Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 04, 2016
March 03, 2016
March 05, 2016
Transcript:
Pig: Oh, wise ass on the hill, what is the key to life?
Wise Ass: Love your fellow man.
Pig; How does one achieve that?
Wise Ass: Live high on a hill, where you don't have to see any of them.
Pig: That seems unfair.
Develop a perfect relationship with everybody. A perfect relationship requires maintaining a perfect distance at which all interaction is mutually beneficial.
So, consider this - the words ‘wise’ and ‘smart’ are basically synonyms, with ‘dumb’ qualifying as an antonym for both. But ‘smart-ass’, ‘dumb-ass’, and ‘wise-ass’ are synonymous to each other.Kind of like the notion of driving on a parkway and parking on a driveway.
Is the “wise * on the hill” really just Danny Donkey with a beard? Their last line sounds like something Rat would say, and certainly like something Rat would have Danny Donkey say.
Day after dayAlone on a hillThe ass with the foolish grinIs keeping perfectly stillBut nobody wants to know himThey can see that he’s just a foolAnd he never gives an answerBut the ass on the hillSees the sun going downAnd the eyes in his headSee the world spinning round
I checked the comments in vain looking for an explanation of the last panel where the punch line and associated chuckle happens. Is “wise ass” the entire joke?
BE THIS GUY about 8 years ago
Hard to follow that advice in Kansas.
Sherlock Watson about 8 years ago
Tomorrow will we see the Comic Strip Censor going into conniptions over the use of “Wise ass”?
Templo S.U.D. about 8 years ago
What is the so-called wise donkey sitting on? A washtub?
Alphaomega about 8 years ago
Unfair advantage?
Enter.Name.Here about 8 years ago
That Wise Ass was a real wise-ass.
Brass Orchid Premium Member about 8 years ago
Develop a perfect relationship with everybody. A perfect relationship requires maintaining a perfect distance at which all interaction is mutually beneficial.
Richard Howland-Bolton Premium Member about 8 years ago
There was a young maid of Madras,Who had a very fine ass.It was not as you think, Plump round and pink,Bur grey long-eared and eats grass!
Tain'tPelagius about 8 years ago
The cent mark not necessarily being the pinnacle of the WQERTY keyboard, Lucy.
Brian Fink about 8 years ago
There are some people in this world who do not love their fellow man and I hate people like that. – Tom Lehrer
hariseldon59 about 8 years ago
Danny Donkey with a beard.
dre7861 about 8 years ago
Bet the Censor loved you today, Cartoon-Boy!
cgrantt57 Premium Member about 8 years ago
One would assume that there are a series of hills here with Wise Ass on one and Jack, Dumb, Smart on the others.
Greg Murphy about 8 years ago
That sounded more like a ‘Rat-ism’ than an ‘Ass-ism’
whiteheron about 8 years ago
The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.
Shimmery Mermaid about 8 years ago
… you don’t know jack!(I once heard that wise ass say:)
#AbsenceMakesTheHeartGrowFonderor was it …#AbsintheMakesTheFartGrowStronger
Plods with ...™ about 8 years ago
I could do that.
windfinder about 8 years ago
My wife calls me an educated donkey
ED CANTWELL about 8 years ago
Finally Stephan you’ve done it. This is funny. I’ll print it and hang it on the fridge. Keep this character…….
Joken' about 8 years ago
Rat couldn’t get a word in ass wise
Eliezer about 8 years ago
He’s stuck in eros and far from agape.
Fido (aka Felix Rex) Premium Member about 8 years ago
So, consider this - the words ‘wise’ and ‘smart’ are basically synonyms, with ‘dumb’ qualifying as an antonym for both. But ‘smart-ass’, ‘dumb-ass’, and ‘wise-ass’ are synonymous to each other.Kind of like the notion of driving on a parkway and parking on a driveway.
knight1192a about 8 years ago
Is the “wise * on the hill” really just Danny Donkey with a beard? Their last line sounds like something Rat would say, and certainly like something Rat would have Danny Donkey say.
David Rickard Premium Member about 8 years ago
Day after dayAlone on a hillThe ass with the foolish grinIs keeping perfectly stillBut nobody wants to know himThey can see that he’s just a foolAnd he never gives an answerBut the ass on the hillSees the sun going downAnd the eyes in his headSee the world spinning round
cactusjack99 Premium Member about 8 years ago
Great one Stephan!!!!!
Sheila Hardie about 8 years ago
Pushing the envelope these days. I love it!
echoraven about 8 years ago
That wise ass seems very wise…
lattewoman about 8 years ago
Rat with a bat could make the wise ass smart.
Number Three about 8 years ago
I agree. Pig. But when you take advice from an “ass” then that makes you an…?xxx
Dippy about 8 years ago
That hill. What exactly is that a pile of?
abbybookcase about 8 years ago
eeyore is a wise ass
codedaddy about 8 years ago
I checked the comments in vain looking for an explanation of the last panel where the punch line and associated chuckle happens. Is “wise ass” the entire joke?
Sisyphos about 8 years ago
Deal with it, Pig! You asked the Wise Ass, and he gave you his opinion…..
Jim Kerner about 8 years ago
I don’t see anything wrong with being called a smart ass.
bigcatbusiness about 8 years ago
Not that hard for me. I live on a mountain (though not that remote). Petty good advice there.
Endersteve1027 almost 7 years ago
It’s Danny Donkey’s great grandpa
Dumb Ass on The Hill over 3 years ago
And thus, I was born.
Spirit749 over 3 years ago
Smart!
28william.stadtmueller about 2 years ago
Funny, kind of not appropriate of school, WHO CARES!!!