Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 16, 2020


Hide All Comments
  1. Wb
    mwksix  5 months ago

    You’ll have my full attention this evening because I’m not trying to learn a script right now…

     •  Reply
  2. Bead braid p
    I Mad Am I  5 months ago

    How polite! I would be expecting Howling Laughter from the Kitchen for the same Faux Pas. ;)

     •  Reply
  3. 1628996 t1
    enigmamz  5 months ago

    “Hi, I’ll not be leaving a tip, but won’t tell you.


     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    wldhrsy2luv  5 months ago

    Smirk under your mask while we head for the door!

     •  Reply
  5. 495px trismegistos
    Ἑρμῆς ὁ Τρισμέγιστος, Premium Member 5 months ago

    Chauvinism and overcriticism , typical of the French .

     •  Reply
  6. Gocomicsluna2
    Leojim  5 months ago

    Expressing sarcasm is difficult with a mask because people can’t see your smile/smirk.

     •  Reply
  7. Bluedog
    Bilan  5 months ago

    “We will be leaving you a 20% tip. But we haven’t decided what it’s 20% of.”

     •  Reply
  8. Tf 117
    RAGs  5 months ago
    All of those supercilious waiters are upset because their sneering is wasted.
     •  Reply
  9. 3dflags usaal1 5
    Alabama Al  5 months ago

    We don’t care if the wine “matches” or not – it’s what we WANT!

     •  Reply
  10. 654px red eyed tree frog   litoria chloris edit1
    Superfrog  5 months ago

    Ok, Andy. Now read us the specials and give us full descriptions and recommendations before we order the steak and chips with 2 glasses of the house red.

     •  Reply
  11. Image
    kaffekup   5 months ago

    I do miss being able to smile at people. One lady’s mask today did have large smiling lips on it.

     •  Reply
  12. Trollspry
    Enter.Name.Here  5 months ago

    The only thing different is the mask. Smirking is always on the house.

     •  Reply
  13. Pictures 087
    Baarorso  5 months ago

    Since you’re the waiter Miseur Andre, why don’t you take the customers’ orders and THEN recommend a wine or two that would pair nicely with them? (First rule of sales….know your product!)

     •  Reply
  14. Saywhat 2016
    Say What?  5 months ago

    “Fine. I fart in your general direction, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.”

     •  Reply
  15. Missing large
    lordhoff  5 months ago
    and we will be robbing the restaurant blind! Who could ID us?
     •  Reply
  16. Oldwolfcookoff
    The Old Wolf  5 months ago

    I’ll have the “canard à l’orange,” and bring me a jug of Ripple.

     •  Reply
  17. Mecopy
    A_Dream4u  5 months ago

    I’ve learned to smile with my eyes, whilst simultaneously sticking my tongue out!

     •  Reply
  18. Profile 6
    dot-the-I  5 months ago

    Note: Smirk-free establishments distance with old orange cones rather than felt roping.

     •  Reply
  19. Missing large
    Whatcouldgowrong  5 months ago

    Going to a restaurant while it’s necessary to wear a mask doesn’t even make the top 100 on my (Things I’d Like) To-Do list.

     •  Reply
  20. Ignatz
    Ignatz Premium Member 5 months ago

    That one drives me crazy. If I feel like having red wine with my damned fish, I’ll have red wine with my damned fish.

     •  Reply
  21. Gocomic avatar
    sandpiper  5 months ago

    As long as your eyes and brow are visible, your expression can be read reasonably well. After all those are the first indicators preceding speech.

     •  Reply
  22. Missing large
    1953Baby  5 months ago

    Do people really worry about this stuff?!? I don’t know wines at all, can’t drink red, so I usually go with a white or rose—IF I don’t have tonic water with a twist of lime. pin

     •  Reply
  23. Missing large
    bbenoit  5 months ago

    I don’t drink, therefore I don’t care, about your pair.

     •  Reply
  24. Missing large
    Bill The Nuke  5 months ago

    I’m Bill and I’ll be smirking beneath this mask when I calculate your tip.

     •  Reply
  25. Roundel of sweden.svg
    rhpii  5 months ago

    Can you add some ice to the 2009 St. Emilion? Oh and bring a straw too.

