Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 19, 2022

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    eastern.woods.metal  over 1 year ago

    Look on the bright side

    You had the bedroom fun, Billy has to pay to raise it

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    marilynnbyerly  over 1 year ago

    Dilbert became Bill Gates’ pool boy.

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    Superfrog  over 1 year ago

    You can have your kid back if you upgrade to Windows 11.

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    cdcoventry  over 1 year ago

    It would be a more honest representation of how our lives are currently controlled..we are pretty close to the corporate nation-state anyway. I’m fully expecting the “Shadowrun” conceit of people basically pledge to corps from cradle-to-grave in return for education, work, and living accommodations..just not with the modern Elves and other fantasy tropes roaming around.

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    GreasyOldTam  over 1 year ago

    That’s only for girls. It’s the only way they could figure out how to sexually harass them with all those pesky lawsuits. Of course, the down side is that they have to wait 18 years until it’s not child molesting, now that Jeffrey Epstein is dead.

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    KenTheCoffinDweller  over 1 year ago

    Well as long as Microsoft is paying for all the Maintenance and other upkeep for the next 20 years. I don’t see the problem. If they are doing that then I can afford the Dozen Roses, Box of good chocolates, and week at a spa for the wife to cover her “Pain and aggravation” that she suffered on their behalf.

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    in.amongst  over 1 year ago

    Yup! When a software update leads to an hardware malfunction.

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    Jason Allen  over 1 year ago

    Pretty good timing seeing as how Microsoft just announced they reached an agreement to purchase Activision Blizzard for $70 billion in cash.

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    GiantShetlandPony  over 1 year ago

    With few exceptions, if you want to use the product they don’t really give you a choice to disagree with the agreement.

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    A Common 'tator  over 1 year ago

    True story

    Not one customer of online computer game seller Gamestation read the terms and conditions of sale on 1st April, the company has said. In an April Fools’ Day prank, it has claimed the legal right to the souls of all those customers.

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    Imagine  over 1 year ago

    If you don’t hit the “agree” button before sex, then there is no sex.

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    EuroHomer  over 1 year ago

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    Brockie  over 1 year ago

    Children, a whole lot more fun making them than raising them.

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    Jeff0811  over 1 year ago

    And you must name your first child EULA.

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    khmo  over 1 year ago

    If only it were that easy

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    rmercer Premium Member over 1 year ago

    No problem. It’s only the firstborn.

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    dflak  over 1 year ago

    Then they have such legal gobbly-gook that the Supreme Court would have difficulty interpreting it.

    According to my understanding the user agreement for Office 365 states that anything you develop using Word, Excel, etc. becomes the property of Microsoft.

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    Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member over 1 year ago

    The only unbelievable part of this is that Microsoft actually wants your screaming crotch goblins.

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    bobpeters61  over 1 year ago

    They actually do claim a proprietary level of control over the hardware you own if you use their spyware-ridden OS. That’s why I use Linux.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Not to be overly dramatic, but most companies, governments and other large enterprises usually fall by rotting from within.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Believe It or Not!

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    sandpiper  over 1 year ago

    What is aggravating is constantly being pushed into a new phase of whatever by companies that cut off service and updates for software or procedures that are satisfactory as they are. Same for merchandise et alia.

    Your original phone that you liked – gone. PC software that fills your need – gone. Auto you enjoyed driving and could repair – gone. Clothing that fit and lasted more than 2 washings before mfg went offshore – gone. All replaced by the next big thing. Being herded has become a way of life, even for independent minds.

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    david_42  over 1 year ago

    Rough translation of T&C: You don’t own the software, it might work, it might destroy your computer; in any case, we can sell any of your personal information that is entered and we owe you nothing.

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    MS72  over 1 year ago

    Cheaper than DISNEY!

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    nicka93  over 1 year ago

    They are working on “organic” memory so possibly…

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    fgerbil46  over 1 year ago

    Is Mrs Garrett overseeing this?

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    Display  over 1 year ago

    And with their usual lax security you can never tell if the updates were snuck in from another developer.

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    preacherman  over 1 year ago

    You know, this could work out well. The kid will still call you dad, and your wife, mommy, all the while Microsoft gets the bill. And if the young adult you end up with ends up working for Microsoft, what’s the harm?

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    Bruce1253  over 1 year ago

    Ummm. . . Microsoft? One of your kids just upchucked on your laptop. Turns out you did not get the puke proof upgrade.

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    mindjob  over 1 year ago

    Always hated Microsoft, but I realize one of their problems is they have so many PC builders with different parts to content with. That’s why I can’t update the software. With Apple I can always get the updates.

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  31. Missing large  over 1 year ago

    The kid will grow up to lead a hostile takeover of a big computer company.

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    txmystic  over 1 year ago

    first born? I always thought μSoft took an arm and a leg first…

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    ArtClogg1  over 1 year ago

    Which one’s Blizzard?

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    cldisme  over 1 year ago

    Oh, come on people! This strip was just ripe for a Microsoft Bob joke. I am not MS-savvy enough to make one, but it was right there for the taking.

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    diegot  over 1 year ago

    The kid’ll be working on Windows 13 someday.

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    bleu nez  over 1 year ago

    with just a few changes that you will appreciate…. that we won’t explain…

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I loved the episode of “South Park” in which Steve Jobs revealed that the Apple EULA allowed him to sew one of the boys into the middle of a human-caterpillar chain.

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    Darque Hellmutt  over 1 year ago

    End stage of “The Great Reset”. It’s coming if we don’t wake up NOW.

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    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Oh good. No diapers to change, no midnight feedings.

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    boltjenkins1  over 1 year ago

    Could be worse, could be EA

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    smartty cat  over 1 year ago

    and when you’re lost your password you have lost your soul to the endless gyrations of the company store. Your fate will still be unlearned as the simple password that won’t ever return.

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    willie_mctell  over 1 year ago

    It’s the Witcher surprise.

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    sisterea  over 1 year ago

    Powered by Google

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    tee929  over 1 year ago


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    Daeder  over 1 year ago

    It also gives them power of attorney over you.

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    COL Crash  over 1 year ago

    I’m glad I usually decline all of their suggestions unless I can see some real value for myself.

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    locake  over 1 year ago

    What is Microsoft going to do with a bunch of babies? They are expensive to feed and care for and they can’t put them to work for years.

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    DaBump Premium Member over 1 year ago

    well, we’re not quite there YET…

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    Alverant  over 1 year ago

    What would Microsoft want with YOUR kid anyway?

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    bakana  over 1 year ago

    But, the Even Finer Print says that you still have to pay for their College.

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    K M Brown Premium Member over 1 year ago

    With all the miles of stuff they want you to read, for all I know I’ve sold out my kid and grandkids….

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