Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 06, 2019


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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Don’t worry, Pig. It’s Sunday.

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    B UTTONS  over 2 years ago

    Alarm clocks are overrated. Most folks can wake up without one.

    Only folks who deliberately screw up their sleep cycles need them, but they’re bound to croak from a heart attack anyway.

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    willispate  over 2 years ago

    he must’ve been taking lessons from Garfield.

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    TEMPLO S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    after pulverizing the talking alarm clock to smithereens, Pig is in heaven

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Seems my everyday battle at 3:30 AM , and this happen since 1977 .

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    Bilan  over 2 years ago

    Nothing worse than an alarm clock that gives common sense advice at six in the morning.

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    DarthDurinsBANEling  over 2 years ago

    Ignorance is bliss… unless someone else is the ignorant one. Then you hate it more than anything else.

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    sirbadger  over 2 years ago

    Pig doesn’t care about food?

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Merry Christmas to all my Orthodox friends, especially the members of the newly born Ukrainian Orthodox Church. And Happy Twelve days of Christmas.

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    Yakety Sax  over 2 years ago


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    kaffekup   over 2 years ago

    Sure you’re going to Heaven, Pig?

    The other place is probably 24/7 alarm clocks.

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    Anathema Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Since when did they program AI into alarm clocks? Anyway, it’s nothing to get wound up about.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 2 years ago

    My “alarm clock” scratches at the door to be let out.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Reminds me a funny thing I overheard; “My alarm goes off every morning at 6, like clockwork.”

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    Breadboard  over 2 years ago

    Pig try the Larry Croc School of sleeping ;-)

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    Kaputnik  over 2 years ago

    Actually, good alarm clocks do go to Heaven, but alarm clock Heaven is human Hell.

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    syzygy47  over 2 years ago

    Odds are there are no alarm clocks in heaven. The ‘other place’, probably ‘circles’ (as per Dante’s Inferno) where there’s acres.

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    PICTO  over 2 years ago

    The amount of sleep the average person needs is just ten minutes more…

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    SquawkTron  over 2 years ago

    The alarm clock has really ticked him off.

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    chris_weaver  over 2 years ago

    That alarm clock was too smart for its own good!

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    dwane.scoty1  over 2 years ago

    Save time for us, Pig, & donate your Bod to the Smithfield or Dietz-Watson Research Funds!

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Not many people use alarm clocks to wake up anymore. Most use the alarm clock on their smartphone to wake up. Myself included

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    MayCauseBurns  over 2 years ago

    Best alarm clock: coffee pot on a timer.

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    garcoa  over 2 years ago

    If the alarm clock called me “fatty”, I would pulverize it immediately. But then I would not be able to get back to sleep.

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    BiathlonNut  over 2 years ago

    What’s time to a pig?

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    kunddog  over 2 years ago

    only needed the alarm clock when I was oncall. You could work half the night but still needed to be in at 8 am.

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    johndifool  over 2 years ago

    There are some models designed to be thrown against the wall to shut them off.

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    Purple People Eater  over 2 years ago

    If I go to sleep when I’m tired (around 2AM) and wake up without an alarm clock, I sleep for about 10 hours.

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    WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I’m afraid too many people identify with that cartoon strip…

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    thelost wizard  over 2 years ago

    It sounds like he destroyed Alexa.

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    petermerck  over 2 years ago

    Pig doesn’t know about silicon heaven, where all the toasters and radios go when they die.

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    eddi_tbh  over 2 years ago


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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I got you, babe

    I got you, babe … ♪♪

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    knight1192a  over 2 years ago

    Is that alarm clock related to Garfield’s talking scale?

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    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    Who dare criticize Pig today? He has seized the moment and found a reasonable solution to the Problem of Life and Alarm Clocks….

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    b r u h  over 2 years ago


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    cmforzetting  over 2 years ago

    The “Insultamatic 3000” AI-driven alarm clock was not as big a seller as ACME anticipated…

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    Darkknight55  6 months ago

    Where does Pig even work?

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