Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 13, 2018


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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 5 months ago

    Offer to trade a…. and a bottle of whisky for the gun.

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    alaskajohn1  5 months ago

    I assume he is dying of lung cancer.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 5 months ago

    Good for you, OMJ. Now you can die from smoking in bed.

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    Dirty Dragon  5 months ago

    Wackos with guns and explosives in their own home, and the intent to use them?

    Somehow, the humor escapes me here.

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    odd90745  5 months ago

    Mr. Johnson must of known Guard Duck.

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    Bilan  5 months ago

    I don’t suppose we can take out an insurance policy on a cartoon character?

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    knight1192a  5 months ago

    The firepower is to keep his kids from putting him in a nursing home.

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    sirbadger  5 months ago

    If he is planning to eat bacon before he dies, pig might want to leave.

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    oldpine52  5 months ago

    ‘Rage, rage against the coming of the night.’

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    B UTTONS  5 months ago

    Old man Johnson: a devote NRA member

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    AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member 5 months ago

    Guard Duck is going to want those grenades back, if they aren’t used at the end.

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    Kyle of Lochalsh  5 months ago

    Well at least he decided to go out with a bang!!

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    chris_weaver  5 months ago

    Okay, Grim Reaper, come at me, bro!

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    SquawkTron  5 months ago

    Would be best to sleep outside for the night, Pig.

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    blunebottle  5 months ago

    This is actually very sad, when you think about it. Especially as it was just Veteran’s Day, it struck me as a portrayal of a vet with PTSD, who’s fed up with his medical condition and is choosing to give up on life.

    Can’t find any humour in this one.

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    PICTO  5 months ago

    I would like to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and crying like the passengers in the car he was driving.

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    enigmamz  5 months ago

    He’s ready to take on the Death Panels!

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    thelost wizard  5 months ago

    The options are blow yourself up or burn the house down.

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    Radish Premium Member 5 months ago

    Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


    Dylan Thomas (whoever he was)

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    tripwire45  5 months ago

    Pretty sure you can’t shoot or blow up death.

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    mdherring65  5 months ago

    Call in the Guard Duck!

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    EcurbYkspohs  5 months ago

    Pig with the look on Mr Johnson’s face he is no where near ready to go. Being that Veteran’s day was just yesterday this arch was poorly timed :-(

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    FassEddie  5 months ago

    He’s got one of them rifles with the foldable stock.

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    hariseldon59  5 months ago

    Looks like a human version of Guard Duck, especially with the helmet.

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    bartman666  5 months ago

    gun powder allergies

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    Jon Schutter  5 months ago

    Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.

    Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.

    Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    -Dylan Thomas

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    jonesbeltone  5 months ago

    Need a fifth of whiskey to complete the portrait.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 5 months ago

    Yeah, time to leave, Pig

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    rshive  5 months ago

    Death’s not gonna creep up on him, anyway.

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    RobinHood  5 months ago

    .. And there is only one thing we say to death, “Not today”

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    The Handsome Raspberry  5 months ago

    Why is he wearing both pajamas and a war helmet? that confuses me

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    sailor956  5 months ago

    Needs a bottle of Whiskey.

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    DCBakerEsq  5 months ago

    Do not go gently into the night, but go out with a bang.

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    dadlivonia  5 months ago

    Dylan Thomas would be sooooo proud

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    Bruce1253  5 months ago

    Four common effects of smoking – Lung Cancer, COPD, Stroke, and in men, Bladder Cancer. Guess how they access the bladder to treat the cancer? Go ahead, light up another one. . . .

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    cmforzetting  5 months ago

    In one of Richard Pryor’s routines, he talked about John Wayne, and said, “John Wayne kicked Death’s ass TWICE!” Clearly, Old Man Johnson has been inspired.

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    skipper1992  5 months ago

    And well he shouldn’t. Make Death work for it.

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  5 months ago

    I came into this world screaming and kicking, I hope I go out the same way.

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    Sisyphos  5 months ago

    Attaboy, Old Man Johnson! Go out fighting! Make the Grim Reaper work for his trophy.

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    cdgar  5 months ago

    Call Guard Duck to subdue this guy.

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    cosman  5 months ago

    Don’t kno about y’all, but i’m gonna cheat Death, & get caught up in the Rapture !

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    Pogo Premium Member 5 months ago

    Dylan Thomas is vindicated!

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