Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 08, 2015

  1. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  over 7 years ago

    Mork once had a time machine, which he tested by setting it for “one second ago… one second ago… one second ago…”

     •  Reply
  2. Hellcat
    knight1192a  over 7 years ago

    Never think bigger when talking time travel, Goat. Time traveling to change the past is a very dangerous game to play, one which most folks don’t tend to consider the consequences of. I’ve often seen folks ask if you could go back in time and kill Hitler before he came to power would you do it? So many say yes, I say no. Not because I admire that monster, but because I don’t know what effects killing him would have on history. Maybe millions of people would have lived, or maybe there was a worst monster held in check by his presence who would have caused twice as many deaths as Hitler did. What if one of those to die because of Hitler was that worst monster? What about the BILLIONS of folks who I’d be consigning to never being born in the first place by removing Hitler so early? Hundreds of millions were born during the baby boom that followed the war. I’m talking world wide here, in the U.S. alone the baby boom period saw about 78.1 million kids born in this period. And then you’ve got their children and grand children (and even great grand children in some instances).

     •  Reply
  3. Alexander the great
    Alexander the Good Enough  over 7 years ago

    Ahem. Pig is a pig. They are reliably monomaniacal about some things.

     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    phylum  over 7 years ago

    last night I got up to go to the bathroom..i stubbed my little toe…it really really realllly hurt…I would go back in time and move that chair over just three inches…

     •  Reply
  5. Missing large
    juicebruce  over 7 years ago

    Well Pig you may have the Nachos……I would like Lasagna,garlic toast and a salad !

     •  Reply
  6. Missing large
    zellman  over 7 years ago

    There is really no way of knowing…maybe if Hitler was killed before taking power World War 2 was only delayed and happened in 1955 instead of 1939, it could have been a massive thermonuclear war with billions killed, rather than a conventional one that ended with 2 nuclear bombs.

     •  Reply
  7. Image
    Ethan the new guy  over 7 years ago

    I agree with Pig! Nachos forever!

     •  Reply
  8. 00712 whiteheron
    whiteheron  over 7 years ago

    Nacho place to tell Pig what to think, Goat.

     •  Reply
  9. Missing large
    defunctdoormat Premium Member over 7 years ago

    I find it interesting that Pigs are the smartest of domesticated animals (smarter than dogs), but Pig is a moron here.

     •  Reply
  10. Airhornmissc
    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 7 years ago

    Pig has managed to simultaneously think small and think big.

     •  Reply
  11. Me1113
    chris_o42  over 7 years ago

    A great book about time travel and it’s consequences, “The Man Who Folded Himself”.

     •  Reply
  12. 1899lsu avatar
    YatInExile Premium Member over 7 years ago

    I would take $20,000 and travel back to March 13, 1986. That was the date of Microsoft’s IPO.

     •  Reply
  13. Me 2015
    puddlesplatt  over 7 years ago

    I like Nuts, lots of them…num num num!

     •  Reply
  14. Me 2015
    puddlesplatt  over 7 years ago

    I like Nuts, lots of them…num num num!

     •  Reply
  15. My dad 5
    Homer J  over 7 years ago

    What would I change? Hmmmmmm. Probably my underwear.

     •  Reply
  16. 5th doctor who 002
    celeryonthelapel  over 7 years ago

    Wouldn’t that result in infinite Pigs 5 minutes ago? That doesn’t look like enough nachos for infinite pigs to me, but the bowl could always be bigger on the inside.

     •  Reply
  17. Blue xke
    flyfisher  over 7 years ago

    Just go back in time and kill Hitler, then come back and see if things or better or worse. If better good job, if worse go back in time again and prevent yourself from killing Hitler. There now doesn’t that make perfect sense. :)

     •  Reply
  18. Radicalknight avatar
    Radical_Knight  over 7 years ago

    You’re right, ’Prof’s hubbie’, but then if Hitler had died before the 2nd war, you would most likely not have been born who and what you are today and I wouldn’t be replying to your comment. Many things that are wouldn’t be and neither would we. .

     •  Reply
  19. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  over 7 years ago

    Rat would always want to go back five minutes ago to keep drinking the same beer forever…….

     •  Reply
  20. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  over 7 years ago

    If the “butterfly effect” is true for the present, just think how much would change by killing one seemingly unimportant person in the past? Let’s say you killed one random Roman, then went back to the future—would you recognize your present?

     •  Reply
  21. Precious rich
    mahnster  over 7 years ago

    “and of the 20 million innocent artists, musicians, authors etc. the world has lost, and fathers, mothers, children etc., that were tortured and massacred because of one evil monster…”

    Good point. I just wish people could see that the we have now been desensitized to care not for the babies in the womb, our next generation, and promote the choice of murder of all the people who deserve to live. Praying for us to see this…

     •  Reply
  22. Bg joshua chamberlain
    russellc64  over 7 years ago

    Prof’s hubbie – You don’t know that. The point Hellcat was making is there could have been a worse monster. Hitler was evil and psychotic, but he was also lacking in tactical skills. In his absence, the conditions that led to his rise to power remain and perhaps someone worse takes his place. Someone capable of winning WW II. If Hitler had been sane enough to follow his own rules (never fight a two front war) and waited to attack Russia until the Allies were used up, things could have gone much worse. Our fight against Nazi Germany was roughly 1/3 of the troops Hitler could put in the field. The Russian contribution to victory in WW II is largely overlooked.

     •  Reply
  23. Eruption   1   rotated
    drdougsteward  over 7 years ago

    What the world would be like today if Hitler were killed before he came to power is completely unknown … might as well discuss how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

     •  Reply
  24. Missing large
    Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 7 years ago

    I would return to any day in September 1970. I have a very good reason…she was 5’ 5", short brown hair, blue eyes, Irish heart (and sometimes temper!), introduced me to vegetarianism & the music of Gordon Lightfoot…

     •  Reply
  25. Fb img 1658781633685
    Number Three  over 7 years ago

    I would go back in time to 7th August, 1957 because that’s when the first ever Andy Capp strip was published.

    And also the year when The Beatles topped the charts.

    xxx

     •  Reply
  26. Me kindergarten  2
    finnygirl Premium Member over 7 years ago

    For an interesting take on this subject, see the original Star Trek’s episode “City on the Edge of Forever.”

     •  Reply
  27. Thinker
    Sisyphos  over 7 years ago

    A time-traveller should be a fully-restricted observer only; but even that protocol has failed in countless cautionary sci-fi tales. So, on the whole, I’d prefer fresh popcorn to nachos, in the here-and-now….

     •  Reply
  28. Img 20220429 172951833 2
    kaffekup   over 7 years ago

    Actually, I’d go to Sarajevo and tell Francis Ferdinand to take a different route, not get killed, and avoid WW I, the first part of WW II. Many people feel it was one war with a 19 year break. We would have avoided many unintended consequences.

     •  Reply
  29. Hellcat
    knight1192a  over 7 years ago

    You’re working off the typical failed logic. You have no clue what would have happened if Hitler had died early, neither do I. You need to ask yourself would it really have made things better or would it have made things worse.

     •  Reply
  30. Missing large
    Davel2468  over 1 year ago

    It’s impossible to change the past. If you went back in time and killed Hitler or even just stopped in he Nazis coming to power, you, in the present, would have no reason to go back in and time in the first place.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine