Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 02, 2013
Rat: Hey, Jef the Cyclist... why do you need to wear such tight clothes? Jef: So that you commoners see my every muscle and bulge, all of which is the product of hard work and good nutrition. Why, just look at my package... of healthy snacks I carry with me wherever I go. Censor: Close call, Jef the Cyclist. Jef: I'm fit and clever. Rat: Could you ban Jef for life?
Darkeness1d over 9 years ago
Sherlock Watson over 9 years ago
Trust me, Rat, if the Jefs of the world could be banned for life, someone would have done it long ago.:LICENSE BIKE RIDERS!
codedaddy over 9 years ago
It’s still Thursday in Pacific time. I was confused when no one’s comments appeared before mine. Now I forgot what I was going to post.
Templo S.U.D. over 9 years ago
Hey, Rat, shouldn’t you try to get cartoon Stephan Pastis banned for life too? His lame puns. Ring any bells? (Comic strip censor) If we did that, then “Pearls Before Swine” would be no more.
Montaholic over 9 years ago
Pastis breaks the fourth wall so much it likes it doesn’t even exist. He should start having comics that break the fifth wall where he reveals the cartoon artist that draws the Pastis character… the meta-Pastis. And soon they’d be infinite meta-meta-Pastis characters. Maybe Rat could end up being meta-meta-meta Pastis.
kamb8 over 9 years ago
Jef? Why not Jeff?
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 9 years ago
No junk food there, eh?
jnik23260 over 9 years ago
Any weiners in that package – of healthy snacks?
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Comic Strip Censor needs to have the contents of that package “of healthy snacks” analyzed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jef is juicing. Then, maybe Rat could get his wish. And I’d concur in his satisfaction. Ban Jef! Ban Jef! Ban Jef!
lippyfish over 9 years ago
I think that’s supposed to refer to Jef Mallet who does Frazz and also is a cyclist.
Squizzums over 9 years ago
He’s making fun of friend and avid bike enthusiast Jef Mallett, the creator of the “Frazz” comic strip whose main character bikes a lot.
VictoryRider over 9 years ago
I swear I didn’t see lippyfish’s comment when I wrote mine. Probably because I had just gotten up and hadn’t had my coffee yet. :-P
vwdualnomand over 9 years ago
so, biking around france hopped on drugs and reused blood for 3 weeks is an accomplishment?
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 9 years ago
Censorship is always worse than the worst pornography!
corzak over 9 years ago
Well, of course I knew the national syndicates that distribute newspaper comic strips have overly strict censorship.But what I didn’t know is that the censors themselves were obligated to wear such ridiculous top hats. Reminiscent of the "Mad Hatter’.
northoftown over 9 years ago
I love the lame puns!
flashnzoom over 9 years ago
Chicks in lycra good, Jefs in lycra not so good. Cylcing is good clean fun.
hylee7894 over 9 years ago
Thats Jef Mallet, the writer of Frazz, right?
hylee7894 over 9 years ago
Thats Jef Mallet, the writer of Frazz, right?
edclectic over 9 years ago
The cartoonist gets published, I get flagged.
singlefemalelaywer over 9 years ago
Nice double cut here, cycling clothes and Lance Armstrong.
Totalloser Premium Member over 9 years ago
Cycling shorts prevent chaffing, boils and other issues.I would never ride without a helmet since I live in an area where drivers believe stopping at a stop sign is optional.
HankTheSock over 9 years ago
Hahaha, oh dear…
Vet Premium Member over 9 years ago
Like a song my younger brother use to go around the house singing. I think its a Weird Al song.“I wear tight pants, I always stuff a sock in, It always gets the ladies all to talking.” My brother would sing that line all day. Now he is a computer geek working for the Government.
knight1192a over 9 years ago
I don’t always agree with Rat, but this is one time he’s absolutely right. Jeff the Cyclist needs to go.
Laird Nelson over 9 years ago
marshalljpeters Premium Member over 9 years ago
I’m almost surprised Pastis got away with this one.
