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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 08, 2019

91 Comments

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  1. Birthcontrol
    Dtroutma Premium Member 13 days ago

    You will fall head over heels in love with this job.

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    oldpine52  13 days ago

    The last one took a job as a corporate head hunter.

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    Jesy Bertz  13 days ago

    Is this how the word “executive” was derived from “execute”?

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    Bilan  13 days ago

    Forgot to say: Get a head in this business!

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    sirbadger  13 days ago

    The customers complain and then they stop complaining.

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    lopaka  13 days ago

    Watch it. Very sick humor coming up……. how to get ahead in life.

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    mr_sherman Premium Member 13 days ago

    No conscience required.

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    HidariMak  13 days ago

    Reminds me of an old joke. “Do you like music? Do you like traveling? Do you like meeting new people? Apply within.” Turns out that the job was selling pianos door to door.

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    keenanthelibrarian  13 days ago

    Sir, see me up safely. As for my coming down, I’ll shift for myself. Sire Thomas More, at the foot of the scaffold.

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    Watcher  13 days ago

    And you can tell the world that you now have an axe to grind.

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    ChristopherSutler  13 days ago

    Guess the last guy who had the job just couldn’t hack it, so he got the axe. ducks the rotten tomatoes being hurled his way

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    Zebrastripes  13 days ago

    Where’s my cubicle…who took my cubicle….

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    michaeljwolff  13 days ago

    Some lifting, but hey . . . also some swinging!

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    sanderling75  13 days ago

    Seems like there’s a dozen folks lining up to show that to one guy, and they’re bringing their own axes

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    dot-the-I  13 days ago

    Having to work with basket cases as they do, frequent turnover for that job is not unexpected.

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    VictoryRider  12 days ago

    I used to joke about putting an add in the paper for help that read something like this:

    “Lose weight!

    Get fit!

    Get a nice tan!

    All while getting paid to do it!"

    … I’m a roofing contractor.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 12 days ago

    Now, if this was set up in the middle of Washington, D.C., I’d be FIRST IN LINE TO APPLY!

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  18. Pirate63
    Linguist  12 days ago

    Good tips, but your clients get to have the last word!

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    Nannette Boulais  12 days ago

    All the BS you get fed when you go on job interviews. . .at least this guy knows EXACTLY what he’s in for!

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    Nate England  12 days ago

    And you get tips!

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    JudyAz  12 days ago

    I think the ad writer also works as a real-estate agent.

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    Connie.Shearer  12 days ago

    Sign up now! It’s the one thing that will insure that you’re on the right end of the ax.

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  23. Hm
    cdnalor  12 days ago

    One of the few jobs where you get the axe when you’re hired.

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    wirepunchr  12 days ago

    The technology you’re handling is cutting edge.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 12 days ago

    They never presented this opportunity at the high school job fair. I suppose there has to be someone somewhere who is looking for an executioner.

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    Jeff Astle Premium Member 12 days ago

    You’ll be the head man almost immediately.

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    Juris Bloviatus  12 days ago

    Very little risk of being " outsourced"

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    pekenpug  12 days ago

    Clean up isn’t mentioned. Is that contracted out?

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 12 days ago

    Oh, good, I was looking for a new job after I got laid off from the returns department for lack of business.

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    DCBakerEsq  12 days ago

    Not much room for career advancement, but plenty of opportunity to get a head.

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    mfrasca  12 days ago

    Severian leaves Thrax.

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    BiathlonNut  12 days ago

    Better to be the hanger than the hangee.

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    RoyanRannedos Premium Member 12 days ago

    After years of confusion, he found his true calling as a headhunter.

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    IshkaBibel1  12 days ago

    That is the best way to get a head in life.

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  35. Wizanim
    ChessPirate  12 days ago

    “Axe about our great retirement plan…”

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    Lablubber   12 days ago

    Nope. I could never work in HR.

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    dsjwriter  12 days ago

    How to Get a head in Business Without Really Trying.

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    GiantShetlandPony  12 days ago

    It’s all in the job description. Had a friend in the Air Force who when people asked what he did in the Air Force, he would tell them he laid on his belly and passed gas all day. He was the boom operator for inflight refueling. ;)

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    Baba27  12 days ago

    Detachment proficiency required.

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    Night-Gaunt49  12 days ago

    And the fact that no one is exactly precise. Why the Guillotine invented by a German to be merciful.

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  41. Toughcat
    bakana  12 days ago

    Gym Membership and advanced Job Training provided for the best candidates.

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    eddi_tbh  12 days ago

    He’s just axing for ir.

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    lesannc  12 days ago

    An excellent collection of puns, fellow Wiley’s.

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    gopher gofer  12 days ago

    i dunno – i’d be worried about getting the axe…

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    eccolibri60 Premium Member 11 days ago

    No long-term commitment with customers.

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