Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 05, 2017

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    BE THIS GUY  over 5 years ago

    Wasn’t Rat a judge few months ago? He got demoted.

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  over 5 years ago

    how good are Rat’s typing skills I wonder

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    Oshietekun  over 5 years ago

    What’s brown and looks good on a lawyer?

    A Doberman

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    Oshietekun  over 5 years ago

    Why does the Bar prevent a lawyer from having sex with his client?

    To keep the lawyer from billing twice for essentially the same thing.

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    Plumbob Wilson  over 5 years ago

    Everyone loves to bash lawyers; but you should always remember that they fill a vital role; if it weren’t for them, rats and roaches would have to do things they found morally reprehensible.

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    546mailbox  over 5 years ago

    You guys commenting on this strip are funnier than the strip itself.

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    jbmlaw01  over 5 years ago

    98% of the attorneys make the rest of us look bad.

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    Sandfan  over 5 years ago

    On American TV, half the ads seem to be drug companies telling you to use their product to cure what ails you, and the other half is lawyers trying to get you to sue the drug companies for the damage caused by those products.

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    boxturtle  over 5 years ago

    What do you need when you find three lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

    A) More Sand.b) Honey and ants.C) depends on the distance to the hole, but probably a 5 iron.

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    eddie6192  over 5 years ago

    That’s the first time I ever saw Goat crack a smile.

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    William Taylor  over 5 years ago

    If you are in a sealed room with 1. A lawyer, 2. A starving tiger and 3. A starving crocagator, and all you have is a gun with just TWO bullets, what do you do? Answer: Shoot the lawyer, twice.

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    OGWhatahunk  over 5 years ago
    Know the difference between a lawyer and a carp?One is a slimy bottom dwelling scum sucker and the other is a fish
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    toahero  over 5 years ago

    Don’t tell me a lawyer joke, I’ve got several friends who are lawyers.

    (It doesn’t mean I’ll be offended, but it does mean I’ve already heard it)

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    MeGoNow Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I worked for 35 of them. They’re simple folk. Easily fooled.

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    VICTOR PROULX  over 5 years ago

    The dollar is nine tenths of the law.

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    Steve Dutch  over 5 years ago

    Harvard Medical School has started using lawyers in place of rats. There are more of them, they’ll do things no rat would ever dream of doing, and you don’t get so attached to them.

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    Perkycat  over 5 years ago

    Great lawyer jokes you all! Thanks for the laughs.

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    nosirrom  over 5 years ago

    Why should you worry about lawyers practicing law.

    Because no matter how long they’ve been practicing they can’t get it right.

    BTW: remember that half of all the lawyers graduated in the bottom half of their class.

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    billswingle  over 5 years ago

    Excellent strip today! I truly laughed OUT LOUD. Really.

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    zeexenon  over 5 years ago

    Old tactic, you’re hurt for life and the lawyers settle. You’ve been conned! Hold out. Yes, hold out and do not settle till you’re in court. First learn about the time value of money, e.g. $20K in 1990 is now worth $200K and in 2044 will be $2 million. Then argue that you want the settlement in monthly payments. Your friendly and helpful lawyer will fight you to the death.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Why don’t sharks eat lawyers?

    Professional courtesy.

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    Ken Hedden  over 5 years ago

    This is my favorite comic strip, because of Stephan’s willingness to make fun of himself. Unfortunately, it was recently dropped from my local newspaper.

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    Number Three  over 5 years ago

    Who on earth would hire Rat?

    Oh of course. Anything can happen in comic strips.

    xxx

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    griffon8  over 5 years ago

    What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

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    A rooster clucks defiance.

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    tgamb  over 5 years ago

    You know, of course, that Stephan was a lawyer….

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    Sherlock Watson  over 5 years ago

    My earlier post seems to have disappeared, so here it is again:

    :

    How is a goose like a lawyer?

    He can stick his bill up his @$$.

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    Sisyphos  over 5 years ago

    Given Cartoon-Boy’s known history, I can understand your predicament Rat (and this applies to you, too, Goat). There is no escaping your Creator and (Rat’s) alter ego….

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    knight1192a  over 5 years ago

    Too many lawyer jokes, too little time. My favorite has to do with a couple of alligators and not shaking a certain waste product out of the body before eating them in order to gain weight.

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    Jeff0811  over 5 years ago

    Didn’t read all 50 or so comments above, so I apologize if this has been covered. A court reporter works for a paper or for tv / internet news and covers what goes on in court, or tennis / basketball players. A court stenographer takes notes in court. Wondering which job rat took.

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    fofinho  over 5 years ago

    A lawyer goes to get a headstone for a plot for his final resting place. He asks to have it inscribed with “Here lies a lawyer and an honest man”. The inscribers says, “We are not allowed to bury two men in the same grave!”.

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    Super Smash Bros Ultimate  about 3 years ago

    Wow

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    PBS1!  6 months ago

    STP mocking his former profession once again.

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