     •  Reply
  26. Picture
    ChristineMurphy  5 months ago

    Which is why my daughter loves wearing the mask. When she accidentally makes eye contact with someone, she doesn’t go into a panic trying to smile. In some ways, she can just pretend she’s invisible on her now weekly trip out of the house.

     •  Reply
  27. Snoopy laughs
    HappyDog Premium Member 5 months ago

    Whatever. It’s nice to finally see the interior of that corner establishment that Wiley uses so often.

     •  Reply
  28. B 58 hustler bomber
    John Leonard Premium Member 5 months ago

    On the way out the door, I would inform André : “My mask hid my smile as I stiffed you on your tip, You’ll find the penny by my napkin. Too bad, I’m usually a 25 – 30% tipper.”

     •  Reply
  29. Missing large
    Rabies65  5 months ago

    Often the servers have no clue about pairings. Beware answers with the word “popular.”

     •  Reply
  30. Missing large
    Al Nala  5 months ago

    We’re leaving now.

     •  Reply
  31. Kirby close up with poppies behind   close cropped
    mistercatworks  5 months ago

    Classically, waiters would have large mustaches to conceal their smirking.

     •  Reply
  32. Locke ca
    rdublu  5 months ago

    He Literally just blew his cover!

     •  Reply
  33. N1495118875 241922 2408
    Ermine Notyours  5 months ago

    The finest restaurants have straws so you can sip your wine with masks on.

     •  Reply
  34. Profile msn
    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 5 months ago

    TMI. Just bring the grub Festus.

     •  Reply
  35. Picture
    JosephShriver  5 months ago

    Do customers really wear a mask in a restaurant? What do you do with your mask as you are eating?

     •  Reply
  36. Mario500
    Mario500  5 months ago

    (imagines version of the cartoon involving its characters wearing transparent shields (or face shields) instead of “masks” for “FULL-DISCLOSURE DINING”)

     •  Reply
  37. Pulse
    jal333  5 months ago

    If you look at people’s face, they smile with their eyes! It’s amazing what we see/don’t see.

     •  Reply
  38. Img 0306
    Vangoghdog01  5 months ago

    I guess I am a “Philistine” I prefer a dry, white Johannesburg Riesling. So, that is what I order with my steak.

     •  Reply
  39. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  5 months ago

    Maybe I’m paranoid, maybe I deserve it, but I’ve wondered at LEAST six times before breakfast if waiters ever spit in my food……..I’d rather not take the chance just now.

     •  Reply
  40. Missing large
    Buckeye67  5 months ago

    Red with meat and white with chicken and fish, it’s no biggie.

     •  Reply
  41. Facepalm bear 2
    Lablubber   5 months ago

    But “I don’t wanna wear a mask. My righhhts are being violated.” pairs well with anything.

     •  Reply
  42. Pete
    psampson  5 months ago

    You know that big tip you were GOING to get, Andree?

     •  Reply
  43. Missing large
    57BelAir  5 months ago

    We are not expected to continue to wear the mask at the table. That’s why all the servers have to wear theirs.

     •  Reply
  44. C0f0d5c7 e87a 41ba 947f f2c872d0c3a6
    DCBakerEsq  5 months ago

    I always outsmart the waiter by ordering beer. #PBR

     •  Reply
  45. Missing large
    rob mccallum Premium Member 5 months ago

    I only like red wine. white wine is too dry for my taste, so i just pick a wine and ask the waiter to select what I’m eating since i don’t have a clue what the etiquette is.

     •  Reply
  46. George jetson
    Bicycle Dude  5 months ago

    Look at the eyes, if they sparkle, they’re smiling. :-)

     •  Reply
  47. Missing large
    lesannc  5 months ago

    All snobbery etc. aside, the “right wine” paired with the “right food” magnificently enhances both.

     •  Reply
  48. Toughcat
    bakana  5 months ago

    Where are the Virus Cones that are supposed to go over the tables while customers are chewing their overpriced entrees?

     •  Reply
  49. 06 us2c ue24
    Sailor46 USN 65-95  5 months ago

    I find pair of wine and food quite easy, I eat food and I drink wine. How hard was that?

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Non Sequitur