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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 20, 2019

87 Comments

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    kakaako.fixtures  2 months ago

    I hope this guy is a real estate lawyer or a loan officer.

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    Prescott_Philosopher   2 months ago

    He worked in an escrow office.

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    sirbadger  2 months ago

    I’d sleep better with the paperwork.

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    in.amongst  2 months ago

    just jump off!

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    mr_sherman Premium Member 2 months ago

    “I forgot to tell you, it’s written in Esperanto.”

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    dadoctah  2 months ago

    Least popular holodeck program on Star Trek Deep Space Nine: “A day at the DMV with Dr Bashir”.

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    Watcher  2 months ago

    And of course the coin has 2 heads or 2 tails. No matter what your do, you lose.

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    DanFlak  2 months ago

    And for particularly bad sinners, Help Desk. People are pissed before they call you and you are not responsible for their issue.

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    uniquename  2 months ago

    Fine. I’ll start going to church again.

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    SusieB  2 months ago

    I don’t like extreme heat or cold so it’s paperwork for me

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    Darsan54 Premium Member 2 months ago

    or……..watch nothing but cable news.

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    david_42  2 months ago

    It’s easy: this one is a CYA for the agent, this is a CYA for the broker, this is a CYA … and this single sheet of paper transfers the legal title.

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    MichaelHelwig  2 months ago

    Take the Freeze, quickly knock some holes in the wall to the Burn and Voila! a moderate climate…just don’t let in anyone from the fossil fuel industry.

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    Troy Premium Member 2 months ago

    That’s an easy choice.

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    Lynnjav  2 months ago

    This is so close to what I said after dealing with my mom’s insurance paperwork for years! LOL

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    rlaker22j  2 months ago

    the old joke of time to go back standing on your heads coffee break’s over

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  17. Pete
    psampson  2 months ago

    Back in the 80’s I did real estate closings for about five years. If you haven’t worked on this stuff you have no idea boring anything can be. I realized I had reaching my breaking point at a closing that went on and on after five o’clock on a Friday while buyers and sellers argued over a pile of half-rotten fireplace wood worth maybe $20. Sellers wanted buyers to pay them $20 for the wood. Buyers wanted sellers to remove the wood from the property.

    Finally I found myself slamming the table with the palm of my hand. Looking the brokers in the eye, I said something like “It’s after 5 on a Friday and I want to go home. Who has $20 for the sellers and a truck to haul the wood away to save this deal?” After a few seconds of awkward silence the brokers rose to the occasion.

    Both buyers and sellers looked triumphant. The brokers didn’t speak to me again for a long, long time.

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  18. Egil skallagrimsson
    Kveldulf  2 months ago

    I used to live in Winnipeg. I once rode a motorcycle all the way around Australia during the southern summer. Neither of the first two choices holds any terrors for me.

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    DCBakerEsq  2 months ago

    How insulting. Attorneys were paid good money to write that drivel.

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    Snoots  2 months ago

    Most people really don’t get it: True Hell starts long before death. It entails sitting in some random Church every Sunday morning listening to some brain-damaged preacher twist scripture to his own interpretation while hypnotizing you into transferring money from your pocket to his. And like the comic shows— you can attend the hell of your choice! :D

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    Godfreydaniel  2 months ago

    Is the motto on the coin, “In Satan We Trust”?

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    CAPT Cooper w/grouper  2 months ago

    How can they tell if you’re really reading or just day-dreaming? I was in the service, I knew guys who could sleep with their eyes open.

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    cmforzetting  2 months ago

    Paperwork – now, if it had been “Fill out real estate paperwork”, then it gets more painful

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    Banjo Gordy Premium Member 2 months ago

    What about the choice of a room full of people learning to play banjos & bagpipes? By the way, Eddy Peabody was quite accomplished on both of these instruments!

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    Lablubber   2 months ago

    Hot and cold running souls.

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    nikpromo  2 months ago

    I do not like temperature extremes, so I would take the paperwork; it is the best way to become a mindless zombie. Now as for the ones that created the paperwork……….

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    Bill Löhr Premium Member 2 months ago

    Or read the terms and conditions from websites and determine what’s changed from the prior versions.

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    Rick Smith Premium Member 2 months ago

    But I forgot to tell you: The cold and paperwork open into the same room.

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  29. Pupil
    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member 2 months ago

    Relax. Eternity isn’t as long as it used to be.

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    Bicycle Dude  2 months ago

    The only time I had more paperwork to read than real estate was entering and exiting the military.

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  31. Eyeload
    Eyes have it.  2 months ago

    A Laura Nyro song just came into my head. Can anyone guess which one? {Oh, could we add a 4th door? Standing in line at the DMV for hours, only to find you have the wrong paperwork, forever.}

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    Concretionist  2 months ago

    If you actually read The Inferno (translated, I presume) you find that the various sins are punished in various appropriate ways. And that “choice” isn’t a big part of the equation.

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    dwane.scoty1  2 months ago

    He left a space for a 4th option: arrow pointing down to the Never ending Abyss !

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    Tom O'Bedlam  2 months ago

    What the heck did he do to get punished for eternity?

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    keenanthelibrarian  2 months ago

    Ah, decisions, decisions …

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