Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 30, 2014
December 29, 2014
December 31, 2014
Transcript:
Rat: What are you doing, Victor the Vegan?
Victor: Foraging the forest floor for nuts and berries, living as nature intended, instead of harming other creatures.
Rat: And the bear wasn't a vegan.
He could have tried foraging along the perimeter of Zebra’s house. I’m sure the crocs would have welcomed him.On the other hand, probably even the late Victor could have handled the crocs.
Brown and black bears are foragers, not vegans. Like most mid-size mammals, they are designed to work best on an omnivorous diet. Thus their delightful habit of gorging on fish when they can easily get them, to the point where they can barely crawl out of the stream.
Not a vegan or even a vegetarian, but I’m always bemused by all the animosity toward them. I know a few who are nice people, keep it low key, don’t forage in the woods (though they do garden), and are some of the best cooks I’ve ever met.
Can this be the end of Victor the Vegan?This is too easy a triumph for Jef the Cyclist!Besides, eating Victor might make Bear sick to his stomach, and that would be cruelty to animals, Cartoon-Boy!
It reminds me of the Futurama episode “The Problem With Popplers”..“Animals eat other animals. It’s nature.”“No it isn’t. We taught a lion to eat tofu.”The view pans to a pale, emaciated, trembling lion that can barely manage a wheezing cough when it tries to roar.
I am not an arrogant elitist, I just feel better, physically and mentally, not eating animals or dairy. What does floor me is the processed sugary food diet that many of my friends and family still follow and feed to their kids. And I do speak out about it.
If you go out in the woods today you better be in disguise. ‘Cause every bear that ever there was is gathered there together because today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
I don’t actually have any problem with vegans, as long as they don’t have a problem with me. That said, like any “fringe” group, there are some who just can’t leave anyone else to their own choices. Thus, that classic vegan joke:
How can you tell a vegan? You don’t have to, they’ll tell you.
Your reference to the Pastis cameo reminded me of the Sunday “Marmaduke” strip, where the writer/artist, Brad Anderson, put himself in it. We commenters nosed around and found out that he is over ninety! Now, that’s impressive! I don’t normally follow his strip, but now respect him more.
Okay, fine, I’ll go out and say it, I think Vegans are hypocrites because they claim to have the moral high ground by not eating animal products. Well guess what, you’re still eating a living thing, plants are living things too you hypocrites!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hide from the Vegans.
Squizzums over 9 years ago
Victor the Vegan needed to make himself big.
RuinQueenofOblivion over 9 years ago
I am not going to comment on this because it will offend any vegans reading this.
Kaputnik over 9 years ago
He could have tried foraging along the perimeter of Zebra’s house. I’m sure the crocs would have welcomed him.On the other hand, probably even the late Victor could have handled the crocs.
Sherlock Watson over 9 years ago
Too bad Victor wasn’t smarter than the average bear.
Linda1259 over 9 years ago
Most brown and black bears are vegans; although most will turn over rocks to eat moths. Maybe Victor had berry nut breath?
geekboy_x over 9 years ago
Brown and black bears are foragers, not vegans. Like most mid-size mammals, they are designed to work best on an omnivorous diet. Thus their delightful habit of gorging on fish when they can easily get them, to the point where they can barely crawl out of the stream.
Ida No over 9 years ago
The bear still ate nuts, though.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 9 years ago
The bear was merely living as nature intended.
Cameron1988 Premium Member over 9 years ago
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
mjb515 over 9 years ago
If you are eating a diet that nature intended humans to eat, then you are not a vegan. Humans are omnivores,
cdward over 9 years ago
Not a vegan or even a vegetarian, but I’m always bemused by all the animosity toward them. I know a few who are nice people, keep it low key, don’t forage in the woods (though they do garden), and are some of the best cooks I’ve ever met.
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Can this be the end of Victor the Vegan?This is too easy a triumph for Jef the Cyclist!Besides, eating Victor might make Bear sick to his stomach, and that would be cruelty to animals, Cartoon-Boy!
Armitage72 over 9 years ago
It reminds me of the Futurama episode “The Problem With Popplers”..“Animals eat other animals. It’s nature.”“No it isn’t. We taught a lion to eat tofu.”The view pans to a pale, emaciated, trembling lion that can barely manage a wheezing cough when it tries to roar.