Strod over 9 years ago
@Tacopielvr, @olfartCool it down, guys. I understand and share your frustrations with @Nabuq’s extremely misinformed comments, but you shouldn’t lower yourselves to personal insults. Respond to his comments to expose his ignorance and bigotry, but avoid just attacking him personally. Your goal should be to make unsuspecting people realize the @Nabuq is a fraud. Just insulting him does not achieve that goal and only makes you look bad.
chriscc63 over 9 years ago
AS A CYCLIST, I am a little offended. I cycle to stay fit but are hardly arrogant about it. In fact, I am self conscious about what can be seen in the pants. Stephan please at least introduce and portray another cyclist as being normal against this Jef character.
Number Three over 9 years ago
“And I’m conceited…”
kzturtlegirl over 9 years ago
I like to see Jef the Cyclist, because it often portends reciprocal action over on Frazz.
bgby4884 over 9 years ago
ReasonReason? Or SlamBrevetYou Guys Are Silly! You’ve Never Seen Motorists Throw Out Trash? You’ve Never SeenTrafficJams? Drivers Who Won’t Get Out Of The Way? Never Seen Motorists ride In The Left Lane? Run Stop Signs Or Lights? Never SeenThem Pull Out In Front Of People Or Slam On Brakes For No Reason?
comixrock0124 over 9 years ago
I bet they banned Jef for life.
amaryllis2 Premium Member over 9 years ago
@Nabuq: my oldest remembered going with me when she was little to Children’s Hospital repeatedly to visit my friend’s son who’d been hit by a car—he’d had no helmet—and so at 13 she had her helmet on when she had a one-bike accident and flipped and landed head first. She had a concussion and a broken bone but no lifelong brain injury like the other kid. I thanked her for wearing her helmet when she was where I wouldn’t know if she did or not.
Gokie5 over 9 years ago
I’m surprised that no one mentioned that Jef looks kind of mesomorphic (muscular build) for one of those lycra-wearing hot shot bicycle riders. The ones that hit the streets in droves on Saturdays and Sundays here all seem to be quite ectomorphic (thin, wiry). (Cf. Calvin’s father.) I suppose Jef needed to look that way to help the joke along. BTW, Lemont in Candorville had a “package” joke when the Anthony Weiner debacle first occurred.
Hawthorne over 9 years ago
“I just hope that more cyclists don’t die as a result of this ambition/competition.”
I don’t think anybody wants to see cyclists die, but it begins to look as if that might be what it takes to teach them some manners and sense. Might be different on your patch, but locally, it really is that bad.
And maybe you could spare some compassion for the motorist who can’t dodge the idiot cycler who turns right under his wheels. Frankly, that is one of my worst nightmares.
lakita_lover over 9 years ago
LOL! Good one.
ursamaj over 9 years ago
Funny he should brag. I thought bike seats cut off circulation & pretty much guarenteed an empty package for male bike enthusiasts. I was relieved to find out they wouldn’t be breeding more of their ilk.
Alms4Thorby over 9 years ago
That package should have been an environmentally friendly bag.
childrenspoems Premium Member over 9 years ago
That one is absolutely the funniest comic I’ve seen in years! Can’t stop laughing! The neighbors are eyeing me warily and slowly backing away.
lmonteros over 9 years ago
I had a mind-blowing experience the other day. Going south to turn right onto a freeway onramp, two cars ahead of me. The light turned red. First car stopped. And wouldn’t go. Why? Because a cyclist was coming up on the right, and of course we all knew he wouldn’t stop for the light.
BUT WAIT!!! HE DID! He did stop! And it took us about 15 seconds to realize he was going to wait for the light to turn green, so we could turn in front of him.
Wowee. That’s a first.
joecool2013 over 9 years ago
Snoopy_Fan over 9 years ago
I knew something like that was coming (no pun intended) when he said “bulge.”
Heh, heh… He said “bulge”…
sdhardie+comics over 9 years ago
&@^$ in a box! haha
BenjaminSilversten over 3 years ago
first appearance of comic strip censor
Boxo croco is tired about 2 years ago
First appearance of the comic strip censor
robertiris about 1 year ago
I think Jef must be on tiktok