Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 22, 2018

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 4 years ago

    But what if cruelty is predetermined?

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    knight1192a  almost 4 years ago

    100 pages seems extremely light considering all the religions that crop up every year now.

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    alaskajohn1  almost 4 years ago

    And loving.

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    willispate  almost 4 years ago

    to Pig, simplicity is key.

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  almost 4 years ago

    I hope “be kind” isn’t going to be written on each of the 100 pages.

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      almost 4 years ago

    Simple and to the point. Nicely done, Pig.

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    chris_weaver  almost 4 years ago

    The Gospel According to Pig.

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    Bilan  almost 4 years ago

    Unfortunately, some of the religions say Be kind, except for the <insert enemy’s name here> religion.

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    santa72404  almost 4 years ago

    Pig must be thinking of Bizarro World cause it’s not that way here.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Would that it were that simple.

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    amethyst52 Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    “That’ll do Pig.”

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    mr_sherman Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    How the universe was created: “Be.”

    Pig has the instruction for all sentient species.

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    x_Tech  almost 4 years ago

    Kill all the unbelievers.


    Which ones are the unbelievers?


    Don’t know. Kill them all, let (insert name of deity here) sort them out.

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    SusanSunshine Premium Member almost 4 years ago


    Actually, Pig is even further distilling a quote from the Dalai Lama…

    “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”


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    erik.vanthienen  almost 4 years ago

    “Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius” (‘Kill them all. Let God sort them out’) – allegedly said by Papal legate and Cistercian abbot Arnaud Amalric prior to the massacre at Béziers, during the Crusade against the Cathars.

    Also look up “Sack of Magdeburg”.

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    Yakety Sax  almost 4 years ago

    Respect, Accept, and COEXIST.

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    Breadboard  almost 4 years ago

    Wonder what Larry Croc would say ?

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    GeifuKe  almost 4 years ago

    Summary of religions— God spelled backwards is…. Thus, Dogma I is……

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    GeifuKe  almost 4 years ago

    Next thing for Pastis to do is a comic where all the words are backwards and telling the reader to use a mirror.

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    GeifuKe  almost 4 years ago

    Thus, this is the New Mother Nature taking over….

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    GeifuKe  almost 4 years ago

    Pig tells Goat “unword” backwards.

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Suspend your critical thinking.

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    dwane.scoty1  almost 4 years ago

    “Come! Gather around the Kumbaiya Solar panels & let us sing praises to Lord Kindness!”

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Religion is about power and money, god is just a front.

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    AtariDragon  almost 4 years ago

    This is roughly equivalent to summarizing all history as “the U.S.S. Maine”.

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  26. Whatever  almost 4 years ago

    Be kind to your kind. Kill the rest.

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    wrd2255  almost 4 years ago

    In reality most use a philosophy that’s better suited to a dog food ad. Let us sing hymn #45, “our God’s better than your God…”

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    jimchronister2016  almost 4 years ago

    Ditto! To all. I do my praying on the back porch

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    alison  almost 4 years ago


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    8ec23d5228da33aa2115003c92d0fe83  almost 4 years ago

    Joseph Stalin; religion is seen as retarding human development. Karl Marx; called it “the soul of soulless conditions”, the “opium of the people” that had been useful to the ruling classes since it gave the working classes false hope for millennia.

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    uniquename  almost 4 years ago

    Good luck preaching that. The last guy who tried got crucified.

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    Willywise52 Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    ALL religions are too wordy.

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    Ignatz Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Some form of the Golden Rule (“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”) appears in all the major religions.

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    smgray  almost 4 years ago

    Most religions follow the “us against them” school of thought.

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    Display  almost 4 years ago

    Most religions have very common threads about human decency and goodwill towards others, which are very much ignored by a very large number of “very religious” people. I’ll agree with Richard “Kinky” Friedman – “May the God of your choice bless you.”

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    beach004  almost 4 years ago

    “Be kind” is nice. But as CS Lewis wrote, what is required is not to be nice people, but new men. That takes a little more effort: just slightly more than anyone can do alone…

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    Plods with ...™ Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    “Do your best. Don’t be a dick.”

    -Russell Howard’s Dad

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    peteski1  almost 4 years ago

    George Carlin: “If the little old man who lives in the sky that I worship is different from the little old man who lives in the sky that you worship, there’s going to be trouble!”

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    Bruce1253  almost 4 years ago

    God is always there. You don’t need a fancy house, someone in a silly robe, or bells and smells to talk to her.

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    Yammo Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Hillel, a great Jewish scholar from ~100 BCE, was challenged by a non-Jew to explain the whole Torah to him while he stood on one foot. Hillel told him “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn”.So Pig, you’re in very good company!

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    DCBakerEsq  almost 4 years ago

    Not gonna happen.

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    AndrewSihler  almost 4 years ago

    It’s hard to beat Alfred Loisy summation: “Christ heralded the coming of a Celestial Kingdom. What arrived was the Church”.

