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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2018

193 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 9 months ago

    Goat should have said it isn’t over until the plus size lady sings.

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    whataboytjiex2  9 months ago

    Pig, in your case I do believe the fat lady has sung!

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    Robin Harwood  9 months ago

    Why is it wrong to say that fat people are fat, and should be ashamed of it?

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    TEMPLO S.U.D.  9 months ago

    The word police must be doing a wonderful job when it comes to figures of speech.

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    Strawberry Hellcat: Gair I gall, ffon I’r anghall Premium Member 9 months ago

    How did the prosecutor miss the use of ain’t in the charges against goat? Many moons ago, English teachers raked students over the coals for using ain’t instead of isn’t!

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    Jesy Bertz  9 months ago

    According to the seal on the Judge’s bench, Goat was tried in the “Court of Public Opinion”. He should have demanded a change of venue. The “Court of Sports Cliches” would have been more appropriate and sympathetic to his case.

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    Z51 Premium Member 9 months ago

    Everybody gets offended, glad I’m old!

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    blunebottle  9 months ago

    I forget- who was the fat lady, by the way?

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    Johnny Q Premium Member 9 months ago

    The Word Police are a pretty easy satirical target…

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member 9 months ago

    Sure we have them. And we always will. They have their place. Just like Thought Police (along the lines of “You were thinking about having another drink.”) and Grammar Police. It hurts nothing. Discourse continues as it sees fit.

    Now, if you ask me “Do you always practice what you preach?” The answer is “Hell no.” I have called out a Grammar Cop or two.

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    x_Tech Premium Member 9 months ago

    They may be losing but are they down for real?

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    DonPoole  9 months ago

    I think “ain’t” is still “out.” Unfortunately “snuck” is still hanging around to turn my stomach.

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    SquawkTron  9 months ago

    The word police must make easy money doing their job.

    Count me in!

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    socalvillaguy Premium Member 9 months ago

    Stephan, you only need to worry about the cliché police…

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    mr_sherman Premium Member 9 months ago

    Pastis is into punography.

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    EcurbYkspohs  9 months ago

    Someday the only things you may say to each other will be “Hello” and “Goodbye”…….

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    JackButler1  9 months ago

    Double-plus ungood bellyfeel. Stet rerite 10/2.

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    Brass Orchid Premium Member 9 months ago

    Making the world a better place, one authoritarian executive over-reach at a time.

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    Jimmy90403  9 months ago

    Yogi also reminded us that when you come to a fork in the road, take it.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 9 months ago

    That’s beyond ridiculous

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    F-Flash  9 months ago

    Mama Cass ?

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    old crony Premium Member 9 months ago

    Humor approved by the word police ain’t funny no more.

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    tom.amitai  9 months ago

    So disappointed to see you perpetuating this tired right-wing trope.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 9 months ago

    Pastis is to “Political Correctness” as Mel Brooks is to Hitler. I.E. Make it such a target of ridicule and humor that NO ONE can take it seriously, and want to follow it ever again.

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    ralphcramden  9 months ago

    This would be funny if it wasn’t true……

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    fjames01  9 months ago

    I love the court insignia. Should add “Court of Social Media” too. (Yes, it may be a tad redundant)

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    dave stoops  9 months ago

    sheila jackson lee

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    diverleo  9 months ago

    Well done Mr. Pastis.

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    johnmartin1671  9 months ago

    The problem is that in this PC world we live in, “It ain’t over ‘til the plus-sized individual, currently identifying as a female, sings” just doesn’t roll off the tongu.

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    rjgray9  9 months ago

    All is well that Orwells

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    thelost wizard  9 months ago

    The prosecution seems to be off base (no pun intended). I think the reference is to a Wagnerian opera and I don’t believe he was Italian.

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    Ermine Notyours  9 months ago

    It’s especially harsh to try Goat in prison clothes in front of a jury.

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    YouBetchaAy  9 months ago

    Honestly, this is how society is in 2018.

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    dr_suess  9 months ago

    That loud noise at the end Triggered me! Back to comic jail for you, bub! ;-)

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    wingalls  9 months ago

    He’s lucky the Grammar Police didn’t catch him first. Using “ain’t” is a hanging offense.

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    wellis1947 Premium Member 9 months ago

    Actually, I was always under the assumption that the “fat lady” reference was made about Kate Smith, who usually closed her performances with a rousing rendition of “God Bless America”.

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    khcm1157  9 months ago

    The Word Police forgot to correct the bad grammar, not likely.

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    Asharah  9 months ago

    How about, “It ain’t over until the lead diva sings.”

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    tripwire45  9 months ago

    Absolutely spot on. Well done, Stephen.

