Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 29, 2016
Pig: Hey, Benny the Bull. How goes it? Benny: Good. I'm learning how to impress women. Pig: How so? Benny: With this book, the 'Nose-Ring Dare'. It's all these crazy things you can do with nose rings. And women love it. Pig: Looks like you've high-lighted a lot of it. Benny: Oh, yeah. All the important parts. But this is just the one I've read. Pig: You have other copies? Benny: Yep. I have this unread version as well. I keep it in case anything should ever happen to the read one. God forbid. Rat: Dude, don't you think you're going a little overboard? It's a stupid book. Pig: That's rude, Rat. Be polite. Rat: Oh? Would it be polite or rude of me to stand on top of the read version? Benny: Rude! Off the read 'Nose-Ring Dare'! Rat: It's not even Christmas. Stephen: My puns are timeless.