Pedmar Premium Member over 9 years ago
“Predation is all natural.” —Garrison Keillor
Plumbob Wilson over 9 years ago
It seems we’re heading for a showdown between Pastis and Wiley. Cue Spaghetti-Western music.
eddie6192 over 9 years ago
Good riddance.
starcandles Premium Member over 9 years ago
Hahahahahaha! Idiot vegans! Love it!!!!!
Charlie Fogwhistle over 9 years ago
I would have chosen the word “evangelists”, but arrogant elitists will work equally well.
jessegooddoggy over 9 years ago
I am not an arrogant elitist, I just feel better, physically and mentally, not eating animals or dairy. What does floor me is the processed sugary food diet that many of my friends and family still follow and feed to their kids. And I do speak out about it.
sarah413 Premium Member over 9 years ago
If you go out in the woods today you better be in disguise. ‘Cause every bear that ever there was is gathered there together because today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
finale over 9 years ago
Speaks volumes about him
usafmsgt over 9 years ago
BETA:Bears Eating Tasty Animals
puddlesplatt over 9 years ago
two Bears were eating a Hunter and one asks the other how ihe was doing… and he says ‘having a ball; and the other replys,… ’your eating too fast!’
tauman over 9 years ago
I don’t actually have any problem with vegans, as long as they don’t have a problem with me. That said, like any “fringe” group, there are some who just can’t leave anyone else to their own choices. Thus, that classic vegan joke:
How can you tell a vegan? You don’t have to, they’ll tell you.
Gokie5 over 9 years ago
Your reference to the Pastis cameo reminded me of the Sunday “Marmaduke” strip, where the writer/artist, Brad Anderson, put himself in it. We commenters nosed around and found out that he is over ninety! Now, that’s impressive! I don’t normally follow his strip, but now respect him more.
Scott S over 9 years ago
Rat didn’t need to run faster than the bear. Rat can run faster than Victor the Vegan!
jbmlaw01 over 9 years ago
One perceives that Victor will have as many lives as Larry.
rshive over 9 years ago
Bears are omnivores. And vegans qualify on that point.
Queen of America over 9 years ago
The Argyle Sweater has Pastis in it today
6.6TA over 9 years ago
Pastis has run through all his Vegan jokes?Look out for that bus, Jef the Cyclist!
RACerri32 over 9 years ago
Bravo, Mr. P., grrrreat way to get rid of an annoying character!
totalspaceman2010 over 9 years ago
Hey Stephan! I loved Scott Hilburn’s strip with you in it today.
Lori Eberly over 9 years ago
Love “The Argyle Sweater” today!
Accidental Leopard over 9 years ago
I have nothing against vegans when they have nothing against me…But irony is delicious.
kzturtlegirl over 9 years ago
If the bear does what bears do in the woods, Victor will be back.
Number Three over 9 years ago
You don’t say?
xxx
Aslan Balaur over 9 years ago
P.E.T.A. = People Eating Tasty Animals.
johngregor Premium Member over 9 years ago
Soon Victor shall be food for plants thus completing the circle of life.
jrowell over 9 years ago
Bears don’t eat people. Get an education, Stephan.
Gretchen's Mom over 9 years ago
Today’s “The Argyle Sweater” comic strip:
brucerun over 9 years ago
As Jim Croce said in "Hard Time Losin’ Man’ “Sometimes You Eat The Bear And Sometimes The Bear Eats You”.
Vet Premium Member over 9 years ago
Pig….“And no longer hungry. The Circle of Life.”
codedaddy over 9 years ago
Too bad no one told him “Bear right”.
Nimsshow over 9 years ago
is it just me or does that bear look like total from the timmy failure books? Someone might be using a copy paste tool here lol.
RuinQueenofOblivion over 9 years ago
Okay, fine, I’ll go out and say it, I think Vegans are hypocrites because they claim to have the moral high ground by not eating animal products. Well guess what, you’re still eating a living thing, plants are living things too you hypocrites!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hide from the Vegans.
RuinQueenofOblivion over 9 years ago
See my above comment.
claire de la lune. over 9 years ago
Poor Victor.
knight1192a almost 9 years ago
He’s extremely harmful. Too bad the bear didn’t rid of of that hypocrite.
One Navy Seal over 3 years ago
Look for the bear necessities the simple bear necessities forget about your worries and your strife!
Jef The Cyclist about 3 years ago
If victor sings the McDonald’s vegan song he will be the stereotypical vegan teacher