Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 03, 2021

When he pulls on the rope, does he go up or does something come down ?

How much does a ghost weigh? It might be easy.

Since it’s Heaven maybe he’ll get that nice gooshy feeling we all got when we climbed that rope! But he’ll get it with a happy ending. Heaven, remember?

He has to CLIMB the rope just as he tortured so many kids in his gym classes!

Wonder what’s in store for engineers?

There’s an iron at the end. Kevin’s helping Peter today & this guy was mean to cats.

God is an Iron. Based on the fact that a felon is one who commits felony.

Does it smell like a gym up there?

There should be a whole series of these kinds of toons for different jobs (my suggestion for the Peloton personal trainer: a gate to heaven that’s powered by a stationary bike that requires 100 rpms of pedaling for an hour to open).

Reminds me of the time they let me ring the church bell.

The ropes are gone in my old schools’ gyms. They were for readying graduates for military service. Instead of climbing on cargo nets they now fly them in in helicopters and rappel in or land and let them off.

Got me again Wiley! Thanks

Saint Peter should also make the PE teacher do the full “Presidential Physical Fitness Test” and score in the 90th percentile to get through the Pearly Gates, else back to a purgatory full of pull ups, shuttle dashes, sit ups and long distance runs…..

“We don’t want no quitters in here, bub. Go big or go downstairs!”

Mentioned before. New gym teacher was buff – and rough. Yelled, pushed, harassed. Ironically, his last name was Comfort. 3 years later he joined the FBI. Probably didn’t like it much. No swat teams in the 1950’s.

Climb that rope!

If it’s Catholic Heaven the length of the rope reflects the number of sins the gym teacher would need to atone for on the way up (see purgatory). Know one HS teacher whose rope would be miles long.

The irony is it goes on forever.

Did he move the reception area to a different place than uzual, or is Gym Teacher climbing up the rope just to climb back down again?

Isn’t that just purgatory?

To the Gym Teacher: Attest to your presidency of the Led Zeppelin fan club.

God’s finger

Was there EVER a more totally useless exercise in sadism then being forced to try to climb that damn rope??? My solution was simple. I’d look up at it, then look at the coach and say “Just give me a zero, I’m not killing myself for nothing!”

In Jr High we would have a gymnastic unit and we would be tested on in front of the class on each piece of equipment: parallel bars, horse, balance beam… which made climbing the rope an after thought.

Maybe it goes to Super Heaven.

Okay, blow the whistle and lets just see what happens. I got 5 that says he doesn’t make it over 10’.

We are called Physical Education teachers…and I practice what I teach. Or at least I did before I retired.

It’s obvious, God has a sense of humor, she gave men nipples, right?

As a retired elementary school teacher , your story breaks my heart. That PE teacher had serious problems.

And the clock is starting now….

There were many things I did in gym class, but I never had to climb a rope.

Maybe there is an ACME anvil on the other end of the rope…

1957, middle school, So. Cal. . P.E. as it was called. Our gym teacher, WW 11 jarhead. You were ladies!

The sadist descends to his proper place

Lurch mysteriously appears – “You rang?”

I remember often seeing that rope in the gym, but thankfully, I was never told to climb it.

STORY ABOUT W.C. FIELDS—-

He once hired a butler with a huge physique who came from Germany and belonged to a Tumereverin(exercisecult).He hung a couple of “rings” in the garage and worked out on them.

One day,the rings detatched from the ceiling and“he took a wrenching header into a pile of old furniture”.

As he lost consciousness,“he heard hoarse,manaiciallaughter coming from a darkened corner of the garage”.

Fields had named that particular butler “The Chimpanzee”

Since I’m going to hell, all I have to worry about is walking down stairs

Up ya go, tubby.

AKA: “The Revenge of the Nerds”

I well remember climbing those gym ropes every day. And I’m grateful for the resulting fitness.

Maybe God hired Kevin from Home Alone to rig the climbing rope. it might be tied to a bag of cement.

Fear of heights always inhibited my rope climbing. I only got stuck a couple of times. The physical part wasn’t that hard but the panic attack was hard to deal with.

Once you get your new body it will be a snap to do. Everyone will be the same age and look like Olympians. Also no one will recognize another.

Can’t recall if it was middle school or high school, but I got up the rope okay. Coming down, with the rope serpentined around my right leg an over that foot, you could use your left foot on top of the right foot and rope to act as a brake, except I thought I could do that and not hold on with my hands so tightly. Wrong! By the time I had gone the rope was slimed with sweat and with me not grabbing as tightly as I should, I slid down most of the way, resulting in a lovely rope burn on my right calf. It eventually got all scabby, which grossed out the girls, so I guess there was a silver lining. Oh, there were girls! So it was middle school. I went to an all boys high school. By then I wouldn’t have been so pleased to gross out the girls :)

Maybe Heaven is high enough up that there’s no gravity so… no problem! I suspect God is much nicer than we give credit, just like kids think parents stop them from doing stupid/harmful stuff b/c they’re “mean”.

At my high school you had to climb to the top, hold on with one hand and slap the wooden rafter to prove you made it.

Poetic justice, can the beer gutted gym teacher do what he derided thousands of skinny kids for not being capable of?!?

We never had a rope hanging from the ceiling

I don’t recall this rope climbing activity in P.E., but I do remember that I really hated that class since I had no athletic skills or interests at all. I usually got a “C” for trying most terms, which often kept me off the honor roll. Luckily, none of my gym teachers were the monsters some of you have described in this thread.

For me Heaven would be an awfully dull place for I am sure most of my best friends are going to end up elsewhere.

Doesn’t look like any gym teacher I’ve ever come across ..

If he can’t reach the Top of the rope, that Hole in the clouds right underneath it leads straight to Hell.

Oh, that cursed climbing rope! This makes me feel like Marvin the Robot when he saw that giant sign…