Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 09, 2018

Quiet, Pig, the guy in the White House might hear you.

You know it’s bad when Pig starts sounding like Rat.

For what Pig wants to do, there will be time enough at last!

♫ “Always look on the bright side of life” ♫

But what good is a clean credit score if 7-11 is deep-sixed?

Even if Pig survived the nuclear war, he’d probably be eaten by the other survivors.

Nuclear reboot…get a half-life Pig.

I was a little kid during the Cuban Missile Crisis so I don’t remember it directly, but my Dad, who was in the Air Force then, was at one of the missile launch centers with a partner, each ready for the command from the President to launch their ICBM. As far as I know, that was the closest we ever came to a nuclear war. I’m not that worried about the current President and that nut job in North Korea shooting off their big mouths in social media.

Reading too much Twitter will convince you there is no civilization left to be destroyed in a nuclear war.

Where there’s horse manure, there has got to be a pony

That’ll do,Pig,that’ll do.

In this strip, I thought that’s why there are talking animals who survived the war. Just one more mistake, Fat Boys bombs.

The Earth will be just fine, many species will survive, new ones will evolve.

Also, the easiest way to erase your browser history.

I suppose an all-out nuclear war would be a pretty effective way of eliminating the national debt. Who’d be left to collect? Or pay? There’s a bright side to annihilation after all.

But if the earth is destroyed, you won’t get to call Dave Ramsey on Friday to tell him about it.

“You and I in a little toy shop buy a bag of balloons with the money we’ve got…”

“You and I in a little toy shop buy a bag of balloons with the money we’ve got…”

But will we have a government shutdown?

Solution: Avoid twitter

The prior owner of my house actually worked on the Manhattan Project.

As my father observed, “If all humans were killed off, it would solve a hell of a lot of problems.”

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis. I also remember those movies they showed in school about that time featuring Tommy Turtle, if I remember aright, who taught us to “duck and cover when you see the flash.” I suppose that would have made us neater little piles of ash if we were anywhere near ground zero. (My own father quipped, when told of one of those films, “good advice, son; tuck your head between your knees and kiss your (behind) goodbye.”)

Forget the mortgage payment. Screw the car bill. Use up the Viagra. It’s party time!

You’ve got a point, Pig.

I don’t understand why people like Twitter so much. You can do a lot more on Facebook.

xxx

That ain’t Roy, Jim. #OrsonsFarm

Remember Y2K? I was actually hoping it would happen because rumor had it that all of our info like credit would be wiped clean. I was a young, naive, dreamer in those days.

They’re rioting in Africa. They’re starving in Spain.There’s hurricanes in Florida and Texas needs rain.

The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.The French hate the Germans. The Germans hate the Poles.

Italians hate Yugoslavs. South Africans hate the Dutch.And I don’t like anybody very much!

But we can be tranquil and thankful and proudFor man’s been endowed with a mushroom shaped cloud.

And we know for certain that some lovely daySomeone will set the spark off and we will all be blown away.

They’re rioting in Africa. There’s strife in Iran.What nature doesn’t do to us will be done by our fellow man.

—The Kingston Trio “The Merry Minuet”

i pity the Pig who thinks nuclear annihilation is his “best chance” at a fresh start. Surely, there is something better, Pig? Bankruptcy filing?

Yes, and I won’t have to clean my house

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”Albert Einstein.

I never really read Twitter, but i don’t think it would really cause the end of the world.

Great! A nuclear winter is just what we need to fight global warming! And to end all life on earth, but every solution has a drawback!