Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 30, 2020

  1. Birthcontrol
    Dtroutma  over 2 years ago

    Be prepared!

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    mr_sherman Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Or a five foot Irishman.

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    stellanova87  over 2 years ago

    If it wasn’t for my kids I would swear I have been social distancing my whole life.

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    GROG Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Mines double that.

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    sirbadger  over 2 years ago

    For sneezes, you’re going to need a longer pole.

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    syzygy47  over 2 years ago

    Social distancing with what Jeff Dunham’s Jose Jalepeno would say, a steeeek.

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    Concretionist  over 2 years ago

    I’ve been very surprised how much I miss being able to just go into town (only a couple of miles) to buy a widgit for my next project. The other day, the toilet seat hinge failed. I’m not going to go buy a replacement until it doesn’t feel like taking my life in my hands… so we’re using it very carefully!

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    gbars70  over 2 years ago

    I dunno, I’m a 6 foot pole and I’m pretty friendly.

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    kaffekup   over 2 years ago

    “You adults get offa my lawn!

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I’ve been practicing social isolation for decades.

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    Superfrog  over 2 years ago

    That’s nothing to sneeze at.

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    enigmamz  over 2 years ago

    A man ahead of his time.

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    Sanspareil  over 2 years ago

    Bucky Katt’s anti social network seems a brilliant scheme in the light of hindsight!

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    eastern.woods.metal  over 2 years ago

    Stay safe, everyone. We WILL get through this

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    dadoctah  over 2 years ago

    Social distancing still isn’t very social.

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    gopher gofer  over 2 years ago

    i love social distancing – it’s just a shame that folks can’t be even more distant…

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    keenanthelibrarian  over 2 years ago

    Never thought of that – might work …

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    dot-the-I  over 2 years ago

    Dear could up the caliber by installing a toilet plunger on the tip.

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    INGSOC   over 2 years ago

    Go go gadget arms..

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    cdward  over 2 years ago

    His moment has come.

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    saltylife16  over 2 years ago

    He’s keeping it real

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member over 2 years ago

    To be wielded effectively, I estimate the pole would need to be between 14 to 15 feet long, assuming uniform weight throughout its length.

    [ ps — My comment should make it obvious that I don’t need to socially distance myself; others do it for me. ]

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    eastern.woods.metal  over 2 years ago

    It won’t be long until " they " introduce a colour coded star to wear. GREEN means you’ve had and are immune and can socialize and go to work. YELLOW means you haven’t had it and haven’t been tested. RED means you’re infected now

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    rmercer Premium Member over 2 years ago

    For keeping scientists away, you’ll need a 3-meter pole.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Well, with the blistering incompetence coming from our “leadership” (HA!) in Washington, we have to take matters into our own hands, and yes, this also includes having the ability to laugh, however ironically at the mess we are in. BUT, yes, we will get through it in time, not because of “The Administration”, but rather IN SPITE of it!

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    e.groves  over 2 years ago

    How does this social distancing work? The parking lot at Walmart has been full every weekend.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    True, that. Though I suppose this is the time when being introverted really comes in handy. I’m not lonely. I’m alone. …sigh

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    franki_g  over 2 years ago

    I went out once, after 8 days. I was going to shower 1st but then thought it would make more sense to shower AFTER.and besidesit contributes to social distancing. Even the blithe won’t get too close if I smell, um, natural. Think of all the mouthwash I can save, too!

    Social stinkage!

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    nosirrom  over 2 years ago

    I have an industrial N95 mask that I bought 5 or 6 years ago because I was sanding joint compound. It’s been very effective at making people social distance me at the supermarket.

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    HappyDog{㋡ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸ ᵈᵃʸ☂} Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I wonder how many times the curmudgeon has replaced the front window after wielding his 10 foot pole?

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I get the mail the next day and wash well after touching it.

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    rickseg  over 2 years ago

    Dress riiiiight . . . DRESS!!

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    Nate England  over 2 years ago

    I’m a gamer. I’ve been social distancing for years and people have always mocked me for it. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

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    Pickled Pete  over 2 years ago

    Example of social distancing:

    “If you see me coming, better step aside. A lotta men didn’t, a lotta men died.”

    — Tennessee Ernie Ford

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    Masterskrain Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Living in the country on the Kentucky/ Tennessee State line, over 20 miles from a town of less then 6000 makes it really easy for me to practice social distancing. I’ve been doing it for years!

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    r413j731  over 2 years ago


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    Linguist  over 2 years ago

    Curmudgeons of the World, UNITE!

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    the lost wizard  over 2 years ago

    Can’t touch this.

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    Vangoghdog01  over 2 years ago

    Next steps: Dig up the yard for a mine field and razor wire on top of and behind the fence.

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    Linguist  over 2 years ago

    As I mentioned elsewhere, yesterday…

    I swear to God, if I see one more notice or hear one more talking head tell me to “Wash Your Hands”, I shall personally hunt that person down and throttle them with my over-sanitized, super scrubbed hands!

    I will, of course, after the satisfactory strangulation, make sure I properly wash my hands…

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    SunflowerGirl100  over 2 years ago

    Is he named Ove?

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    Frankie Harvey-Shea  over 2 years ago

    Rats! And here I thought I was ahead of my time.

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    Ermine Notyours  over 2 years ago

    Can he get the mail with that stick? That’s what I thought before I read the caption.

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  44. Coexist
    Bookworm  over 2 years ago

    Instead of Social Distancing, which seems to bother people, why don’t we call it Asocial Mingling? (They’re both oxymorons, so what the heck.)

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    marko92752  over 2 years ago

    This current situation reminds me of I Robot by Isaac Asimov where people socialize only over the internet and dread actual contact with other people.

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    Lablubber   over 2 years ago

    Hey you kids. Get off everyone’s lawn.

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    waltermatera  over 2 years ago

    I have considered curmidging on occasion . . .

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    hsawlrae  over 2 years ago

    With a 10 foot pole by a 5 foot Russian.

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    DCBakerEsq  over 2 years ago

    I’ve enjoyed social distancing for years now.

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    chief  over 2 years ago

    That’s me, a curmudgeon. I have a doormat that says “Go Away!”

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    mistercatworks  over 2 years ago

    I see that in Nepal they are using the “ten-foot pole” to keep a good distance from suspects.

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    Cactus-Pete  over 2 years ago

    Why do cartoonists so often draw the mailbox flag upside down?

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    claudia.sawyer  over 2 years ago

    No hugs, no hand shaking?Heaven!

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    bakana  over 2 years ago

    I’d say more of a Misanthrope than a Curmudgeon.

    Although the two do tend to occur as a Pair most of the time.

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    thedogesl Premium Member over 2 years ago

    True pioneers get no respect! (:-)

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    fairportfan  over 2 years ago

    Watch out for that eleven-foot Lithuanian, though.

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    eddi_tbh  over 2 years ago

    Some people saw this coming. Some people just don’t like other people.

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    Ukko wilko  over 2 years ago

    I got my curmudgeon certificate years ago.

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    suñña  over 2 years ago

    Wladislaw Podolsky, a ten-foot Pole, said he didn’t want to touch the guy, either.

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    dsjwriter  over 2 years ago

    Social distancing means that people who work for firms such as Gallup or Zogby have to conduct 10-foot polls,

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