Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 21, 2002
"Who are all these guys?" "Stupid people. I've taken it upon myself to filter them out of society and put them here, out of harm's way." "Yeah, I'm Dirk. I recline my airplane seat all the way back and crush the knees of whoever sits behind me." "I'm Myrna. I obviously black a whole grocery aisle with my shopping cart while looking for my favorite cake mix." "And I'm Fred. I make unnecessary personal calls on my cell phone in public places." "I don't think this is right. ...I prefer to believe in the fundamental goodness of all people." "Dude... So the Pig's like 'No way, dude, I don't want to go in the box,' and the Rat's like, 'Dude, you're going in the box...'..."