Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 27, 2016
"Banking Explained by Rat" Rat: We can't make this stuff up! Man: Well, sir, no loan for you. We have to be very careful under all these new banking regulations. Man 2: But aren't you the same bank whose employees opened two million fake accounts to charge customers fake fees? Man: Yes. But we fired those bad apples! Man 2: But was someone above them held responsible? Man: Yes, sir! She's retiring. Man 2: Retiring? Man: With a $124,000,000 payout. Man 2: So you collect fake fees from customers, fire the employees you pressured, and keep all the millions for yourself? Man: Yes. But if you feel strongly about it, you should talk to your congressman. Man 2: Where is he? Man: With our C.E.O. Congressman: I love you, best buddy! C.E.O.: I love you more, best buddy! Goat: Where does it all end? Rat: I'm hoping for mobs and pitch-forks. Pig: Just tell me who to poke!