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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 15, 2016

42 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Rat will run a blackmail scheme out of the confessional.

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  2. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  over 2 years ago

    Someone had better fumigate the church — there’s a rat in it!

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    TEMPLO S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    thank goodness I belong to a lay ministry church

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    Randallw  over 2 years ago

    If you can call such an organisation a church. It’s not The Church. I’m not sure how confession works in protestant organisations.

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  5. Hellcat
    knight1192a  over 2 years ago

    I have a friend who did that. I’d say he was a far better priest than Rat will ever be. Also expected the first wedding ceremony he conducted wouldn’t last and he was right.

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  6. Leprechaun
    oldpine52  over 2 years ago

    It’s a very bad idea.

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    railwayman001  over 2 years ago

    Yeah, this is why the Catholic Church doesn’t allow priests to be ordained online or over the phone, or even in the mail for that matter.

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  8. Blunebottle
    blunebottle  over 2 years ago

    Hmm…today’s “Pot-Shots” is kind of related.

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    Kyle of Lochalsh  over 2 years ago

    They should congRATulate him

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    alviebird  over 2 years ago

    I have an online ordination. I’ve never used it, nor do I ever even give it much thought. It means about as much to me as the effort it took to get it.

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    juicebruce  over 2 years ago

    Hum…….. that is one way to collar a Rat :-0

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    JusSayin  over 2 years ago

    Hunter S Thompson received his Doctorate from Universal Life Church. It is an excellent institution. I submitted my doctoral proposal to ULC, and they immediately offered to waive their normal, stringent requirements, based on the strength of my proposal, and for a slight fee, would have granted my Doctorate of Humane Letters.

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  13. Hobo
    MeGoNow Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Vicious. Bigoted. Grasping. Yep. He’ll fit right in.

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  14. Flash
    pschearer Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Did somebody sneeze?

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    The Brooklyn Accent  over 2 years ago

    I’ve heard it said that clergy do more than lay people.

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    news  over 2 years ago

    Rat is a SubGenius.

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  17. Aerocarene
    plus4  over 2 years ago

    Whatever knowledge or experience you have (or think you have) of such matters… for the most part Christendom doesn’t remotely resemble your assessment. BTW, in my knowledge and experience, I’ve found that the real con men are the ones selling the fantasy of “there’s nothing or no one bigger than you so you can do whatever you want without consequence.”

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    mortaur  over 2 years ago

    Poor, poor altar boys.

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    laurac5800  over 2 years ago

    We’re f****d.

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  20. 00712 whiteheron
    whiteheron  over 2 years ago

    I didn’t know that Rat liked kids.

    (Whaaat? Too soon? )

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  21. Caledonian railway engine
    mail2jbl  over 2 years ago

    This is terrible. Rat a priest? Next thing you know, they’ll be letting sex offenders be ordained as – oh wait…

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  22. Mr haney
    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    We have an ex used car salesman who started his own church. Just bought a 3 million dollar resort to have “services”!

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    JusSayin  over 2 years ago

    @cdward: In New Orleans, at LSU Hospital, (before) people with (nondenominational) ordinations, have used their parking privileges for a nice parking spot downtown, where parking is at a premium, to use non-hospital business. That was before hurricane Katrina, and I haven’t been to NO since.

    I have seen people with the placards at Houston Medical center for parking to go to local businesses, the Medical Center is near the Arts Museum District, and again, parking is at a premium in downtown Houston.

    I actually considered getting the TX placard when I was going for chemo a few years ago, but that really is a stretch to call it clergy visitation, and I did not do so. Most of the clerical spots were usually full anyway in the areas closest to my Drs.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Oh, nooooooooooooooooooooo

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    cooganm Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I really hope they pick him to give the invocation at the inauguration next month.

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    Ermine Notyours  over 2 years ago

    Are rodents at mega-churches still as poor as church mice?

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  27. Revphnkeye
    Rev Phnk Ey  over 2 years ago

    Welcome brother Rat

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    YatInExile Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Who remembers a show called Northern Exposure? Chris Stevens became a minister after answering an ad in Rolling Stone.

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    tigre1again  over 2 years ago

    Everybody say, “Never give a sucker an even break, Rat.”

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    Arionis  over 2 years ago

    I’m guessing communion will be beer and pretzels at Rat’s Church.

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  31. 3 year old me
    Number Three  over 2 years ago

    I’ve seen it all now. And I’m not sure I wanted to…

    xxx

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  over 2 years ago

    Lucifer is a fallen Angel, and Rat is a fallen priest!

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member over 2 years ago

    If Rat’s in, it most surely is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.

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  34. Thinker
    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    It’s usually not like Goat to leap to conclusions, but I guess in Rat’s case we can safely make an exception….

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    highrollerhydra87  about 2 years ago

    The communion wine is now filled with brewskis.

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