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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 07, 2019

102 Comments

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    Watcher  6 months ago

    This is what happens when you listen to Secretary Rick Perry.

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    kaffekup   6 months ago

    He should have invested in the blockchain of Bitcoin.

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  3. Peru monkey
    sirbadger  6 months ago

    He went from having a tin ear to having a tin cup.

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  4. Rick o shay
    wiatr Premium Member 6 months ago

    I understood Sheldon Cooper and the guys better than I can figure out what that gibberish says.

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    Superfrog  6 months ago

    Your career package has been rebalanced and your options were rotated.

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  6. Rainbow brain
    Concretionist  6 months ago

    I always found it smarter to simply nod and stay quiet when people were blathering in that mode. Then go back to adding actual value, by doing actual work, that created things that the company could actually sell for actual money. Almost all the blather eventually went away, along with the blatherers (and was replaced by blather that used different words to say the same amount of nothing). I did enjoy the fad of having stand up meetings. And “Agile” worked pretty well as long as the group (and the tools) were able to cope with the reality of discovering trouble part way into the development process.

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    AshburnStadium  6 months ago

    He was unable to find SOLUTIONS to corporate needs. That phrase jumped the shark when I saw a truck lettered for “Funeral Solutions.”

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  8. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  6 months ago

    Someday I expect to see some guy in a Star Trek uniform in this spot with a sign that reads “modulated my shield frequencies when I should have reversed my field polarity”.

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  9. Saywhat 2016
    Say What?  6 months ago

    The only phrase that really matters in the corporate world language is “maximize profits”. Everything else is baloney.

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    eastern.woods.metal  6 months ago

    He should have got the APP for that

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    Zebrastripes  6 months ago

    Didn’t they ’splain to ya?

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  12. Americanflag
    Masterskrain Premium Member 6 months ago

    “If you can’t dazzle them with diamonds, baffle them with bulls***!”

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    SusieB  6 months ago

    It means you’ve been aged out

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    sanderling75  6 months ago

    Except for suit colors, these guys could be looking at the before and after of themselves.

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    DanFlak  6 months ago

    If you want to see this kind of drivel, look at people’s resumes or their Linked-in profiles.

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    sanderling75  6 months ago

    corporate philosophy written in obfuscatory terminology and digital moats in the form of long phone menus protect the inner sanctums of the 1%. That poor mutt had probably reached about 5.5% when he finally caved.

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    uniquename  6 months ago

    It means he’s over 23 yrs old.

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  18. Triscele
    konjiki  6 months ago

    This all goes back to the seven habits of highly effective people—one must proactively leverage one’s synergies into win-win solutions…

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    nosirrom  6 months ago

    In my first real job I maximized product placement which increased consumer consumption and corporate profits with minimum investment in time and money.

    i.e. I worked in a grocery store stocking shelves for minimum wage after school.

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    Herb L 1954  6 months ago

    And the band plays on ;(

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    Al Nala  6 months ago

    I hear ya, bro.

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  22. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  6 months ago

    Throw corporate executives at the wall, and if they don’t stick, throw them HARDER!

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    COL Crash  6 months ago

    Well there’s going to be a lot of that since that Paradigm shift destroys quite a few Business Models.

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  24. Snoots cookies jar profile pic
    Snoots  6 months ago

    This comic makes more sense than just about everything I’ve read lately. ;D

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  25. Pirate63
    Linguist  6 months ago

    There’s only one thing worse than being stuck in a room full of computer development engineers, and that’s being in a room full of business marketing mavens.

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  26. Wizanim
    ChessPirate  6 months ago

    I think it means failed to intrinsically create long-term high-impact functionalities, or perhaps didn’t rapidiously mesh accurate methods of empowerment, or possibly even was slow to energistically develop enterprise potentialities…

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    Honorable mention in the banjo toss Premium Member 6 months ago

    An existential problem with transactional issues.

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  28. Bluedog
    Bilan  6 months ago

    Translation: He couldn’t change with the times.

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    notnow  6 months ago

    After a couple of years of board meetings I put together a Buzzword Bingo sheet and once almost shouted “Bingo!” because it was flowing fast and thick.

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  30. George jetson
    Bicycle Dude  6 months ago

    I hate corporate speak. Read any LinkedIn bio which uses such terminology and you’ll find a corporate jerk only looking out for themselves, those who outline themselves with a concise and succinct bio, are the ones who are loyal and will actually make a difference with a company.

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    AMBER1  6 months ago

    Don’t know what that means, either. ;)

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    Rad-ish says, posting No Ambiguity on Sherpa Premium Member 6 months ago

    It means more profit for the company while providing less to the customer.

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  33. Toughcat
    bakana  6 months ago

    His real problem is that he never realized it was all just a Bluff that meant Nothing except as a smokescreen to identify people who could be Bluffed out of their Bonus Checks.

    (i.e. RIFed)

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    dot-the-I  6 months ago

    His absconded ceramic coffee mug, his last grasp of personal justice and dignity.

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    eddi_tbh  6 months ago

    I understand enough of that to want to slap him silly (ier).

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