Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 20, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: Hey, neighbor Bob. Thanks for meeting me. Bob: Sure, Pig. Whaddya need? I've got a meeting for work I have to get to. Pig: Well, listen. I know you have trouble meeting women so I wanted to introduce you to the nice lady sitting next to me. She's single. Bob: I dunno, Pig. I haven't been with a female since I had a girlfriend in the fifth grade. Pig: So? Bob: So I don't know how to act around them. It's been a long time. Pig: Aww, what's there to know?...Gina, this is my neighbor Bob. Gina: Pleasure to meet you... Bob: EWWW! GIRL COOTIES! GIRL COOTIES! Gina: I'll be leaving now. Pig: Bob...girls don't have- Bob: TAG! NOW YOU'VE GOT GIRL COOTIES.
Bilan over 11 years ago
Dang, I thought Neighbor Bob was the normal one.
Pelahnar over 11 years ago
And I was so ready for a pun..,
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 11 years ago
Hmmmmm. Autobiographical, Stephan?
legaleagle48 over 11 years ago
I can see why Neighbor Bob hasn’t been with a girl since the fifth grade.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
Well, it’s clear why this Neighbor Bob (one of a long line of Neighbor Bobs, some of whom have died from living next to Rat and/or Li’l Guard Duck) is single and always will be, having the emotional development of a five-year-old! Kinda feel sorry for Gina and even for well-intentioned Pig, whose “good deed” has bombed!
orinoco womble over 11 years ago
Bob is an engineer?
eddie6192 over 11 years ago
Pig ’ll be in big trouble if Pigita ever finds out.
thetraveller4 over 11 years ago
Even Pig is smart enough to know there’s no such thing as “girl cooties”…
Kathy Freeman over 11 years ago
Cooties!!!
SwimsWithSharks over 11 years ago
Pig’s such an expert on romance. Just ask Pigita.
Vonne Anton over 11 years ago
TAG! Now you ALL have cooties!!!
SuperDaveP270 over 11 years ago
I hate girl cooties
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
Gina is now en route to a lesbian bar…can’t say I blame her!
JohnFredC over 11 years ago
Lame can be very funny. But sometimes (and too frequently lately in Pearls…) lame is just that: lame. Losing your edge?
ncalifgirl58 over 11 years ago
LOL Cooties in my day were the symbol of the grossness of touching or getting near the opposite sex. No one in my class wanted them!
codedaddy over 11 years ago
The ritual my daughters had back in the seventies as teens was more gender neutral. Upon tagging you shout “Boogie germs! Checkouts!”. (The “checkouts” prohibits retaliation). Still makes me laugh to think of it.
cubswin2016 over 11 years ago
Is Bob related to Peter Pan?
byamrcn over 11 years ago
That’s gonna be some meeting he’s going to.
Hoodude over 11 years ago
SLM
Rickapolis over 11 years ago
I remember playing that game in fifth grade. By sixth, I think, I didn’t mind the cooties so much.
Number Three over 11 years ago
How…. embarassing.
xxx
nanaochanisluv over 11 years ago
It’s sad when pig is the mature one
EspressoCity over 11 years ago
This is exactly why I can never get girls’ phone numbers!
ikezdude over 11 years ago
that’s one weird neighbour.
tsandl over 11 years ago
He looks like a successful business man. You’d think his company’s health plan would include something as basic as cootie shots.
becca007 over 11 years ago
I guess some people never grow up
lynnskay over 11 years ago
So, how did he have a girlfriend in the 5th grade? Was he immune to cooties that year?
knight1192a over 11 years ago
Since fifth grade? With that third grade attitude it’s shocking he had a girlfriend in fifth grade.
cyberguy over 11 years ago
Was totally expecting Pig to do something stupid. Pastis must want to keep us on our toes
singkong2012 about 10 years ago
so many people named bob sigh
Processed Mouse Loaf almost 4 years ago
Funny Story: When I was in fifth grade or something, some kid drooled on this chair, and that freaked everyone out. Later my classmates drew a red “X” on the chair with permanent marker to signify it was the “Drool Chair”. If you accidentally sat on the chair, you would have cooties and be shunned for at least a month.
alantain 11 months ago
Eeewww! Boy cooties!