Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 14, 2014

And the film’s title could be Behind the Log Cabin Door.:Happy VD, everyone!

Adult film star name and wishes for VD. Oh, the incongruity!.Hearts and Flowers.

So I’d be Spitzie Glenview?

I should also stay out of adult films.

Punkin Witters St.

Cabbie 56th South.

Tanny middletown.

CJ Las Tablas doesn’t sound very nudey, neither does Abe Lincoln. I don’t think the adult entertainer/film star name mash-up actually works…

Could go by the name “Ol’ Stovepipe”.

Ron Jeremy (couldn’t resist)

Charisma Dustin

So, so wrong….

Gerbil (didn’t have a name) King

Pee – Wee Barton.Wouldn’t work.

Gurp Race. That doesn’t work at all. For anything, not just porn.

Duke Park. The Korean John Wayne.

Snowball Greenwood might work? hahaha

Buster Maple

@SherlockWatson“Happy VD, everyone!”

Bruiser Shillings

Sputnik Pierce

“Charky Wheatland”.But then we moved and got a different pet, and if we went with those, it would be, “Pooh Main”. Somehow, neither of these seems particularly enticing.

Puppy Thirty Fifth and one half is going to look odd on my checks.

Tawny Hansel. Not very catchy.

My Dachshund’s name is Wiener and I live on King St.

Cookie Woodtick

Mine would be Hobo Forest Lawn! LOL

mine would be chairman airnheart, weird name ( my first pet was a cat we called chairman meow

Pico de Chateaubriand…..I grew up in Montréal. That fake name doesn’t sound too porn either, even in french.

Mine would actually be decent – Fred Ridgeway. (BTW, the pet was a basset hound… and yes, I named him after the one in ‘Smokey and the Bandit’.)

Roebuck NW 105th. I don’t think so. (Roebuck’s brother, Sears, had died before I was born.)

The film epic, Max Newton would be probably not exactly a best seller.

Bigg Dicksoms

Perky Lee? Much prefer my pen name: Edgar Charles. (namesake, and street of first house I bought)

Please dont call me Poopsie Knollwood…

Pepe Cranford. Doesn’t work even a little bit.

coco bell

Peanut 75? Sounds more like an extra in a Planter’s Commercial.

LOL

Assuming any of us can remember back far enough to the name and species of our first pet.

Pettie Linden . . . Bo Frankfurst . . . Lady Hawthorne . . . Motley Elm . . . . No winner at any point in my life; but Lady Hawthorne might come close.

Pussywillow Atherstone..I like it.

I’d be Harvey 157th. Don’t know how well that would work as a porn name.

Precious Sparrow

Gretel Manley

I feel for my sons – Sally Meadowwood

Pal Crowley. Doesn’t have much of a ring to it.

Tippy Willow

Pudgy Hershey. Must be a niche film.

Pepper Westover. I like it.

Smokey Mason! (Assuming I drop “Hill Road” from the last name)

Combining President’s Day with porn. Classy.

DooDoo Hancock—For once I’m following Rat’s advice!

Missy Seventy-three. Lacks something.

Stormy Fairfax. Good fun, thanx all!

Cannabis Robinson . . . mite work in Colorado . . . ☻

“Muffin McCormick” … maybe, IF I were a girl…

Scary…. I grew up on Booth Street (really!)

Butch Delaware…..YIKES!

Boots Kelton. Don’t think it would work.

The film is Murder at the play.

Butch Galena. That actually does sound like a porn star name.

So I would be called Daisy Jefferson…not really a good name for a male porn star

Pixel East Lorimer… Time to think again methinks.

“Lady Woolsey?” For a male porn star? Maybe I need to reconsider my orientation preference.

As with many many here, the name I came up with would be perfect if I were female: Chastity Palmer.:I had a dog named after Sonny & Cher’s daughter, long before she became a man named Chaz.

Goat doesn’t seem like the kind of person (or should I say goat) that would make an adult film.

my kids would be Maddy Mott………..works.

Weenie Wilcox Ranch

Freckles Meadowlark.

Rusty Rutherford here! Remember, it’s just a game!

yeah, you see the thing is…mine is Fluffy Purr Meow 102nd Ave NE.

Hmm, Ralph Meadowood.

What would Rat’s be?

Actually, I don’t wish to know.

xxx

Blackburn 64th ????

Ok, let’s go for my SECOND pet’s name, and street. Grunch Durkin. (Grunch was a dog. We were three boys. What can I say, the name seemed appropriate)

Hello, I’m Sparky Nichols. I am awfully afraid that works…

I hope all the commenters who used “Name of first pet” as their password or security question are busy changing those right now!

Smudge Hillcroft

Lucky Harnell

Taygo Dexter

My name would be Oscar Mockingbird! I don’t think that’s going to do much for my career.

I’d be Tanya Winterberry.

Could be worse … except for the fact that I’m a guy. Oh, well.

Edna 19th Street? Um, no.

Tippy McKenzie. The alliteration works, but not the sexual preference.

Frisky Looney. Oh the possibilities…..

Given the names of a great any adult film stars, I highly doubt they bother playlng that game.

ok i am just not going to say mine it will be to weird and embarrassing

Bootsie Fields

Hurricane Mixed Farm.

It depends what kind of porn you make.

with a name like “Slimey Sycamore” I’m out too.

Shadow 32nd

He can call his ‘woody’ his Lincoln Log.

bama montecito

Sharntay verona

Kirby Southern.

gazoo sedgewick

Millie Farm…….. but I’m a guy

Wolf Parelvisser, meaning Pearlfisher, could definitely work if you think in innuendo and stay clear from necklaces

Mine would be Milwood Blue.

yeet

Mine would be Lola Pebblewood. It sort of half-works, if you don’t think too hard about the second part.

Maggie Granite? That’s just weird. I’d like a new one, please.

Isabella Hondo almost works.

Bruno Evanston.

Lucky impressionist.