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    B UTTONS  9 months ago

    Pig’s “Down” – discrimination against

    people with depression;people with down’s syndromegeese and / or ducks

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    gorbasche2  9 months ago

    Reminds me of an old TV show, “The Practice” in the late nineties (turned into “Boston Legal” later on). Lawyers had to represent a hugely fat chick who went to a carnival and a dunk-tank-clown called her fat while trying to draw in contestants. Waahhhhh…..

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    Leojim  9 months ago

    I wish there wasn’t so much truth in this comic.

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    gbars70  9 months ago

    I find it interesting that most comedians, comic artists and humorists in general are usually unfailingly liberal except when it comes to their own comedic freedom of expression; I.e. Bill Maher, Jerry Seinfeld etc.; then it becomes an outrage about outrage.

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    RandyPrice  9 months ago

    Punctuation Police!: the apostrophe before “Til” is upside down.

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    marilynnbyerly  9 months ago

    This was a job for the cliche police, NOT the word police. Sheesh.

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    krunchykitty  9 months ago

    Punctuation police disapproves: the apostrophe in ’til is facing the wrong way.

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    JoeMartinFan Premium Member 9 months ago

    I get what Pastis is trying to say, but I’m just not buying the notion that today’s PC climate is SOOO oppressive. Yes, it CAN go too far from time to time, but you might wanna talk to some veterans of the ’60s Civil Rights movement, or perhaps survivors of the Marxist-Communist era in Eastern Europe, to discover what REAL oppression looks like.

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    DCBakerEsq  9 months ago

    #BanPoliticalCorrectness

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    eladee  9 months ago

    ….and once again the Word Police have sucked all the joy and humor out of everything!!!

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    BeniHanna6 Premium Member 9 months ago

    Love it, thanks for the belly laugh, Mr. Pastis.

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  9 months ago

    That offends you? It’s funny to me. That must be why I’m happier than you.

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    gbars70  9 months ago

    I find it interesting that most comedians, comic artists and humorists in general are usually unfailingly liberal except when it comes to their own comedic freedom of expression; I.e. Bill Maher, Jerry Seinfeld etc.; then it becomes an outrage about outrage.

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    mail2jbl  9 months ago

    Well done, Cartoon Boy – well done.

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    Brain Pudding Premium Member 9 months ago

    Um, Patsis you have offended me with your Anti-lunacy rant against my right to silence you through intimidation, boycott, yelling loudly in your face, flash mobbing, getting you fired, or using the tools of government to destroy you.

    I will be organizing a social justice crusade to end your so called “comic” for your attack on me and my black masked, trash can throwing mob. This is no longer art..so say we all (well, 50% +1 of us)!!!

    I am really offended…THAT is the standard to which you MUST submit …you will face the consequences!

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    WmCraft Premium Member 9 months ago

    Approved by the SJW – after they settled down.

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    floperson  9 months ago

    So, Stephen Pastis, you’re making fun of the word police. You’re making fun of people trying to teach us not to be so freaking insensitive? Sigh. Oops, your white privilege is showing, careful, right there. Come on, aren’t you better than this?

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    tonicee9  9 months ago

    Long way to go for not funny.

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    phlash  9 months ago

    First time I ever heard it was an episode of Dukes of Hazzard and it was “Church ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings”

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    Sisyphos  9 months ago

    You probably think it’s funny, now. But wait until the Word Police come for you!

    Poor Goat. Is he allowed to have visitors in Re-Education Camp?

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    cats_in_bowties  9 months ago

    Oh hey, look, another gross misrepresentation at how things actually work. eyeroll

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    aull41  9 months ago

    He missed “Improper English” — 10 yards penalty

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    SFpagan  9 months ago

    I notice nobody has pointed out to the media that their use of “witchhunt” is offensive or that Hollywood is still making bucks/movies potraying witches/pagans as evil ……..

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    Scott Sallstrom  9 months ago

    “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” – Yogi Berra

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    su43dipta  9 months ago

    Now the international clowns and funny people organization is out to get you for publishing writing an unfunny comic!

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    ekw555  9 months ago

    I guess the PC word police beat the grammar Nazis to the scene of the crime(s).

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    OldDadTheBoss  9 months ago

    Pretty sure it was Ethel Merman.

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    ADNERB Premium Member 9 months ago

    The Word Police takes the fun out of everything!!!

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    spikelovesmusic  9 months ago

    In the late 1970’s, it was a motto of the Washington (then-) Bullets basketball team, who stayed in the games to pull out their one championship season in ‘78. Heck, I used to have a T-shirt!However, the roots of the expression seem to go back even further!This discussion ain’t over ’til…https://www.sbnation.com/2010/3/9/1085904/today-in-sports-history-march-10th

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    ebrooks  7 months ago

    Do women WANT to be called commoners?

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