Pat Oliphant for October 22, 1994
Man 1: My opponent is a lousy, philandering liar of doubtful parentage and even more doubtful ability, and anti-God and unAmerican, too! Man 2: Yeah? Man 1: Yeah! Man 2: My opponent is a no-good, stinkin' polecat with the manners of a jackal and the intelligence to match his ugly appearance, and a goddam bigot as well! Voter: How do you vote when you think they're both right? Little Man: Can't they address the issues? Punk: These are the issues.