Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 10, 2012
Pig: How come after a holiday with my family, I always feel worse about myself? Goat: Oh, Pig. I'm sure they don't mean to do that... They probably just- Rat: Because life is like attending a football game. Your friends are the ones you go to the game with. Your family are the weirdos you find siting around you. Pig: So those are the fat people throwing bon bons at me. Goat: Pig, that's not- Rat: Yeah. So blow this in their face.