Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 04, 2016
Pig: How are your eggs, dad? Dad: Runny. But I guess they're fine. Pig: Sorry. This was the only place I could take you for breakfast that was near your house. Dad: Yeah, well, with the traffic now, it's impossible to go anywhere. Just yesterday, I had to get to my doctor's appointment. Made me ten minutes late. Of course, that stupid doctor is always late, too. He's terrible. The idiot doesn't even know what this pain in my leg is. Hurts. All the time. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. It's horrible. Now my @*#@ coffee's cold. And why don't you take me to breakfast more often? Pig: 'Cause...life...not...worth...living.