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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 29, 2019

70 Comments

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  1. Birthcontrol
    Dtroutma Premium Member 5 months ago

    Not an ad for gym memberships or cycle psychos.

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    ClarkKent46  5 months ago

    Is sir mix a lot up there? He did “I like big butts and I cannot lie”

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    mr_sherman Premium Member 5 months ago

    “Or your wallet.”

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    AllishaDawn  5 months ago

    What about the gut?

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  5. Gerri lutton
    g.lutton  5 months ago

    Really? Who is God going to bring to achieve this? People will always remain people. Men will continue to horn at your big butt and the other women will continue envying it.

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    somebodyshort  5 months ago

    Or how big your hands and feet are

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    macky87  5 months ago

    Kim Kardashian won’t go in if that’s the case. That’s not her version of Heaven.

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    ctb11365  5 months ago

    Gut, But? What’s the difference?

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  9. Hercules club
    Alexikakos  5 months ago

     

    As a butt is defined as 126 U.S. gallons, you don’t really have a choice as to size.

    That’s a cube measuring 2’ 6.76055556708…" on a side.

    I’ll have a butt of malmsey, please.

     

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    Z51 Premium Member 5 months ago

    I’m proud, I said nothing!

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  11. Trollspry
    Enter.Name.Here  5 months ago

    But how large your EGO is makes a big “he stays”/“he goes” difference.

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    in.amongst  5 months ago

    Prefer “if’s” anyway – but(t)s are not for me.

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    thelost wizard  5 months ago

    If you’ve been good all your life you deserve to make an ass of yourself.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 5 months ago

    I wonder if I will still hold in my stomach in paradise? Old habits are hard to break.

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    aerilim  5 months ago

    What butt? You left it behing so the maggots can be feed.

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    SusanSunshine Premium Member 5 months ago

    What I don’t get is why anybody cares how big someone else’s butt is on this side of that gate.

    I mean, if you are personally attracted to it…. great.

    If you’re not, or you think… or especially, if you want to say…. it’s too big, too small, too wide, too narrow….

    BUTT OUT!

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    mwaurelius  5 months ago

    But me no butts.

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    DanFlak  5 months ago

    “Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven.” We could use a little of that attitude down here.

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  19. Sjacket
    phredturner  5 months ago

    Same sign on the door to Planet Fitness

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    sarah413 Premium Member 5 months ago

    So, that’s where Sir Mix-A-Lot got the idea for his song?

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    Mighty Ratón  5 months ago

    The feet?

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    sanderling75  5 months ago

    And there’s an end to that issue

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  23. Pirate63
    Linguist  5 months ago

    “The Butt Stops Here!”

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    ptnjbrown  5 months ago

    It should read " No one cares about outward appearance past this point."

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  25. Pa220005
    Fido (aka Felix Rex) Premium Member 5 months ago

    The real gag in this story is that the sign is in reference to the Chief of Heavenly Social Status and Popularity, Henry Nobody.

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    bribenk  5 months ago

    good thing Kim Kardasian won’t be going there

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    Herb L 1954  5 months ago

    There is a glimmer of hope for me then ;)

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    fuzzbucket  5 months ago

    My butt and gut have both exceeded my expectations.

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  29. Nomagram
    JohnRCraig55  5 months ago

    They only worry about how big your head is.

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    DCBakerEsq  5 months ago

    Heaven is filled with big butts? #UnsettlingAfterlife

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    GeraldLawhorn  5 months ago

    OMG…..I printed out a copy for my wife to pin on the frig to show her that the two most adoring guys in her life don’t give a s**t……..me and god

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  32. 3hands
    Concretionist  5 months ago

    I’da thunk you’d have immediate control of your body shape past that point. I want functional wings (and to get rid of my fear of heights).

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    Night-Gaunt49  5 months ago

    As I understand it when the 2nd Resurrection happens and before Final Judgment, everyone alive and dead will get new perfect immortal indestructible bodies at their best, but looking the same. Or so it has been interpreted by some.

    https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/do-we-receive-the-same-body-we-had-on-earth-at-the-resurrection

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  34. Missing large
    cmxx  5 months ago

    Maybe Mr. Miller is referring to one’s undeserved, self-inflated idea of one’s own worth (that’s a different meaning of the word “butt”) instead of to one’s physical bottom. A long time ago I used to hear people say “He thinks his rear end weighs a ton” when they got tired of saying “He’s conceited idiot.”

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    Daeder Premium Member 5 months ago

    That’s what makes it heaven for women. What makes it heaven for men is that no woman will ever ask them again if something makes her butt look big.

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    Linus13  5 months ago

    Note to self: cancel gym membership.

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    STACEY MARSHALL Premium Member 5 months ago

    Tough luck for the Kardashians, etc!

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