Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 05, 2017

  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  over 5 years ago

    Wasn’t Rat a judge few months ago? He got demoted.

     •  Reply
  2. 8d4e8ad6 4494 4665 8009 edd51c3035f8
    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  over 5 years ago

    how good are Rat’s typing skills I wonder

     •  Reply
  3. Img 2285
    Oshietekun  over 5 years ago

    What’s brown and looks good on a lawyer?

    A Doberman

     •  Reply
  4. Img 2285
    Oshietekun  over 5 years ago

    Why does the Bar prevent a lawyer from having sex with his client?

    To keep the lawyer from billing twice for essentially the same thing.

     •  Reply
  5. Plumbbob wilson
    Plumbob Wilson  over 5 years ago

    Everyone loves to bash lawyers; but you should always remember that they fill a vital role; if it weren’t for them, rats and roaches would have to do things they found morally reprehensible.

     •  Reply
  6. Missing large
    546mailbox  over 5 years ago

    You guys commenting on this strip are funnier than the strip itself.

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    jbmlaw01  over 5 years ago

    98% of the attorneys make the rest of us look bad.

     •  Reply
  8. Andy
    Sandfan  over 5 years ago

    On American TV, half the ads seem to be drug companies telling you to use their product to cure what ails you, and the other half is lawyers trying to get you to sue the drug companies for the damage caused by those products.

     •  Reply
  9. Missing large
    boxturtle  over 5 years ago

    What do you need when you find three lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

    A) More Sand.b) Honey and ants.C) depends on the distance to the hole, but probably a 5 iron.

     •  Reply
  10. Missing large
    eddie6192  over 5 years ago

    That’s the first time I ever saw Goat crack a smile.

     •  Reply
  11. Missing large
    William Taylor  over 5 years ago

    If you are in a sealed room with 1. A lawyer, 2. A starving tiger and 3. A starving crocagator, and all you have is a gun with just TWO bullets, what do you do? Answer: Shoot the lawyer, twice.

     •  Reply
  12. Missing large
    OGWhatahunk  over 5 years ago
    Know the difference between a lawyer and a carp?One is a slimy bottom dwelling scum sucker and the other is a fish
     •  Reply
  13. Linkingbookchannelwood
    toahero  over 5 years ago

    Don’t tell me a lawyer joke, I’ve got several friends who are lawyers.

    (It doesn’t mean I’ll be offended, but it does mean I’ve already heard it)

     •  Reply
  14. Hobo
    MeGoNow Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I worked for 35 of them. They’re simple folk. Easily fooled.

     •  Reply
  15. Missing large
    VICTOR PROULX  over 5 years ago

    The dollar is nine tenths of the law.

     •  Reply
  16. Missing large
    Steve Dutch  over 5 years ago

    Harvard Medical School has started using lawyers in place of rats. There are more of them, they’ll do things no rat would ever dream of doing, and you don’t get so attached to them.

     •  Reply
  17. Chai
    Perkycat  over 5 years ago

    Great lawyer jokes you all! Thanks for the laughs.

     •  Reply
  18. 2006 afl collingwood
    nosirrom  over 5 years ago

    Why should you worry about lawyers practicing law.

    Because no matter how long they’ve been practicing they can’t get it right.

    BTW: remember that half of all the lawyers graduated in the bottom half of their class.

     •  Reply
  19. Bill 51 withbeard 3
    billswingle  over 5 years ago

    Excellent strip today! I truly laughed OUT LOUD. Really.

     •  Reply
  20. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  over 5 years ago

    Old tactic, you’re hurt for life and the lawyers settle. You’ve been conned! Hold out. Yes, hold out and do not settle till you’re in court. First learn about the time value of money, e.g. $20K in 1990 is now worth $200K and in 2044 will be $2 million. Then argue that you want the settlement in monthly payments. Your friendly and helpful lawyer will fight you to the death.

     •  Reply
  21. Airhornmissc
    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Why don’t sharks eat lawyers?

    Professional courtesy.

     •  Reply
  22. Missing large
    Ken Hedden  over 5 years ago

    This is my favorite comic strip, because of Stephan’s willingness to make fun of himself. Unfortunately, it was recently dropped from my local newspaper.

     •  Reply
  23. Airbrush 20220427165742
    Number Three  over 5 years ago

    Who on earth would hire Rat?

    Oh of course. Anything can happen in comic strips.


     •  Reply
  24. Bentley profile
    griffon8  over 5 years ago

    What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?


    A rooster clucks defiance.

     •  Reply
  25. Missing large
    tgamb  over 5 years ago

    You know, of course, that Stephan was a lawyer….

     •  Reply
  26. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  over 5 years ago

    My earlier post seems to have disappeared, so here it is again:


    How is a goose like a lawyer?

    He can stick his bill up his @$$.

     •  Reply
  27. Thinker
    Sisyphos  over 5 years ago

    Given Cartoon-Boy’s known history, I can understand your predicament Rat (and this applies to you, too, Goat). There is no escaping your Creator and (Rat’s) alter ego….

     •  Reply
  28. Hellcat
    knight1192a  over 5 years ago

    Too many lawyer jokes, too little time. My favorite has to do with a couple of alligators and not shaking a certain waste product out of the body before eating them in order to gain weight.

     •  Reply
  29. Grandpa hef
    Jeff0811  over 5 years ago

    Didn’t read all 50 or so comments above, so I apologize if this has been covered. A court reporter works for a paper or for tv / internet news and covers what goes on in court, or tennis / basketball players. A court stenographer takes notes in court. Wondering which job rat took.

     •  Reply
  30. Missing large
    fofinho  over 5 years ago

    A lawyer goes to get a headstone for a plot for his final resting place. He asks to have it inscribed with “Here lies a lawyer and an honest man”. The inscribers says, “We are not allowed to bury two men in the same grave!”.

     •  Reply
  31. Supersmashbrosuf445a110003original
    Super Smash Bros Ultimate  about 3 years ago


     •  Reply
  32. Photo
    PBS1!  6 months ago

    STP mocking his former profession once again.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine