Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 27, 2017


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  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    It means those years will come 10 years sooner.

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  2. Bluedog
    Bilan  almost 2 years ago

    I know this is a comic. But not only does your life become shorter, but that time is also spent sick more often. You don’t get to enjoy most of those few years left either.

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  3. W12
    chris_weaver  almost 2 years ago

    Life is short – pig out NOW!

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  4. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  almost 2 years ago

    Old joke:

    A man says to his doctor, “I don’t drink, don’t eat fatty food, and don’t fool around with loose women. Tell me, will I live to be a hundred?” And the doctor says, “What for?”

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  5. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  almost 2 years ago

    Cheers, Pig. But beer and ice cream together? Yuck!

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  6. V2
    Willywise52 Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    This may be the most brilliant thing Pastis has ever done.

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    josballard  almost 2 years ago

    And then there is Hugh Hefner.

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  8. Pdog
    PrairieDog37  almost 2 years ago

    I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. — John Mortimer

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    david_42  almost 2 years ago

    My father, maternal grandfather, and brother all died before they were 50. I’m 65, so …

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  10. 1959 chevy elcamino
    F-Flash  almost 2 years ago
    I’ve invented a gluten aerosol for these situations.
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  11. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  almost 2 years ago

    I for one plan to leave this world exactly as I entered it: naked, soaking wet, and screaming at the top of my lungs.

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  12. Missing large
    garysmigs  almost 2 years ago

    Life is too short for no-fat.

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  13. Red
    BiathlonNut  almost 2 years ago

    Doctor to patient: “It is either one hour of exercise per day or 24 hours of being dead per day.”

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    Perkycat  almost 2 years ago

    Well, this has all been depressing. I’m going back to my coffee and cinnamon roll.

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  15. Americanflag
    Masterskrain Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    Someone send Trump a lifetime free pass to KFC, and the Cheesecake Factory…

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    joefearsnothing  almost 2 years ago

    Pig said “longevity”? I didn’t know he was that articulate!

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    joefearsnothing  almost 2 years ago

    Not about food,but when someone asked George Burns ,at age 99, what his doctors thought about his cigar smoking habit..he responded….“My Doctors are all dead”!

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  18. Terror tim   copy
    Petemejia77  almost 2 years ago

    Bill Hicks bit.

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  19. Missing large
    drpearse  almost 2 years ago

    Good health is the slowest form of death!

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  20. Plait girl
    Number Three  almost 2 years ago

    Live life to the full. Because it WILL be over.


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  21. Coexist
    Bookworm  almost 2 years ago

    “If you can’t get to seventy by a comfortable road, don’t go.” Mark Twain.

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  22. Pa220005
    Fido (aka Felix Rex) Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    OK — let’s think this out logically — the average lifespan of a domestic rat is just under 10 years — so if Rat is going to lose 10 years because of his unhealthy diet — he’ll end up back in the womb, then be reborn, eat the same foods, go back to womb…

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  23. Thinker
    Sisyphos  almost 2 years ago

    Chow down, gents! Enjoy your life, such as it is, long or short. You only go around once, as they say….

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  24. Lizardtiltglow
    Lizard Lass Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    I was born with kidney disease and now I’m on dialysis. You never know what’s gonna happen. Might as well have fun while you can.

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  25. Avatar
    dwyntomlinson Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    this one really strikes a chord …

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  26. Gsunset tiny
    Seeker149 Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    Quick disclaimer: I DID enjoy the joke. But then really quickly I got sad as I realized how many people I’ve heard expressing similar notions – and far too few of them were really joking. To make things worse, a small percentage of humans have genetic anomalies that make them resistant to the ill effects of a poor lifestyle. The rest of us are prone to using them as excuses to make bad choices. My wife and I can say from personal experience that turning away from a bad diet is one of the slowest and most difficult u-turns you’ll ever make. Yet even less than halfway to our goals we enjoy every day so much more than we used to, and people regularly underestimate our ages by a decade or more. Meanwhile we know numerous friends who deal with “age-related” health issues much earlier in life than their own parents. Anyone who falls for Rat’s philosophy will still experience those sad and lonely final ten years, cause longevity gets cut from the good part in the middle.

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  27. Ned dickens
    Ned Dickens  10 months ago

    Longer’s not always better!!

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