists are what’s happening. Mental disorders on a mass scale.

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    Boxo croco is gonna change his profile  11 months ago

    How about “bean 2 Peta supporters with one stone”

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    Sooploosh  4 months ago

    my neighbor’s cockatiel wasn’t very offended by the phrase, because birds are an entire class of animals, and that would be like saying “Killing two mammals with one stone”, what are the odds you’ll be that mammal. he doesn’t talk. I just guessed.

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