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    RobinHood  almost 4 years ago

    Choose To Be Kind, it’s hard , but worth it..

    Imagine all the people, sharing all the world.

    John Lennon

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    patrickab7  almost 4 years ago

    No one pays attention to that part.

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    COL Crash  almost 4 years ago

    Since it is true that kindness to others is central to almost all religions it’s stupid that so many people want to kill each other over relatively minor differences of opinion.

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    enigmamz  almost 4 years ago

    “Give us money”

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Well said, Pig

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    grafdog  almost 4 years ago

    I think now would be a good time to quote a certain agnostic, Steve Turner:

    “Here is the creed for the modern thinker: We believe in Marx, Freud, and Darwin. We believe everything is ok, as long as you don’t hurt anyone, to the best of your definition of hurt, and to the best of your definition of knowledge. We believe in sex before during and after marriage. We believe in the therapy of sin. We believe that adultery is fun. We believe that Sodomy is ok. We believe that taboos are taboo. We believe that everything is getting better, despite evidence to the contrary. The evidence must be investigated, and you can prove anything with evidence. We believe there’s something in horoscopes, UFOs, and bent spoons. Jesus was a good man, just like Buda, Mohammed, and ourselves. He was a good moral teacher, although we think, basically, his good morals were really bad. [cut off]

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    grafdog  almost 4 years ago

    [continued] We believe that all religions are basically the same; at least the ones that we read were! They all believe in love and goodness; they only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation. We believe that after death comes nothing, because when you ask the dead what happens, they say nothing. If death is not the end and if the dead have lied, then it’s compulsory heaven for all except perhaps Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan. We believe in Masters and Johnson. What’s selected is average, what’s average is normal, and what’s normal is good. We believe in total disarmament. We believe there are direct links between war and bloodshed. We believe that man is essentially good, it’s only his behavior that lets him down. This is the fault of society, society is the fault of conditions, and conditions are the fault of society. We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him, and reality will adapt accordingly: the universe will readjust, history will alter. We believe that there is no absolute truth, except the truth that there is no absolute truth. We believe in the rejection of creeds and the flowering of individual thought.

    P.S. If Chance be the father of all flesh, Disaster is his rainbow in the sky. And when you hear: “State of emergency!” “Sniper kills ten!” “Troops on rampage!” “Youths go looting!” “Bomb blasts school!”, it is but the sound of man, worshiping his maker.

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    BubbleTape Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    that must be why in all religions’ histories that they have always been dominated by kindness to their own and others. The period of love and hugs referred to as the Spanish Inquisition comes to mind.

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    ravenoverthegreen  almost 4 years ago

    Kind? Religions? Hahahahaha. They are violent, cruel institutions and their gods are nasty.

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    gbars70  almost 4 years ago

    Something that is unfortunately absent from these and most other comment pages.

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    rowena28 Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Sorry, Stephan, Pig got it wrong. The correct summary is: “There’s a sucker born every day.”

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    PShaw0423  almost 4 years ago

    I would nuance that to “Be merciful.” But really, not bad at all. Truly too bad, though, that most people focus on the differences between the cultural details of their faith traditions, instead of their universal core values.

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    jbruins84341  almost 4 years ago

    Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog.

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    Iwa Iniki Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Try Christianity, not Religion. The first is true. The second is all messed up.

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    SukieCrandall Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Before followers pervert them most religions and their subsets DO begin this way. Perhaps the capacity to retain that goal over time in a given religion says a great deal more about the participants than the structure?

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    ADNERB Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    The 12th Doctor Who as he regenerates: “Never be cruel, never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish, love is always. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Laugh hard. Run fast. BE KIND!!” I think Pig is a Doctor Who fan!!

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    Cminuscomics&stories Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    Kill those who are not you. What has the cartoonist. been smoking?

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    fritzoid Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies – God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

    - Kurt Vonnegut

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    Sisyphos  almost 4 years ago

    Introducing Pig, this generation’s foremost philosopher-theologian! For most fanatics, that is.

    Cartoon-Boy preacher-man!

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    oakie817  almost 4 years ago


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    mahnster  almost 4 years ago

    Not all religions. From Christ who died for us and those who follow and trust in the salvation by grace: BE BORN AGAIN (John 3:3, 3:5, 3:7)

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    KenClark2  almost 4 years ago

    My summary of all the world’s religions: superstitious nonsense

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    Seeker149 Premium Member almost 4 years ago

    The basic tenets of any religion always strive to find light and truth for the evolution and maturation of humankind. Then people form sects to try to turn simple truths into a myriad of rules to micromanage one another. Finally opportunists worm their way into power and in pursuit of their selfish interests they will convince followers to commit any number of crimes against members of the same species that the religion was supposed to improve. Ironically, many “non-believers” pick up on the original vision and live enlightened lives without the taint of dogmatism. Even as a committed member of a prominent branch of Christianity, I often find myself agreeing with “heretics” whose beliefs tend toward a purer version of my faith than most of my fellow congregants could ever fathom.

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