Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 09, 2021

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    stevesilver48  3 months ago

    Especially if it’s what helped kill him.

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    EasternWoods  3 months ago

    If you power it up he’ll be well done

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    sirbadger  3 months ago

    If he’s a vampire, he’ll be extremely angry.

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    Concretionist  3 months ago

    Best tanned corpse in the cemetery!

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    Wilde Bill  3 months ago

    Now what are you going to do with his hyperbaric chamber?

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    Digital Frog  3 months ago

    ♪♫…So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that’s it hanging on the shed! All together now…♪♫

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    wiatr Premium Member 3 months ago

    Add a power cord connection and he’ll maintain that tanned look for centuries!

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    strikklybizness  3 months ago

    If he’s going to The Other Place, a tanning bed would be a bit superfluous…

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    Doug K  3 months ago

    I kind of like this idea. Would it be legal to be buried in a tanning bed for a coffin?

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    A Hip loving Canadian...  3 months ago

    It was either that or turn it into an air fryer.

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    mister_lister  3 months ago

    Wonder what they will do with the Reality Show Host that got his tan, hair color, information and politics from a bottle? Reminds me of hit song from yester-years: “What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor, What Shall We Do With Drunken Sailor, Early in the Mourning….”

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    keenanthelibrarian  3 months ago

    Notice his nose sticking out over the top of the casket.

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    dot-the-I  3 months ago

    “Sin*sear* condolences.”

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    mikeyman  3 months ago

    George Hamilton right?

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    Lawrence.S  3 months ago

    Pity the tanning bed wasn’t large enough to let him be buried on his stationary bike. Two thing he bought that took up a lot of space in the apartment, and were never used.

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  16. Whatever  3 months ago

    No worries about skin cancer. Crank it up to 11 and there’ll be no need for cremation.

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    david_42  3 months ago

    That will be the basis of a PhD thesis in 300 years.

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    shorzy  3 months ago

    No more orange!

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    Jeffin Premium Member 3 months ago

    This really tans my hide.

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    Zebrastripes  3 months ago

    Money burned a hole in his pocket…

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    sandpiper  3 months ago

    I guess there are dumber ways to get a tan, just not quite so terminal.

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    c141starlifter  3 months ago

    If he has an orange combover, we can guess who it is

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    Linguist  3 months ago

    “Let There Be Light!”

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 3 months ago

    From Wikipedia: “The American Way of Death is an exposé of abuses in the funeral home industry in the United States, written by Jessica Mitford and published in 1963. An updated revision, The American Way of Death Revisited, completed by Mitford just before her death in 1996, appeared in 1998.”

    In it, she “documents the ways in which funeral directors take advantage of the shock and grief of friends and relatives of loved ones to convince them to pay far more than necessary for the funeral and other services”, notably including caskets.

    “In keeping with her wishes, Mitford herself had an inexpensive funeral, which cost a total of US$533.31 (equivalent to $880 in 2020). She was cremated without a ceremony, and the ashes scattered at sea; just the cremation itself cost US$475 (equivalent to $784 in 2020). The funeral company was the Pacific Interment Service, which prides itself on ‘dignity, simplicity, affordability’.”

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    mistercatworks  3 months ago

    Sorry, those lamps have to go to a hazardous waste disposal site. :)

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    BHALL77801  3 months ago

    And it’s solar powered…

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    rgjuul  3 months ago

    Oh, I thought the orange guy used spray paint.

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    Mayor Snorkum Premium Member 3 months ago

    At the funeral I’m hoping to see, the initials on the wreath will be “DJT” rather than “RIP.”

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    Linguist  3 months ago

    As my granny used to say: “Tis not the cough that carries ye off, it’s the coffin they carry ye off in!”

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    Night-Gaunt49  3 months ago

    That was my mother. I am the eternal realist.

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  3 months ago

    He won’t need to be cremated, he’s getting desiccated.

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    tee929  3 months ago

    Instead of a eulogy, maybe they should have a roast instead…..

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    eddi_tbh  3 months ago

    Set it on “High” and get the urn ready.

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    Mediatech  3 months ago

    Apparently he’s not expecting much sunlight where he’s going.

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    JenSolo02  3 months ago

    And a modern casket cost just as much…

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